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Smaug  (Level: 140.7 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 6:14 PM


Okay.......deep breath

Drove 5 hours to VA overnight them 5 hours home this afternoon.

Took the master bedroom. No argument (although we have a very nice sweet downstairs.

Talked to the boyfreind....he's a nice guy. Doesn't that suck? Talked to his wife, they are going to work on their marriage, want no contact with my wife.

She is, get this, sort of heartbroken, as much as she ever shows emotions. Implies she'd be with him if he would.

The guy told me they'd had sex 6 or 7 times between March and June. I believe him because I told him I had a whole computer log and would wipe out his wife and marriage if I caught him in a lie.

Weird news -- she solicits sex from me at least twice a week. Never stopped.

What else?

I don't know, what else do you need?

We are a no fault divorce state, so she could do donkey shows in Tijuana and still get half my stuff.

She calls me at the office a few minutes ago and says "I'm making a big family dinner". Yeah, right. I called my son and we are going to dinner. Told her don't worry about my meals in the future. Like I can eat, lost 8 pounds in 48 hours.

I had a lot of PMs thanks, I didn't answer them all or just said "thx" so sorry for the brevity.

Here is a creepy thing. I am driving down to Virginia and stop at a gas station. I get out and the loudspeaker is playing a song I never hear called "She's Like The Wond"

Our wedding song.

1mks  (Level: 208.6 - Posts: 5868)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 6:37 PM

Continue the deep breaths and take one day at a time. My heart goes out to you. I have a big fluffy shoulder should you need one. Been there, done that....only "he" was the one doing the two timing.

Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 6:47 PM

Hang in there Smaug. We're all thinking about you and hoping for the best.

Breathe deep...


Oldcougar  (Level: 217.3 - Posts: 1935)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:03 PM


Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:04 PM

Hope you're having a nice dinner with your son. No words of wisdom here, other than we care.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:05 PM

Nice song. Dammit.

If you'd like me to sing it to you and ruin it completely for life, give me a call.

Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 7:06 PM

WOW, just wow.
hang tough

Papajensai  (Level: 190.6 - Posts: 1025)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 8:22 PM

Do you get half of her Tijuana income?

Alvandy  (Level: 226.0 - Posts: 7527)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 9:07 PM

For awhile, eat some meals that pack a few calories [maybe even a peppermint pattie for a treat]; ; keep taking deep breaths; take some nice fresh air walks/ stop and smell the flowers; log on to Sploofus once in awhile; chat a little bit; play some games; challenge the next player/ victim on the list to a "showdown" with a vengeance; think about what the ladies are wearing; and strive to get back your sense of humor.

It can go a long way to returning to some semblance of "normalcy".


Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 9:51 PM

Smaug, you said he was a nice guy. That's where our situations differ. My exe's new friend was a real A-hole. Don't know whether it's better or worse but in my case it felt much nicer when I put his lights out for a spell. Might be easier for you to heal the wounds. Sounds to me like the damage might be repairable. Hope so.

Mplaw51  (Level: 176.9 - Posts: 1582)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 10:17 PM

Glad you're back home. Communication is key. Don't believe that she'd take off with the other guy if the opportunity would have presented itself. She's confused as well, though she doesn't have my sympathy. Hire a professional, they'll guide the conversation and help you through this dreadful pain.

You're in everyone's thoughts, be well.

Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 10:40 PM

Before I became a truck driver, I worked for a big steel company as a production planner for almost five years. After a few years, I made friends with a girl and we would go to lunch two or three times a week. We were both single and we dated a few times and we kept it clean. We kept our relationship between us and nobody knew we saw each other after working hours. Her old boyfriend came home from Viet Nam and then it ended between her and I. We agreed to stay friends and to continue working at the same place. After a year, she married and we remained friends. One day I was called into my office manager's office and I was told to watch myself being around this girl. They told me that they didn't care what I did with a single girl but the married ones were their problem. They claimed that married men and women put more time together with fellow workers than they do with their spouses and funny things happened. I later found out that divorces, wrong fathered children and desertions were very common where I worked. John, I have no idea what happened with you or your wife and I will not take anyone's side, but maybe she just put too much time around this guy and made a mistake.

Flcyclist  (Level: 122.6 - Posts: 691)
Fri, 8th Aug '08 11:41 PM

John, you know we're all your friends and are thinking of you and your problems. Work it out with her if you still want her or just end it. It's your choice, not hers, since she is the one who blew it. If you still love her and can forgive (AND forget), then get some counseling and we'll all hope for the best for the both of you. In the meantime, as others have said, eat well, breath deeply and just hang in there. Come to the island for support from your friends as often as you can!

Bbear  (Level: 160.0 - Posts: 2301)
Sat, 9th Aug '08 12:31 AM

Hear you, John. My ex-ahole never stopped the sex. However, he bought new underwear, brought my flowers on a regular basis, got a new "middle life crises" car, started going to a real barber, etc. All the signs were there only I refused to see them.
It get's better, I promise. My ex-ahole is estranged from the kids (that's his shame} and hopefully lonely.

Hang in there John. Keep in close touch. You have support from many.

Toledosugar  (Level: 51.4 - Posts: 281)
Sat, 9th Aug '08 1:20 AM

Mine never stopped the sex either. He decided he wanted out just a month shy of twenty five years of marriage. Found out later that, all those nights he worked late, he was out tomcatting around for the whole 25 years.
Good thing you went home. She could have gotten you for desertion and she would have gotten a much bigger slice of the pie.
I can forgive a lot of things but disloyalty or screwing around, aren't on my forgiveness list.
Hang in there, so sad the little ones are involved. Somehow they always think it's their fault.

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