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pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Sat, 29th Nov '08 10:21 AM

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A GRINCH

How to Tell if You're a Grinch
You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)
After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.


papermanbill
Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Sat, 29th Nov '08 1:14 PM

I hated the holidays, even as a kid. Baaaaaah Humbug !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wordster
Wordster  (Level: 159.8 - Posts: 911)
Sun, 30th Nov '08 6:20 AM

Very amusing but I'm too much of a goody goody to even achieve cheeseball status. By the way what if you scoree more than 100?

btsyshsbnd
Btsyshsbnd  (Level: 73.3 - Posts: 61)
Sun, 30th Nov '08 10:36 AM

it's not just people from southern cal. that decorate their cars, I've seen cars with big red ribbons on the gril in Va. and IL. and I've seen a guy with IN plates with a string of working Christmas lights on his front and rear bumpers.

flcyclist
Flcyclist  (Level: 124.7 - Posts: 691)
Sun, 30th Nov '08 6:34 PM

Does being Buddhist count? My concession to Christmas consists of two large red bows on my front double doors!

quackinator
Quackinator  (Level: 168.2 - Posts: 151)
Sun, 30th Nov '08 6:48 PM

This is one test on which I am proud to get a zero.


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