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jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Sun, 14th Dec '08 9:27 PM

CHRISTMAS RIDDLE GROANERS

1. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad

2. Why was Santa's helper down in the dumps?
Because he had low elf esteem

3. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?
Because every buck is dear to him

4. Where do polar bears vote?
At the North Poll

5. What do you get when you cross an archer with a Christmas gift-wrapper?||
Ribbon Hood

6. What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
"All right everyone, it's sack time!"

7. Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log

8. How would you fire Santa?
Give him the sack

9. What did one of Santa's elves put on the internet?
A gnome page

10. What do they eat for breakfast at the North Pole?
Snow flakes

11. What nationality is Santa?
North Polish

12. What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive?
A Holly Davidson

13. It is midnight. Santa is making his rounds and appears to be a little behind schedule. As his sled flies over London he looks down at Big Ben and notices that the big hand is on the 5 and the little hand is on the 2. What time is it?

As stated, it is midnight. There must be something wrong with the clock.

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.4 - Posts: 7561)
Sun, 14th Dec '08 10:27 PM

Some very funny riddles/ groaners.

Jank has started us down the path of Noel humor. I'll add these:

Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can hoe hoe hoe! [of course]

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite


And finally [hearing deafening applause?]
Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has NO L [Noel]
a recent word puzzle should have helped you figure that one out.








jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Sun, 14th Dec '08 11:19 PM

That was a pity response if ever I saw one, Al. But...nice try. (jk )

surreyman
Surreyman  (Level: 260.7 - Posts: 2770)
Mon, 15th Dec '08 7:27 AM

“Hey, I’ve got some great Christmas jokes - these’ll sleigh you!”

“Not the one about Santa’s elves being subordinate Clauses, is it?”

“Did you hear that Santa’s up for the Noel Prize?”

“I know he gets Claustrophobic going down chimneys - but he says he still does it ‘cos it soots him. The surgery said he’ll be OK this year though - he’s had his flue jab.”

“My kid helps Santa get back up the chimney by leaving a ladder in the stocking.”

“Hey Fred - why d’you build your snowman in the middle of your pond?”
“Cos snowman is an island!”

“They told me to go to Rudy’s shop in the High Street to buy a brolly.”
“Why Rudy’s? He’s a bookshop?”
“Well, they said that Rudolph the Read knows rain gear.”

“I just got fined for Christmas shopping too early.”
“You can’t get fined for that - how early were you?”
“About 2 a.m.”

“Wenceslas.”
“Waddya mean, ‘Wenceslas’?”
“Wenceslas train home?”

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.4 - Posts: 7561)
Mon, 15th Dec '08 10:28 AM

Surreyman has helped people forget my really bad groaners.

Thanks Alan!

[Despite Jank's approval- nope- not gonna add any more groaners here]
My next word puzzle is coming soon- need all the good will I can gather.

Al


btsyshsbnd
Btsyshsbnd  (Level: 73.3 - Posts: 61)
Mon, 15th Dec '08 1:20 PM

why'd the cat go to the beach? He wanted to see sandy claws


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