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Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 4:56 AM


Hey folks, we have only a few days left in which to catch those haggae.

This year they're proving far too canny to capture. The normal huntin' & shootin' jest ain't working.
Plenty of neeps waiting on the plates, but no haggae.

We've tried a few unconventional methods ...
... Baiting a 100 ft. pit with strawberry jam
... Importing and training midget kangaroos to round 'em up
... Combining alpenhorns with bagpipes and Big Ben to render unconscious
... Linking arms in a 200 mile chain and walking south from Scotland to drive 'em in
... but all to no avail.

All urgent further ideas now needed please!

Oldcougar  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 1935)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 5:15 AM

I've hear putting Glè Mhath (AKA Glayva) on their tails works

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 6:20 AM

For certain check in with the folks in Rhinelander, Wisconsin.

If a haggis is like a hodag, they have the answer.

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2475)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 8:10 AM

everything you could ever want to know about the elusive Haggae can be found at the Haggisclopedia

note, there are 13 parts.

Should you spot the haggis

a neep is a turnip

The internet is a wonderful thing!

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 8:15 AM

The Rhinelanders ain't in our league at all, they haven't captured one since the 19th. century, we catch and eat haggae every year (until this year).
We're currently now trying photos of hodags on each mountain peak in Norfolk - if haggae come to try and mate, we'll 'av 'em!

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2475)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 8:18 AM

No worrys, you still have 3 days, I know you can do it!

Dizzy  (Level: 180.7 - Posts: 296)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 11:10 AM

Alans only got 2 days - Burns night is 25th Jan - our haggis is caught and being prepared for Sunday night. Don't use turnips as mashed swede (vegetable kind is best) tastes better

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 11:44 AM

But Dizzy's was found in a supermarket, into which it had stupidly hopped, already tied up waiting to be caught.
Doesn't count!

Seniorrita  (Level: 140.1 - Posts: 223)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 11:57 AM

I use peanut butter for EVERYTHING. . . try it!

Allena  (Level: 268.7 - Posts: 1424)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 1:21 PM

Blame global warming. The Haggae did not buy any carbon off-sets and their methane is too hard on the environment. We need a Kyoto Protocol for the Haggae. You guys from Wales have too many.

There are not enough to go around and since you've been hogging the haggae, the United Nations had to step in. I do think the season is too long and you should be required to turn in you haggae fire arms. Moreover, according to the UN, a Weir ling champion should be limited to Quoits when hunting haggae.

1mks  (Level: 221.1 - Posts: 5930)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 1:48 PM

Ben is leaving for London next week.........I am hoping that he will be able to capture one. I honestly like haggis. AND believe it or not there are some blood puddings that I find delightful. I haven't found any stateside that is worth eating however. It needs to come from the old country to be authentic.

Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 1:49 PM

As if a sassenach could catchit yon Haggis beastie...

Any Scotsman would tell ye they need guddling.

(Which is why ye'd nivir caucht nocht but a calde! )

Anyhoo, if any of you are piping in the sonsie face of a haggis this Sunday, try this instead of neeps & tatties:

And - to get into the spirit -

O MY Luve 's like a red, red rose
That 's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve 's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune!

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile.

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 3:47 PM

I just tried singing that in a true Glasgee accent, but not a haggis flew past.
Maybe we need a rose by another name?
By the way, Allena, like Welsh whisky, Welsh haggis is also rather infra dig, old chap. Much the tasteless variety.
Oh Gawd - maybe it's my Welsh accent that's causing this haggis scarcity - you didn't warn them did you!!
Hmmmmmm .........
"Oh Land of my haggis,
Oh land of the ...........................................
Lava bread! That's it! We'll try baiting with lava bread!

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 4:12 PM

That explains it then.

The tasteful haggae have gone to Scotland.

The tasteless Welsh haggae just died off.

Natural selection according to Darwin.

Allena  (Level: 268.7 - Posts: 1424)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 4:46 PM

Now ye be talkin' bout the Scots. Need I say mor

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o 'fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

Garrybl  (Level: 294.3 - Posts: 6808)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 5:01 PM

The Texas school system has deleted reference to Darwinian theory of Welsh/Scots haggises.
Its Intelligent Haggis Design not Creationism apparently.
Apparently the haggis skeletons might all have come from the last 4000 years.

1mks  (Level: 221.1 - Posts: 5930)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 5:09 PM

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 5:19 PM

That's funny, Garry.

BTW, Alan, what is the season limit on haggae?

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2475)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 5:57 PM

after reading about it, one seems plenty!

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Fri, 23rd Jan '09 6:01 PM

Martina, is it?, Haggis is much better than it sounds. Nicely spiced.

I prefer it to the Catalan blood sausages here in SW France.

BTW I'd like to know in advance if you are going to be tolerable if the Steelers win yet another Super Bowl.

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Sat, 24th Jan '09 6:16 AM

Oh these Americanisms - "hagises" for Gawd's sake ..........
The haggae hunting season ends as soon as the pipes start wailing around 8p.m. tomorrow (Sunday).
Emergency measures now needed.
The great chieftain o' the puddin'-race is hiding out there somewhere (Dizzy's supermarket version has now been proven as a 16-year-old version dug up dead and since frozen - the best of luck to him!)..
Latest rumours suggest sightings on far away Eigg, Flotta, Hirta and Hoy.
Expeditions now despatched to each with nets, baits, recorded mating calls and one nuclear device. McSweeny's party is reckoned to have the best chances.
Ample supplies of Ardbeg now installed ready for the celebrations of success.
Fast-growing neep seeds just planted.
Monday has been declared a National Hangover Day in our village. Hangover survival techniques practiced last night but not yet working.
Regular updates might therefore be delayed a little this morning.

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Sat, 24th Jan '09 7:09 AM

Bonnes fetes au pays de Galles, Alan!

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Sat, 24th Jan '09 9:40 AM

Iach y dda!

Allena  (Level: 268.7 - Posts: 1424)
Sat, 24th Jan '09 1:23 PM

A toast to Shortie the Jack Russell. Sèamhas Surreyman. Sip the Ardbeg, anyway

Kaufman  (Level: 270.0 - Posts: 3941)
Sat, 24th Jan '09 3:32 PM

Of course in their original appearance in the book of Exodus, the plural is written "haggadah" ...

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Sun, 25th Jan '09 5:47 AM

‘Tis ten past thirteen on the peak of Loch Ness
But the fire’s so cold we couldn’t care less.
Sploofuses we’ve seen flying high in the sea,
The hodags have gone to their cave in the tree.

Nessie then passed chased by twenty-two bigfeet,
With yeti on high paddling fast in the chill heat.
Unicorns galore were mating with phoenix
While dodos and krakens gathered to take pics.

But of the haggae not an earloop appeared
Nary a toe root nor even its beard.
Dizzy was right, ‘tis so easier by far
Just go to the shops, load some (with Scotch) in the car!.

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Sun, 25th Jan '09 4:00 PM

Way, way too much partying up there, Alan.

You created a whirlwind that did enormous damage on the Atlantic coast of France (60% of the trees in the department of Landes are down). When the winds got over here on the Mediterranean side it knocked out power for most of Saturday and Sunday. I essentially had a lost weekend.

Please have a little more consideration for your European neighbors next year.

Thank you!

Surreyman  (Level: 274.7 - Posts: 2776)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 5:04 AM

Well, we have some refugee friends with us currently - not from the storm but from the present cold nights apparently. Thought you ex-pats lived down there for the pleasant winters!
Where are you actually? Suspect somewhere near one of my favourite small towns, Aigues Mortes?

Collioure  (Level: 115.4 - Posts: 9952)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 6:34 AM

No, I am much further west and south, about 12km west of Collioure, a gorgeous charming little port and home to Fauvism (Matisse). If I look up I see the antenna on the Spanish border 3km away.

This has been an unusually hard winter - colder than usual (no global warming here this year!), two significant snows and then the Haggis party induced storm which may give us rolling blackouts until Friday.


Bobbsey  (Level: 158.8 - Posts: 251)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 7:08 AM

thanks lare, i have been playing hit the haggis on that website youj posted, and i scored 21, now im dizzy, and i have had haggis, my sister cooks it. its not bad. but i like tripe too.

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