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1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:21 AM


Make me laugh.........

Zeedee  (Level: 222.1 - Posts: 1088)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:33 AM

A Deep Thought by Jack Handey

I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:50 AM

Remember the cartoons that showed one of the characters after they had just devoured more food than their entire body weight? And it would show them laying or sitting there, exhausted, with a belly mound that was ten times the size of their normal waist? OK, keep that in mind for this story.

I have always brought my kids to work with me, off and on. While my youngest is a little firecracker, my son has always been shy. There was a time when he actually wouldn't talk to people. In my department, we have this fellow who is gray haired, gray bearded, straggly haired, rotund, and is a biker. For the purpose of this story, we'll call him Duncan. Because that's his name. So one day, I have my son with me at work (he was about 5), and we walk into an office and Duncan is sitting there with his feet propped up. The t-shirt he is wearing is a little too short for him, and he has a good 5 inches of belly sticking out under it. And then, because of the girth of his belly, he's sitting with his hands clasped and his entire forearms resting on it. I am standing there, conducting my business, when out of the blue, little Connor peaks out from behind me and in his bravest little voice, asks Duncan..............

"Are you full?"

Oldcougar  (Level: 217.3 - Posts: 1935)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:59 AM

Ladyvol  (Level: 202.8 - Posts: 5433)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:00 PM

That made me laugh...I can just picture the guy...Aren't kids cute at that age even though they are ours? ROFL

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:07 PM

Okay, you're getting there. I love it when kids pop out with things like that. I am at least smiling now. Thanks everyone.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:09 PM

I finally got a vocab - bet max wager - largest ever and got it -- knowing how awesome you are Marsha I figured my joy would just jump over the Texas landscape and infect you

Zeedee  (Level: 222.1 - Posts: 1088)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:24 PM

When my son was about that age, he said to me one day, "Boy, I like your earrings!"
He was not one to usually notice my appearance, so I was surprised and said, "Oh, thanks!"
He said, "Yeah.....they look like.....bait."

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:28 PM

For reasons I won't get into, I "trained" my kids to walk on my back / rub my shoulders because I get really knotted up - several years ago (like 10) I had lost quite a bit weight I had been trying to for a long time - my daughter - who was the back walker at the time, had been asked by me to do her thing. She kept slipping off - and she said "You know Mommy - this was a lot easier job when you were fat"

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:32 PM

Congrats on your wager Lorri........I got one recently also. Makes you all warm and fuzzy.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:35 PM

Pennwoman  (Level: 151.8 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:57 PM

I raised my 3 kids alone, and they went everywhere with me -- the four of us, my youngest in a stroller went Christmas shopping and we popped into Victoria's Secret in search of PJ's for my best friend.
A saleswoman approached and was very helpful, but then suddenly, very clearly took a giant step AWAY from us ... I looked down just in time to see that my son had wrapped his arms around her leg and LICKED her.
Yes, my son licked a woman in Victoria's Secret.

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 12:59 PM

I can't do you tube at school. Big brother is alive and well. I will check it out when I get home however.

Salzypat  (Level: 154.3 - Posts: 5295)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 3:21 PM

Here's my contribution to your laugh for the day - but only if you are a baby boomer or older. Youngsters won't appreciate the humor.,0,1036393.blurb

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 3:53 PM

I don't know Pat, that might have been depressing.......LOL.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:31 PM

ROFLMAO -- we are getting ready for our 30th reunion next year - I'm the "tail end" of the boomers - but that link goes out with the next message!

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 7:32 PM

I did like the rendition of "Hey, Jude". I find it amazing that a child that young can sing that without prompting and I get 6th graders that can't read. That is just downright sad.

Aquamar  (Level: 176.8 - Posts: 904)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 8:05 PM

Almost every day at the same time my daughter who happened to be about three at the time would shout out "Budweiser." I kept trying to figure out where she heard that word seeing as how neither my husband or myself were beer drinkers. This went on for several months and one day she shouted "Budweiser" and I said where and she went to the window and pointed outside. I looked out the window and saw the school bus that happened to stop on our corner five days a week and my daughter again shouted "Budweiser" and then it hit me she was trying to say bus driver. My mother found that hilarious and sent it in to our local newspaper who promptly printed it under cute things kids say.


Mplaw51  (Level: 176.9 - Posts: 1582)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:33 PM

One day while riding in the car to pre-school, my son, now 22, said, "Richard is a little pussy." I thought to myself that I would kill his brothers but calmly asked Mike why he said that about Richard. He looked at me as though I had no brain and said, "He he pusses me around all the time!" "Oh, pushy", I said. "That's what I said", he told me in an angry voice. I couldn't wait until I dropped him off so I could laugh. He never thought it was funny when you laughed at his misarticulation and who could blame him? He sure came up with some funny stuff though.

He won't let me tell that story now. He's not amused at all!!! Richard remains what he was in preschool.....

Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:36 PM

I wasn't able to say truck as a kid, instead I used to yell out F*** everytime one went by, according to my mom who said it was deeply embarrasing.

Pennwoman  (Level: 151.8 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:42 PM

My son slept with me until he was 9, something he was mortified by as a teen. It was mostly due to the fact that evening I worked -- as a nurse which meant frequently, he had to share a bed, at grandmas. But it was also partly due to this....
One night when he was maybe 4, I heard him crawling into my bed, to which I said.
"Is that a big mouse climbing into bed with me?"
He said
"No, its your little sweetheart"
I completly melted.

Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 4:52 PM

OMG Lodi.. that kid even has great timing! lol

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 5:46 PM

True story...about my nephew....he is now 28 and would absolutely kill me for repeating this but I still laugh about it. Ben and I were keeping him when he was around 4. We were sitting around the table eating and talking and he popped out with..." Aunt Marsha, my Dad has a new dick." I looked at Ben and he looked at me and we both shrugged our shoulders. I then asked him, "What happened to his "old" dick?" He then said, "It just fell off." By this time Ben and I are about to bust a gut but we were good and did not laugh......then. After even more questioning.....we figured out that his parents had a new DECK. Whew!

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 5:54 PM

When I was a kid, I was always kind of a turd (hard to believe, I know). But I had this rotten pony who was even worse. I was only five years old and had him in halter class in the local horse show. Really, all you had to do was stand there. Which seemed to be impossible for Peter Pan. (Shut up, we all have stupid pet names once in a while). He was rearing up, going around in circles, trying to bite me, trying to bite the other horses, etc. I was the littlest kid out there but had the meanest horse. I also happened to be the one closest to the announcer. When I had finally had enough of my rotten pony, I yelled (over the loud speaker to all the crowd apparently) "YOU SON-OF-A B****!!!"

I didn't win a ribbon.

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