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eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:16 PM

BEST REVENGE

Back in the day when I used to date, I had a particularly rotten breakup and so you know all those little post card sized things in magazines that says "sign me up for this" or send me more information on this?" Well, I found as many as I could and filled out his name and address. He got information on Indian Bible courses, vacuum cleaners, adult incontinence, balding, etc. I wonder how many times he was contacted by these people.

BWWWWAHAHAHAHAHA

Anybody else?

donleigh
Donleigh  (Level: 147.8 - Posts: 5087)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:28 PM

Having his credit card number, I ordered as much as I could one night from those infomercials - anything with a money back guarantee Ginsu knives, Kraftmatic bed (really!) I can't remember it all but it was fun.

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:29 PM

CRAP! You had to bring that up. It happened to me many years ago. My mailbox was full of "bill me later" books, gadgets, porn, etc. Found out eventually it was a local lounge lizard who I had some words with one afternoon during my daily refreshments. A real beast but she later got hers.

1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:30 PM

I married my exes' very best friend. They are no longer friends.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:32 PM

I can't tell you here, but I'll tell Lodi and she can tell you if I win.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 9:42 PM

My sister's ex boyfriend landed in jail in Athens, Ga. (small college town) and my sister sent him a postcard from the Keys and wrote "Bet you wish you were here!"

My story is not family friendly - sorry.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Mon, 25th Aug '08 10:06 PM

Years ago I used to know a woman who's husband
just couldn't "keep it in his pants"
So she used to "wash" his underwear in RAW BLEACH
and he was constantly worried about his "rashes"
Sounds fair to me....

1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 6:32 AM

I just remembered the supreme revenge that a friend of mine did a long time ago. She caught her husband fooling around. She then found out who the "other" woman was. Armed with lots of weed killer, she wrote "F*** You" in huge letters on the well manicured lawn of the "other" woman. I loved that one!

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:26 AM

My favorite was the wronged wife sewing tiny shrimp into the hem of drapes just before the ex-husband and girlfriend took possession of her home.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 8:41 AM

Oh yeah, I heard about that, except it wasn't in the hem of the drapes, it was shoved down inside the hollow curtain rod.

Here's one from someone I know. I worked for this high profile guy. I won't mention his profession or someone local would figure out who it is, in case someone local is on here. He and his wife lived out in the country in the mountains. After their two daughters were grown, she informed him that she had been having an affair for quite some time and was leaving him. He was shocked. After taking lots and lots of his money, she and her new boyfriend decided to build a house..........right below his so that when he stood out on his desk, he looked down on their deck, with their hot tub and all that.

Needless to say, he was furious. So while it was being built, and after the builders had long gone home for the night, he would sneak down and pee on the brand new carpet. In every room.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 9:23 AM

After divorcing my husband when he realized that he didnt want children (after 2nd child) - He promptly remarried another nurse, who was crazy jealous of anything to do with me.
Despite begging the doctors to do everything possible to delay the birth (if thats not crazy), until after midnight.
They had there second child on his and mine anniversary --
If only I could use my powers for good.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 10:21 AM

A fellow down the street actually bulldozed down exactly 1/2 of his house when his wife left ("It's half mine, right?")

Police said they couldn't stop him, as it was half his property after all.

1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 11:52 AM

One other thing my friend did. Had a tracer put on her husband's car. She followed "them" one night. They went to a cabin that he owned. S waited until she thought the little couple were in the throes of passion before she went into action. She had been to the grocery store that day and just stood outside and threw canned goods through every window. Ya gotta love it!

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 12:38 PM

I hope he let those cans sit awhile before he opened them.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 12:44 PM

Hopefully it was good stuff - not crap like garbanzo beans, stewed tomatoes, and baby corn.

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 2:24 PM

Maybe Molson's or MGD

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 2:26 PM

I viciously got happily married and had a beautiful baby daughter.
That'll teach her.

embee
Embee  (Level: 86.7 - Posts: 362)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 2:33 PM

My friends husband was being a real jerk to their son so she and her son decided to get back at him. They took every pair of underwear he owned, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 219.9 - Posts: 101)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 4:21 PM

I know someone who once used breast milk to lighten her husband's coffee when he was being particularly unreasonable.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 5:17 PM

I had a friend whose husband bought her a cemetery plot for her birthday. On his birthday she bought him a really nice sewing machine.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 6:39 PM

A cemetery plot????? I can't begin to tell you how incredibly pissed I would be over something like that.

papermanbill
Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:37 PM

FACT: Polish people in Chicago area have a picnic type affair at or near local cemetaries and pick their plots. This is done by people who are usually younger than 30. A cemetary plot is considered an investment and will appreciate in time. There is a joke that Polish people play a game to see who can die with the most money in the bank or in their mattress. Before you charge me with Polish prejudice, I am half Polish and can tell Polish jokes all night long.

snookerballs
Snookerballs  (Level: 37.9 - Posts: 35)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:44 PM

How many Polish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb ??

donleigh
Donleigh  (Level: 147.8 - Posts: 5087)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:49 PM

Are you two the same person? Bill, did you get a new name? Did someone steal your name?

debbie1957
Debbie1957  (Level: 45.7 - Posts: 402)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:54 PM

Bill is Snookerballs, you can find him as papermanbill or snookerballs.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 7:55 PM

Huh. I thought multiple accounts was a no-no.

snookerballs
Snookerballs  (Level: 37.9 - Posts: 35)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 8:01 PM

This account is for PMB's oldest son. "NO" cheating will be done, there are four computers in this house and all are separate and private. This is just a tryout for him to see if he wants to be a regular. I just paid $80.00 for my Platinum and I don't need any trouble.

kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 257.2 - Posts: 3936)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 8:27 PM

So Liam, are you saying that if Lodi were Eesuszbedjeszywicz, she'd appreciate a cemetery plot?

papermanbill
Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 8:51 PM

Ken, I'm just telling what I used to see. They would even brag about having a site with a shade tree.

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 10:24 PM


Loads of free condom samples and "lube"...

usually opened in the cafeteria were hilarity!

Then of course there was having mail redirected from someone's house (pick one) to the offender's mailbox...LMAO...

Ohm crap, there's no postal workers on this site? are there????



lettermanfan1
Lettermanfan1  (Level: 88.3 - Posts: 486)
Tue, 26th Aug '08 11:26 PM

My first husband was an abusive jerk who thought he was God's gift. I was lucky enough to get out alive. This was 26 years ago. Our son (now 30) tells me about his dad's new wife, who hits him and verbally abuses him and he just takes it. She has cut him off from all his family (including our son) and even threw a fit when he wanted to go to his own mother's funeral last month. I have to say, I find the irony to be.....just fabulous!
Leah

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 12:10 PM

Sometimes the best revenge is to just ignore people who are desperately seeking attention or just trying to provoke others.

1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 12:15 PM

Caught that did ya? bwahahahaa

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 12:27 PM

I'm your huckleberry.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 4:08 PM

You sure he's not your dingleberry?

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 4:55 PM

I wholeheartedly agree Lodi.. although sometimes it's too hard or compelling not to take action. One day at a time lol

smeans
Smeans  (Level: 109.2 - Posts: 301)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 5:01 PM

LOL A fellow from down the street came home and found his girlfriend in bed with her ex-husband. After throwing her out he took all her stuff and loaded it into his car and the proceeded to drive down the road here by the house (small country road) and throw all her belongings out the window of his car. Heavier items got chucked rather far over hillsides. He ame into work asking if we had seen all of T's things that morning and told us what had happened. I just had to shake my head....i thought just throwing them out on the lawn was bad....but throwing them out along about a 3 mile stretch of road.....LOL It took her forever to pick up her clothes and somethings I don't think she ever got back because they were thrown down over the hillside so far.

Another thing some parents of a friend of mine did when I was in high school was fill their mailbox with cement because kids kept driving by with baseball bats in the middle of the night and knocking the mailboxes off their posts down their road. After they woke up one morning to find a baseball bat laying in the road they never had that issue again. Can you imagine hanging out a car window, hitting mailboxes as you are going down the road and suddenly instead of a hollow one the buckles and comes off easily you get one that is solid..... OUCH!! It makes my hands and arms hurt just thinking about it.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 7:42 PM

That cement idea is genius!

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 8:52 PM

Back in the day I had a fellow worker (jerk) that liked to sneak up behind people and pop paper coffee cups with his foot. Because I usually had a slight hangover in the morning I was kind of jumpy to say the least. After a few weeks of this I took my empty cup and filled it with a fast setting grout mix and put it on the floor behind me. He came,,he popped,,,and sprained his ankle. No more problem.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Wed, 27th Aug '08 10:03 PM

Sitting here giggling. I love those kinds of stories where jerks get a taste of their own medicine.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 197.3 - Posts: 1302)
Thu, 28th Aug '08 12:59 AM

Back in my party days, I had a guy (my boyfriend's BFF) get pissed at me and grab me by the throat. Some friends pulled him off, kicked him out, boyfriend chose him over me, etc....

So a few weeks later the jerk comes into the restaurant where I worked and ordered a take-out fried chicken sandwich. I took his order and then, being upset, went to the kitchen to cool off. A good friend noticed my state and asked me what was up. I told him the story and he said, "I'll take care of him."

When the chicken was almost done, the kitchen called 2 minutes on it so the rest of the order could be prepared, but I noticed it took a lot longer than 2 minutes for that chicken to show up in the front. Found out later that the chicken had to have a potty break first. Seems my friend had dunked the chicken in a not-clean toilet. Gross, I know, but the jerk never came back in the restaurant.

smeans
Smeans  (Level: 109.2 - Posts: 301)
Fri, 29th Aug '08 7:55 PM

BWAHHHAAHAHA!!! Okay had to pass this little tidbit along, because I have laughed about it all day long. Today...was a vendor day....la la la...lots of vendors coming in delivering stuff. Well....there is one vendor that no one in our store likes at all, he's kind of a butt and is crooked and will try to scam you in anyway possible Well he came in and not long after he got there a beer vendor showed up This is one we all love because he is just a great guy all around. Beer vendor came in and overheard crooked vendor acting like a butt to us so on his way back out to the truck to start bringing loads in, he took a detour to the crooked vendor's van, which crooked vendor had left running with the air conditioner on while he was in the store. Beer vendor proceeded to crank the AC off and turn the heat up all the way. Keep in mind it's a fairly hot day anyway. It was all I could do not to fall over in the floor laughing when crooked vendor came in raising a stink about someone turning the heat on full blast in his van while he was in the store. The entire time he was going on about it.....beer vendor was standing behind him grinning like a cat that ate the canary, rubbing his fingernails against his shirt and pretending to blow them off and patting himself on the back. After crooked vendor finally left I fell out laughing my head off and then sang to the oh great beer vendor ~~~"Did you ever know that you're my HERO...."~~~

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Fri, 29th Aug '08 9:32 PM

Cute!

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 29th Aug '08 10:51 PM

We subscribed my high school principal to every sort of sick bestiality porn mag we could find. Paid for it too, cashiers checks or cash. Had them sent sent to school. Trickled them in all year,.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Fri, 29th Aug '08 11:11 PM

Love it!

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 219.9 - Posts: 101)
Sat, 30th Aug '08 5:33 AM

Up until last month I worked for a saccharine-sweet, spoiled-rotten, compulsive-obsessive dressage queen. Seven years. I'll admit I was impressed at first: brand-new state-of-the-art barn, indoor arena, fancy horses... she's an "r" judge. But. It didn't take me long to see the real person under the candied facade: a user whose first and foremost concern is for herself and her unrealistic goals (she rides like a mannequin)--I have seen her go through upper-level dressage horses like most people use paper towels. (They don't come, but leave with, the same problem: snatching her hands. "He pulls my back," she'll protest. And pout. Until down the lane he goes and along comes another bright and shiny object to replace him.)
My job was to better enable her enjoy being a pampered and petulant child. But. By and by, as I began to lose respect for her horsemanship, she became envious of mine, and tried to squelch every opportunity that came my way. I stayed because I loved the animals and the physical aspect of my job; that is, I stayed until she pulled her final little stunt (that's another installment) on July 30th. (Here I am delighted to tell you that August is the busiest month: clinics, shows [hosted at her barn], lessons, etc., not to mention the routine care of six horses...)
It is now August 30th, and I cannot help but notice that her ad is still in the newspaper. You guys know me well enough by now--do I have just the merest hint of a smug and malicious grin forming at the edges of my mouth? No?


lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Thu, 4th Sep '08 2:56 PM

OMG Ron.. that is wayyyy too funny!! thanks for posting :D

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Thu, 4th Sep '08 2:57 PM

Hysterical!

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 4th Sep '08 3:40 PM

I'm all ears

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Thu, 4th Sep '08 4:13 PM

That website is hysterical.

I was trying to get a wondering spouse (NOT my current one) jealous. I took a fancy dress and sloppily draped it across a chair, put some rose petals in the bed and threw the rest of the flowers in the kitchen trash, put an empty bottle of champagne in the bathroom trash can, put an open condom wrapper in the sink and smeared lipstick all over the pillows. Went to sleep.

Hubby came home and never said a word; however, he didn't stray for a couple of years.




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