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pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Sun, 26th Oct '08 11:40 AM

GROAN, THE SEQUEL

Ten worst Halloween jokes


10. What do you get if your cross a vampire with Al Capone?
A fangster!


9. Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize
for the best costume at the Halloween party?

Because he just came to pick up his sister!


8. What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?

I don't know, but it would slow him down!


7. Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door!


6. Was Dracula ever married?

No, he was a bat-chelor!

5. What do you call a motor bike belonging to a witch?

A broooooooom stick!


4. What do you get when you divide the circumference
of your jack-o-latern by it's diameter?

Pumpkin Pi!


3. Who brings monsters their babies?

A Frankenstork!

2. What do ghosts eat for breakfast?

Dreaded Wheat!


1. How do you make a milkshake?

Sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell, "BOO!"
























































apinavl
Apinavl  (Level: 37.5 - Posts: 59)
Sun, 26th Oct '08 12:28 PM

Owwww.....these are painful



chyenn
Chyenn  (Level: 202.6 - Posts: 1332)
Sun, 26th Oct '08 3:18 PM

definitely a 10 on the groan factor!

bushyfox
Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Sun, 26th Oct '08 3:52 PM

Fangs for those'uns......I mights just go and inflict 'em on someone else.

~Bev



pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 27th Oct '08 11:23 AM

10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...

1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it


pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 27th Oct '08 11:57 AM

Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.

2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.

3. One usually makes a better pie.

4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.

6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.

7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.

8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.



pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 27th Oct '08 1:57 PM

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A HALLOWEENAHOLIC WHEN ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the theme for THIS year is.

you find yourself thinking that one corpse is more attractive than another.

you get more excited over a fog machine than a dirty movie.

you have more help at your haunt than necessary for an old-fashioned barn raising.

you have more than ten sound effect CD's.

you have names for the skeletons in your closet.

you play spooky music all year round.

you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse's birthday, Christmas or anniversary.

you try to make Fido look like a hellhound every Halloween.

your neighbors avoid you a full month before Halloween.

your garage, basement and attic contain nothing but Halloween props.

the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif.

there is a monster under your bed because your attic/basement/garage is full.

your electric bill higher in October than in December.

the family dog ignores masked individuals breaking into your house.

instead of giving your child a cat or dog, you give them a gargoyle to play with.

the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store sees you coming and starts stacking gallon cans of flat black on the counter.

you go to "Goth Night" at a local club, armed with a pocketful of "volunteer recruitment" flyers.

you can't watch a horror movie without jotting down ideas every two minutes.

you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be developed, for fear the police might show up at your house looking for the corpses.

you have a room in your house reserved for special props/projects, and won't allow anyone in there because it'll "spoil the Halloween surprise!"

people refuse to walk into your house at night.

people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!

you have a customized license plate that has something to do with Halloween.

you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August...

you judge homes by how well a haunt could be set up in them.

your toddler's first words are "TRICK OR TREAT!"

it's not uncommon to see a "Barbie" doll hanging in a noose in you're daughters room.

your teenager wants his/her "own" coffin....




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