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smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 1:46 AM

VERY PERSONAL POST

Not a joke


At 3:30 pm I discovered that my wife was having an affair with a co-worker. Total lightning bolt from nowhere.

We've been together since we aere 14 and she is the last person you'd ever suspect, devoted churchgoer, etc.

So, I'm pretty f'ed in the head. I sent her packing, my kids are all camping on the ground in my bedroom...

so.....

suzannec
Suzannec  (Level: 247.4 - Posts: 616)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 2:02 AM

Bummer Smaug. Sorry to here that. Your Sploofus pals are here for ya, buddy.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 2:18 AM

PM

oldcougar
Oldcougar  (Level: 220.4 - Posts: 1935)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 2:18 AM

Sorry for your troubles, John. If you need a ear, I'm available.

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.7 - Posts: 7573)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 2:30 AM

There are no platitudes that will provide comfort for you right now. While you sort out your thoughts and decide how to proceed, just know that I and scores of others are keeping you in our thoughts.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.5 - Posts: 1025)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 3:29 AM

PM

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.6 - Posts: 5316)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 5:46 AM

sorry, Smaug, what else can one say.

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 7:05 AM

I'm so sorry Smaug.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 7:22 AM

You've always impressed me as a strong and confident individual. You can get through this. This is the worst thing that can happen to anybody. You must hold it together for yourself and your children. Who knows what possessed your wife to make such a terrible choice? Don't bury your feelings but understand them and you'll be a stronger, though sadder in some ways, person at the end of the day.
This community will always listen and support you.
Maureen

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 7:30 AM

pm

chyenn
Chyenn  (Level: 203.0 - Posts: 1332)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 7:31 AM

your family is in my thoughts as you go through this.

~~chy~~

erin0620
Erin0620  (Level: 77.2 - Posts: 737)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 7:56 AM

I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you.

Good for you, for taking a stand, you are worth better than that. And even more "good for you", for taking extra care of your kids right now.

tresgatos
Tresgatos  (Level: 205.1 - Posts: 4199)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 8:13 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about this, Smaug. My thoughts are with you and your children.

-- Geri

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6646)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 8:27 AM

What they all said.
I wish I could suggest that watching the Mets would help you but....
we are all in this together.

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.4 - Posts: 5493)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 8:46 AM

My thoughts and prayers are with you Smaug...and if you need a shoulder mine are available...
Vickie

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 8:57 AM

I am so sorry about this. There are some really good folks here who are sounding boards for venting, and you know you've got support.

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:07 AM

PM

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:19 AM

Prayers for you and your children --


smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:28 AM


Thanks for the support.

Well, I'm out of the house. She came back and dug in despite the kids cursing her out. Can't stay under the same roof....

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:47 AM

PM in response to home

flcyclist
Flcyclist  (Level: 124.7 - Posts: 691)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:47 AM

Smaug, I really am sorry for you. I've been married and divorced three times, but at least I can say with certainty that none of my husbands cheated on me. Honesty is the thing I value most in the world, and I can barely imagine how hard it must be for you. We are all here to support you, as you surely know. Good luck and hang in there!

lbh58
Lbh58  (Level: 40.0 - Posts: 161)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:08 AM

sorry to hear that, we're with you....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:10 AM

Hey Smaug - I don't know how old your kids are but my parents divorced when I was 5 (my mother was having an affair and basically considered my birth mother - have an amazing step-mom) - my dad raised us - got custody of us in 1966 - unheard of for a guy - just thought to consider - I would guess your kids were old enough to have their opinions count.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:23 AM

Be careful of leaving your house. It could be considered abandonment. I'll bet she got legal advice and that's why she's back in the house. You've worked hard for what you co-own, don't hand it over. Protect yourself.
Maureen

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:49 AM

PM

Above advice good - stay in the house if you can; it doesn't look good otherwise and it might f-up the already confused kids.

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 12:55 PM

Went through same thing with first wife. Can only advise you to NOT handle it like I did. Boyfriend lost the battle but I was the big legal loser in the long run. Recommend MP and bbear's advice.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 197.5 - Posts: 1302)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 1:01 PM

PM

aquamar
Aquamar  (Level: 179.0 - Posts: 910)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 1:49 PM

That may be good advise not to leave your home. Just remember you still have all of us here to lean on.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 2:57 PM

So sorry Smaug....
However - think you might take advice about leaving the house
The hurt and anger you rightly feel at this moment,
is not healthy for either of you.
Please....don't drink - and don't go back until you feel calm
and can have a rational discussion about the future

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 4:48 PM

PM...

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 9:41 PM

Folks: keep holding him up. Bump this thread and help the man out. Been there, done that and the pain is unreal.

Sometimes I wish we really did have an island.....

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:14 PM

A very good lawyer would be an excellent choice even if this mess doesn't wind up in a divorce. Once again I am speaking from experience. I didn't get one and was lucky to get out of it with the clothes on my back.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 10:49 PM

Excellent advice, Don, too many variables could blow up in your face if you don't have legal advice.

Also, I get the sickening revulsion and disgust at this betrayal; but you must not leave your house. Your children need you and you need them as well. Your son is starting college in a short while, make sure his head is on straight.

I know we all wish we could say some magic words here. It WILL get better, it takes time, but your life will improve from this moment. Work towards that just PLEASE get back in the house or it may go more south than it already is.
M.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:05 PM

I have noted and remarked in the past, that there seems
to be some correlation between what we post on these
threads - and which ads show up at the bottom of the page....

After reading Smaug's thread again, I noticed there were
three ads, all about "Marital Cheating" Makes me ask
just how much privacy we have here????
Where do these ads come from????

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:07 PM

And, if we're platinum, why are there ads at all?

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.5 - Posts: 1025)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:34 PM

Take it to the other thread about ads. This one is about Smaug.

No I'm not Heidi.

bleepy
Bleepy  (Level: 140.6 - Posts: 621)
Thu, 7th Aug '08 11:38 PM

Does anyone know how Smaug is doing?

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 12:01 AM

Maybe you could PM Lodi, and a few others
who asked Smaug to PM directly to them.

haydn
Haydn  (Level: 199.0 - Posts: 254)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 12:23 AM

"Spoke" with him this evening. Man's a mess. It is our collective job to hold him up.

madmario
Madmario  (Level: 27.3 - Posts: 33)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 3:12 AM

BUMP

I don't really know you mate, but listen to these people because we all want the best for you. Good luck.

Tim

fatsa
Fatsa  (Level: 40.8 - Posts: 44)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:04 AM

Because I have lived a similar situation with my parents my advice to you is that you focus on your children cause usually they are the real victims is such cases. All the best!

1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5888)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:28 AM

Please try to keep us posted......we are here for you.

sandracam
Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:43 AM

Hang in there the best you can guy..

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 8:59 AM

If you can't get thru it one day at a time, try one hour or one minute at a time. Lean on your friends, from the posts, lots of people care about you.

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 219.9 - Posts: 101)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 9:22 AM

No words of advice from me, Smaug, but I can commiserate: it sucks, doesn't it?

sploofus
Justin  
Fri, 8th Aug '08 12:24 PM

I'm sorry to hear about this

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.5 - Posts: 1025)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 2:18 PM

Smaug, I hope you know we're thinking about you. This is just to say,

bump.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 4:42 PM

Weirdest thing, I dont know Smaug, just thru his pithy comments -- yet he has been on my mind all day -- and now Justin too.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 4:57 PM

These situations cut into all those things about ourselves that we take for granted. Our confidence, approach, attitude, emotions and even zeal for life. Second guessing yourself becomes common.

Here's what you need to take with yourself today, Smaug. You are vital to all of us here who post on Salty Dog, that hasn't changed. You have a cut to the chase thinking that is at times hilarious, exasperating, sarcastic but always truthful (at least from your perspective!), that hasn't changed. You are obviously a man of some intellect, that hasn't changed. Your love for your children shines through with every word you post about them, that hasn't changed. Hold on for dear life to what you can in a suddenly upside-down world. Be clear about the what an excellent human being you have convinced us all that you are.

We should keep the positive thoughts flowing so when Smaug logs on he sees we care. I think it's important.
Maureen

donleigh
Donleigh  (Level: 147.8 - Posts: 5087)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 5:10 PM

You are in all our thoughts.


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