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Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 10:48 AM


I am a confused, raised Methodist, who went to Catholic nursing school, who last attended a church service in a Mennonite church, who is the sole Republican (since my Dad died) in the county, who has voted a mix a mix of Independent, Republican and Democrat in the past several elections, who is beyond poor --- I can make a dollar weep tears, yet at the same time does not pretend to understand anything financial....
HA! I did it! In one sentence R/P/M -- religion, politics and money!
Ok, one, long, run on sentence....
That being said, it is a beautiful day here in southwest Pennsylvania, I am happy to be on the Island, I am happy in general for the first time in a long time.
Life is good!
But the grass mocks me -- off to mow!

Koota  (Level: 180.6 - Posts: 2097)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 11:07 AM

Thank Heavens that I don't have the money to be in politics!

See? All three subjects. Even shorter sentence.

Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 11:26 AM


Kaufman  (Level: 254.0 - Posts: 3936)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 11:34 AM

If you add the participle form of a certain Anglo-Saxonism in there somewhere, you can also get sex involved.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 12:28 PM

OK - how many of you have heard this:

A HS English professor assigned his class to write a short story that must contain religion, royalty, drama and suspense.

This student earned an A+:

"Oh my God!" cried the princess. "I'm pregnant! I wonder who's the father?"

Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 12:45 PM

Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 2:32 PM

Ok, its the Grass 1, Martina 0
I swear I am not cutting it again this year.
I accidently ripped the shroud off of the grass outlet, which means I am typing this covered in a fine sheen of chlorophyll and ground insects bits. Just to add to the fun, running over the few leaves that have falled, turned them into the equivalent of natures shrapnel and I have wee welts all over. You would think this was the end of my grass story, but then I discovered that the work recently done to resolve a wet spot in the yard was a massive failure and my going over it with the mower was like hitting the Everglades in an airboat.... I GIVE! The yard wins again! I am going to shower then do puzzles until my nerves have settled. Right after I make that phone call to have 2 acres of concrete poured.....

Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 2:40 PM

And it should read fallen, not falled... I forgot to mention the part where the mower died. ACK! I tighten thingies and peered at mysteious mower motor parts and pondered many deep thoughts.
And then I put more gas in it and VIOLA!

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 5:51 PM

Mowing? Do you really wanna go there?

Ok - I have a horror mowing story. Well, at least it was to me.

I'm kind of a hermit when it comes to mowing. I just want get it over with, with no interruptions and nobody watching - I have no art to it or straight pretty lines like a baseball field. I just go where I'm moved.

But this neighbor across the street whom I absolutely deplored seemed to want to come out every time I mow and stop and chat - he's offensive and suggestive for a 70s+ guy and I just don't want to deal with him.

I was out for my last mowing of the 2 acres before the sale and move. I start out and sure enough. What? Does he have my garage bugged? How the heck does he always know? There he comes out his garage. I like to start out in the front of the property in front of the fence, but I make a sharp left to go by one of the fences that subdivided the yard in back just to avoid him.

And immediately ran onto a cable my dad had on the fence that apparently the wind had blown down and I didn't know it, since I wasn't prepared to mow there yet. That cable wrapped up under both blades of that riding lawnmower and shut it down.

Now - I'm not the handiest with tools in this stage of my life, and there I am. Ruined lawnmower, 2 acres to go, the jerk coming over to talk.

I excape in the house and have choice words to say to myself because if I had just been patient to put up with him for a few minutes, my mower would still work.

Come late evening when it started to cool down (Texas August), I drag the thing onto the driveway, prop up one side best I can, and start to do my best to fight with the tightly wound cable. And it looks like after an hour I got it all!!! Woohoo. And I look up, and the dirty old man is there again! He starts telling me his wife had died (and I didn't even know it). And he talks till sunset. I feel all guilty for my feelings of anger, and when he leaves, I'm trying to figure out how to mow with the mower headlights on. I start to try. Nope - it won't start. And that was it. I ended up paying a neighbor to do the last mowing - more than what it would have cost to get mine fixed, but I was out of time.

And all that expense and trouble because I didn't want to talk to or see someone.

Just for the record, I was friends with this couple for awhile when I moved there. They were great friends to my mom and dad before they died. Then the wife had a stroke, and I rushed from school to the hospital. I told the husband, as I stood in her room, that if they need anything, ANYTHNG, to give me a call and I'd be there. The husband said those magic words that made me hate him from then on: "Well, then, you're in for a lot of romance tonight."

I was so furious with him that I never spoke to them again. Except for the day the lawnmower broke. I've never told anyone that story before. But to this day, though it's been fixed TWICE, that lawnmower won't work for more than half a yard till something quits working.

Mplaw51  (Level: 176.9 - Posts: 1582)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 5:53 PM

Having been raised a Catholic and attended 13 years of parochial school; the nuns taught us nice young ladies didn't discuss politics (actually I don't think having an opinion was a good idea) and making money was seriously frowned upon since we would be raising all those children who were conceived by the rhythm method.
Though to be honest that sentiment was expressed with, "if you speak to boys and hold their hands, you'll end up in one of 'those' places". That would be a home for unwed mothers.

Pennwoman  (Level: 152.3 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 10:16 PM

OH WOW Jank, that is a mowing horror story! Yikes

I was very innocent when I went to nursing school -- I had no experience with anything Catholic -- so I was I completely taken aback when I saw Father Friday, smoking before class --- I figured if you weren't allowed to have sex, you couldn't smoke either...
And speaking of holding hands, I could not believe that I was the voice of reason, once when a girl friend, came home hysterical from a date with her long time boyfriend --- she had lay next to him on her bed at home, in her underwear -- she was convinced she was pregnant.....

The reason I was shocked at being the voice of reason was that until I attended nursing school, I had never heard the word penis, out loud -- I thought it was pronounced "pen" (like the writing instrument) "is" -- and here I was explaining to the nice Catholic girl, how you made babies. Oh to be that young again.

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Sun, 5th Oct '08 10:42 PM

At first I was wondering what kind of grass you were having with your martini....
Know what you mean about what happened in the Hospital room. Hate men
who are so disrespectful of their wives....

Bobbsey  (Level: 153.0 - Posts: 252)
Mon, 6th Oct '08 3:46 AM

the memories of being young and innocent, at 14 i was told that if you have sex standing up, you couldnt get pregnant, this from a very experienced 15 yr old. the year, didnt worry me, as you had to be married to have sex, and hey, i was still a child. but ive never forgotten that piece of advice, sort of practiced it a bit too..didnt fall pregnant, but hurt my back, lol

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