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pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 11th Dec '08 2:01 PM

I JUST CANT HELP MYSELF

One Christmas, Joe and Peter built a skating rink in the middle of a field. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side.

'Look at that, 'remarked Peter to Joe, 'That guy is trying to pull the wool over our ice!'

~~~~

What is the purpose of reindeer?

It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

~~~
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up and asked, 'Did you get my drift?'

~~~
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
~~~
It was the day of the big pre-Christmas Sale. Rumours of the sale of cheap booze, with some advertising in the local paper, were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30am, the store's opening time, in the store car park.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful and bawdy curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he shouted to the people at the end of the line.

'That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!'





alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.5 - Posts: 7564)
Thu, 11th Dec '08 2:11 PM

What!!!

Rudolph, Blitzen. Donner ,etc. weren't studs?
What was that appendage hanging below.............. oh forget it.



Say it ain't so.



salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.4 - Posts: 5316)
Thu, 11th Dec '08 6:47 PM

Pennwoman, where do you get all these funny jokes? Wish I could remember just one or two of them to repeat.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Fri, 12th Dec '08 10:31 AM

I was looking for advent calendars this time! The internet is a wonderful thing, especially for useless info!


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