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Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 4:26 PM


What's the best/cheesiest/worst you've ever used or that has been used on you?

This one happened to me today - I'm walking up to an office building and this guy says to me, "You walk like a queen." Okay - that's a new one for me, but I'm thinking I do look really good today so I keep walking and am about to enter the building when he adds "You go girl, go chop someone's head off." What? I am no longer sure that this is a compliment at all - he said it in a flirty manner, but still.

Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 4:58 PM

In a bar, a man was celebrating the birth of his first child.
He walked up to me, beer in hand, and said
Wanna F***?
I declined.

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:06 PM

that didn't work?

Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:08 PM

Well, not the first time.

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:31 PM

I just laughed so much at your response above!

My response to that:~
"I guess you had to pick yourself up off the floor first, after swooning over his smooth style???"


Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:35 PM

Exactly -- I stood there with my mouth hanging open, my mind could not reconcile the info given! What a creep!

Another night after evening shift -- my girl friend and co-worker went out, -- two "gentlemen" approached us -- but got shot down, because Idiot #1's open line was --
"hey you two got jobs!"

take me now.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 5:38 PM

wow - recently? none - I'd have to think back 20 years on the other and after watching the aging boomers clip I am having flashbacks...however this was funny recently - not really a pick up line - but proof that boys hitting 14/15 can really only see boobs -- my son came home from a pack meeting really ticked off - one of his friends was singing life is a highway - I want to ride it all night long only he changed life to "your mom" --

I told Paul NOT to be upset - that he was welcome to defend my honor but assured him it was all about the boobs - because if he really looked at my face - he would see his mom and then things would get really creepy.

I still laugh about it though....

Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:03 PM

I also have a son named Paul.

Osuzannacollage  (Level: 132.1 - Posts: 1299)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:12 PM

This actually happened to me twice. Upon being asked to dine out: "Let me buy you dinner tonight. You gotta eat." Well, I may have to eat some time, but it was not to be that evening with either of them. I found it really insulting to be asked out in that manner -- as if I would ever accept a dinner invitation strictly for convenience.

The worst one, however, was actually during a job interview. After telling me that I was hired, the guy informed me that my new job was just a formality as he really wanted to marry me. It gave me the creeps big time. Needless to say, I scotched that particular employment opportunity.

Kaufman  (Level: 256.8 - Posts: 3936)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:19 PM

I've found that "Hello" usually sends the ladies fleeing into the night.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:23 PM

Lorri - I had the same situation with my oldest daughter's male friends. I'm only 18 years older than she is and when she was in junior high and high school, they sure did like to hang out at our house a lot. Even now, when they all come back into town, she said they always ask about her mom. I even had a couple of them give me drunken calls from the bar a couple of years ago. Apparently these boys don't quite understand the effects of gravity.

No pick up lines really stand out - I'm sure I've had a couple of doozies over the years. I remember one guy told me that he'd "wrecked his car looking at me." GAWD

I remember one law firm where I interviewed, the attorney for whom I would be working walked in, saw me sitting in the waiting area, came over, and made a grand gesture of taking my hand, bending over and kissing it. The entire place stopped and went silent. Awkward. At the Christmas party, the same guy got really drunk and his behavior & attention towards me was not appreciated by his wife. Or me. So I found a different place to work and on my last day, he actually grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me on the lips in front of everyone. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

It was always my husband (before we got married) that said things to me that really turned my head. A couple of things that stand out, that I will always remember: "I wish you could see yourself, in this light, as I see you." and "I like the way your hair lays down your back."

Oogie54  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1120)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:39 PM

One of the "cute" waffle-house waitresses told me once,"If I had one more tooth I'd nibble on you!"

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:41 PM

And how is Mrs. Oog these days?

Oogie54  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1120)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 6:47 PM

LOL She wuz shore purty nuff to marry-off, them there waffle-house gals.... yee-haw.....NOT. One of my favorite lines I've heard is to kick a girls chair out from under her and say"You wanna fight 'er f***?" Git 'er done

Mplaw51  (Level: 179.5 - Posts: 1582)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 7:14 PM

One fool once said to me, "My lips are chapped and the only cure would be to kiss you." I died laughing and asked him if he stayed up at night thinking this crap up. He sort of slunk away because I wasn't quiet about it. Jerk!!! Who falls for that sh**?

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 7:15 PM

Okay - I've thought through some that are "printable" from my time after "stock brokerage" to the non-ulcer inducing very fun job of bartending/waitressing "back in the day".

While staring at chest - not eyes "Will you marry me" (me - who ARE you?)

Song line stealer "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me" (not a chance - have you looked in the mirror?)

"I sure am looking forward to heaven" (me - why) "Cause when God made his first angel, it was you and so that would be great - seeing you all over the place" (huh? okay - your cut off - give me your keys)

Favorite line - worked - worked out for a long time - but alas - eventually ended
Guy lived down the street from my family - we rode the bus together to work (this is back in the stock brokerage days) - never really noticed him then. I left E.F. Hutton and went to another firm (which has since been gobbled up by another firm) - he was oil analyst there - (still didn't "know him") - as happens, I eventually went to another firm - in moving my office - a friend of mine and I went down to Greenville Ave - to have a couple of cocktails & food before getting back to the moving - We are sitting at a bar - and he's sitting there (still don't know who he is) - my friend gets peeved cause he's talking to me and leaves me (another story) - Now - I DID say we were moving - I was dressed in these awful cutoffs, no makeup - raggy t-shirt - really had NO business being seen in public whatsoever - I have no car / no transportation so I say I'm going to call a cab - he's like - eat with me - long story short - end of dinner - he looks at me and says "I'm smitten" - yeah - I did the swoon...still think about him from time to time - but oh well -

1mks  (Level: 210.9 - Posts: 5883)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 7:40 PM

Dang, I'm old...... ..........pick up line?...."You look like my mother?"

Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 8:21 PM

is that a keg in your pocket?

Cause, I'd really like to tap that ass"


Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 8:56 PM

That one would have got me knocked off my barstool.

Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:02 PM

Actually though, I told a lady back in '63 that I thought she had the prettiest eyes I had ever seen, (True). She is, at the moment, sitting about ten feet away. Still has those beautiful eyes.

Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:12 PM

What did he think was in the keg ?

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:21 PM

Don, you just gave me an "Awwwwwwwww" moment.

Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 9:23 PM


Embee  (Level: 86.7 - Posts: 362)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 10:18 PM

Pennwoman, I think that guy in the bar was my ex-husband.

Mplaw51  (Level: 179.5 - Posts: 1582)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 10:38 PM

It's surprising that guy with the keg comment is still alive or getting to sleep with a woman....

I don't recall ever using any lines. There must be some that we used to get men to pay some attention...
Anyone remember any? Has my memory become selective? Yikes! Am I getting too old to remember them?

Or did we just have to smile? Life was much simpler then wasn't it?

Tazmaniac72  (Level: 187.6 - Posts: 213)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:05 PM

I remember this from a Robin Williams stand-up..... "What's your name, Darlin'? F**koff!?!? Really, are you Russian??"

Lettermanfan1  (Level: 88.3 - Posts: 486)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:14 PM

I went to Rome with my boyfriend back in the 80s. I went downstairs in the hotel to find out where to go to buy cigarettes. The concierge said he wouldn't tell me where to go as the men would chase me down the street. He gave me a pack of his own cigarettes, kissed my hand and told me I looked like a young Grace Kelly. I nearly swooned! I would have left my boyfriend for this guy in a heartbeat if it had been realistic!
Alan Thicke hit on me at a party by telling me my laugh aroused him...said I sounded just like Dyan Cannon (I do have a good laugh - lol). That wasn't very impressive.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:25 PM

Oh god, I just remembered a guy who told me that he could guess my weight and all I had to do was sit on his lap and let him stick his tongue in my mouth.

I just threw up a little bit in my throat remembering that.

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:57 PM

and there's my "ewwwwwwwww" moment - thanks, Lodi.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 19th Aug '08 11:59 PM

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 12:00 AM

your new avatar is so you, Lodi!

Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 3:51 PM

I once had a guy, at the open house of a doctors office, tell me, he was the doctor -- sadly for him, it was the opening for my friend Chris -- short for Christine office -- he was so busted.

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 8:01 PM

In the 80's I belonged to a number of dancing clubs to which
we paid basically we met the same people
many times. One night I walked in with a girlfriend at about
11.30pm and a guy asked me too dance....
About 2minutes into the dance....He says "Your place or mine?"
I say "Neither" He says " Common Lady - you're too old to be
playing games and it's almost midnight!!!!"
If I had known the time - I should have realized how lucky I was
to be asked at all????

Alvandy  (Level: 229.4 - Posts: 7561)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 10:22 PM

First- here's a classic pick up line from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In.

Tyrone [The Dirty Old Man/ Arte Johnson] going up to Gladys Ormphby [Ruth Buzzi] on the park bench and saying.......

"Want a walnetto?" . Didn't work for him.

On a personal note: this was decades ago.

My wife [to be] used to frequently stop by the Rexall drug store in York where I was a soda jerk, and we became friendly. She liked the soda fountain's famous-- ice cream sodas; orange freezes; flavored Cokes; banana splits; sundaes ; Stewart Infra-red sandwiches, etc.

One evening - she ordered a CMP [chocolate;marshmallow;peanut] sundae- made with Dolly Madison ice cream and topped with delicious whipped cream and a sweet maraschino cherry.

Before she started eating it, she asked me if I would like her cherry.

Does that count as a pick up line?

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 10:45 PM

That's my new favorite Alvandy story - cute - and, obviously it worked. That was sweet, Al.

Foogs  (Level: 267.9 - Posts: 848)
Wed, 20th Aug '08 10:59 PM

Yes, Al, the truth can be told. That was a pickup line.
And even if it wasn't, you're a lucky man.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 12:10 AM

Donden & Alvandy are tied for the cutest - well - Donden for cutest and Alvandy for sexiest

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 12:26 AM

I'm still waiting for my first. But when I hear one, I'll be right here to share!

Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 2:21 AM

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can see myself in your pants...

How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

I'm Polish. Do you have any Polish in you? Would you like some?

That dress looks great on a matter of fact, so would I.

I have only three months to live. ..

Yes, Ladies and Germs, I have had all of these spouted at one point or another, but the Granddaddy of them all...

you want a burger and fries to go with that shake?

(Phitz cringes) uuuuuugggggghhhhhh

Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 4:46 AM

Um - one a friend used to use, with surprisingly little success:
"Hey! Wanna go halfers on a b@$t@rd?"

A true prince among men.

Alvandy  (Level: 229.4 - Posts: 7561)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 7:22 AM

Jank: "Tyrone" is heading your way.
You have a decision to make!

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 7:36 AM

Tyrone? I'll be counting the ...uh...years.

Here IS the best pickup line I can think of, though.

"Hey, gorgeous. I'm gonna do windows, vacuuming, mopping, dishes, laundry, and backrubs tonight. How'd you like those to be for YOU?"

I'd be melting like buttah.

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Thu, 21st Aug '08 11:06 AM

Anything that references being a pirate usually works for me.

Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Sat, 11th Oct '08 1:57 AM


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