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kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Mon, 10th Nov '08 10:27 PM

CHUCK NORRIS

I had read an open letter that Chuck Norris wrote to President-elect Obama earlier and thought about doing a quiz on Chuck Norris as it's been months since I've done any quizzes.

My kids love him - my 14 year old son just bought this awesome poster on him -- and this was one of the google pages that were returned...we are all still laughing - hope it makes you laugh too

http://www.nochucknorris.com/

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Mon, 10th Nov '08 10:46 PM

That's hysterical! I've never seen that before.

(Who says those Google geeks don't have a sense of humor)

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Mon, 10th Nov '08 10:47 PM

Oops. Just checked the URL. Had me fooled!

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Mon, 10th Nov '08 10:56 PM

Actually, if you do a google search and put in Chuck Norris and then enter under "I feel lucky" the same thing will come up - pretty clever. My son and his friends love all those Chuck Norris jokes too!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Mon, 10th Nov '08 11:02 PM

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. (one of my son's favorites)

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 197.3 - Posts: 1302)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 12:28 AM

Those always crack me up! Thanks.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 2:48 AM

These were new ones I'd not heard before - very funny. Thanks for the chuckles

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 4:49 AM

Hadn't seen that either! Thanks for posting!

And these are some of my favourites -

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.

P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

"The road less traveled" is less traveled because Chuck Norris lives on it.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris and Mr T once travelled back in time. Chuck roundhouse kicked Mr T, but Mr T blocked it. The result was the Big Bang.

maurlin
Maurlin  (Level: 213.4 - Posts: 2671)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 6:22 AM

OMG...I never knew there were all those Chuck Norris lines. They're hysterical. My mother loved the Walker series. I even taped a bunch of ther shows so she could watcvh them while she was in a nursing home. I just found some more of those lines:

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 257.1 - Posts: 3936)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 6:30 AM

Best. Hockey. Defenseman. Ever.

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 6:55 AM

They should name a trophy after him or something!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 11th Nov '08 7:09 AM

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take crap from anybody.

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.


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