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kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 8:28 PM

MARKET TURMOIL & WHAT TO WATCH FOR


With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of
Lehman Bros and the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of
America this might be some good advice.

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next
expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor
and make some BIG bucks.


Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W R. Grace Co.


Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join
forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota
Mining will merge
and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and
become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will
become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women
will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally...

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the
new name:
TittyTittyBangBang

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 8:31 PM

ok.. so how do I spread my immense fortune around to invest in them all and have a diverse portfolio???.. hhmmmm sooo hard to choose

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 9:37 PM

Thanks for sharing that, Kaelin - I'm sure everyone could use a good laugh right about now!

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 9:51 PM

WTG Lorri....
That could have made a really interesting
funny and challenging Word Puzzle....

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 10:27 PM

Kaelin, was it you who used to be a Stockbroker
and maybe you could give everyone here some tips

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 10:48 PM

I thought the obvious wisdom is to "Buy low. Sell high."

If I had cash, I'd buy every GM share I could get my hands on today.

I don't understand people watching the value of their stocks fall so low and cashing out. The one thing that has proven absolute: the stock market ALWAYS recovers and goes higher. Low is not the time to sell. Low is the time to buy and hold on to what you have while it recovers (well, I guess if you bought wisely in the first place).

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.0 - Posts: 2301)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 10:58 PM

That is the cutest thing I've seen in a long while. Considering our 401(k) has gone to hell in a handbasket and at some point in my life I would like to retire, I'm terrified.

God bless American and God help us all.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 11:03 PM

Beth, I pray both you and Lorri (and untold numbers of others) will be sighing in relief in a few months as the market recovers. I know imminent retirees are going to be among the most frightened and worried of us all.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.3 - Posts: 5315)
Thu, 9th Oct '08 11:15 PM

You got that right, Jank. With my 70th birthday approaching and no job, and having watched my meager 401k plummet, I don't have 4 or 5 years to wait for the market to recover. I am darned concerned about my future. But I have faith and I know that if I do MY part in the deal, God will provide the means.


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