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smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 9:29 AM

CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT REGARDING PLATINUM SPLOOFUS MEMBERSHIP


well......I know *I* didn't get my prestigious "Platinum Sploofus Membership Card" seductively dangled in their diabolically bewitching marketing effort....

So you can just call me "Gold Smaug" from now on.

Wait..."Mr. Gold Smaug"....

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 9:45 AM

Did you at least get invited to the poolside party for platinums with celebrities like Scott Bayo and Leif Garret? Or the a$$less chaps with the sploofus logo embrodiery that most of the editors wear around the house? Those must be reasons to stay Platinum!! Reconsider Gold Smaug! Er, Mr. Gold Smaug...

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 9:57 AM

I got a card. You didn't get a card? It's gorgeous.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 10:12 AM

Leif Garret?.......

I LOVE Leif Garret....

I missed him AGAIN? This is like the whole Celebrity Cruise nightmare all over again....

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 10:18 AM

Would pay good cash money upfront to see Smaug in assless chaps. $20 and 100's even.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 12:15 PM

Upfront? Is that a time or a place?

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 12:38 PM


Sure, just visit:

www.smauginasslesschaps.org

It's a division of Make-a-Wish.

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 12:51 PM

Something's wrong - it's not coming up.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:02 PM

Hmmm it came up for me, but just for a second --- site loaded then the song "its raining men" came through but then crashed.

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:04 PM

Story of my life - only comes up for a second.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:06 PM

No doubt the story of Smaug's life too

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:17 PM

Looks like he was wearing a loincloth instead of the chaps....my eyes are burning, lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi2t58CRmbU

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:21 PM

In other words don't type in the website guys, all you'll get is that video....

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:23 PM

Smaug's the one with all the piercings, I hope I can still sleep tonight.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 1:30 PM

LMAO!! Its so much fun to be part of something so very wrong!

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.2 - Posts: 1025)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 3:26 PM

Have a Gold Smaug,
Mr Eggroll...

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 3:29 PM

What was this thread about again? Smaug's downgrading from Platinum? lol.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 5:32 PM

I'm tired of this abuse.






I want different abuse.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.2 - Posts: 1025)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 5:49 PM

If you want something done right, you just have to do it yourself.

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 5:50 PM



jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 5:52 PM

Well, we obviously see where Smaug has chosen to reroute that extra $$$....

Makeover.



(You might have grounds to sue for some of your money back, dude. We'll all testify on your behalf. Nothing worse than bad implants.)

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 7:44 PM

Hey, don't judge me. If I want to prance around in assless leather chaps in the privacy of my candlelit safe room doing my special interpretative Lord of the Dance vignette enjoying the Best of Steisand show tunes while my trained pink-dyed poodle accompanies me with a ch-cha on her hind legs and apoclayptic black and white Nazi propaganda films are projected on the ceiling and.....




.....wait a minute, what was my point?

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 7:47 PM

Such a tease.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 8:40 PM

Way to butch up your image dude!

oldcougar
Oldcougar  (Level: 220.4 - Posts: 1935)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 8:58 PM

I'm gonna have nightmares again

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 9:35 PM

Oh God, now I have the image of that creepy guy from "Silence of the Lambs" in my head - you know - the one that liked to wear women - ewwww! That last post from Smaug went from sexy to nauseating in seconds - I think it was the poodle that done me in. I think I need a drink. Or a lobotomy.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.5 - Posts: 1582)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 10:10 PM

comic relief...we've been needing some

good call, Smaug



bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Mon, 26th Jan '09 11:01 PM

Dance, dance, wherever you will be.
Smaug is the Lord of the dance, said he.
And he'll lead us all in into infamy said he;
and he'll lead us all in the dance said he.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Tue, 27th Jan '09 1:10 AM

Hey, I have some tickets to Smaug's midnight shows on Friday and Saturday. Anyone interested?

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Tue, 27th Jan '09 5:28 AM

"Infamy?" said Smaug seductively, "They've all got it infamy!"









(c) Kenneth Williams Estate, 1964

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Tue, 27th Jan '09 6:24 AM

I'll bring the toast, the newspaper, and the Bic lighter.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.7 - Posts: 2301)
Tue, 27th Jan '09 1:15 PM

I'll bring the cards and squirt guns

bobbsey
Bobbsey  (Level: 153.6 - Posts: 252)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 6:04 AM

you dye your dog, thats animal cruelty, shame on you

bobbsey
Bobbsey  (Level: 153.6 - Posts: 252)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 6:06 AM

how did it get from lawsuits to dog dye, and all things in between, please explain

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 11:27 AM

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again...

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 11:38 AM

I swear I just saw a fly on Gandalf's nose.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 9:50 PM

You know.....you people twist my clean, virtuous lifestyle into something filthy and tawdry.

That's hot.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 9:51 PM

In his best Paris Hilton voice

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 10:00 PM

Clean and virtuous are highly overrated.

sandracam
Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Thu, 29th Jan '09 7:45 AM

Knerd, re your avatar, exactly what is locked up?

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Thu, 29th Jan '09 11:31 AM

pm Sandy.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Sat, 31st Jan '09 9:43 PM

Guess #1....It's the lock on her C******Y Belt
[This is WTHII - "What the Heck is it" - isn't it????]

eileeny
Eileeny  (Level: 67.6 - Posts: 240)
Sun, 1st Feb '09 12:54 AM

As an animal rights activist I have to say that it just aint right that you died your poodle pink and made it watch you in assless chaps?? sheesh smaug u scrapin da bottom of da barrel here ...........but as usual for you I am killing myself laughing at ya...!!!

eileeny
Eileeny  (Level: 67.6 - Posts: 240)
Sun, 1st Feb '09 12:55 AM

OOPS miss spell that would be dyed ya poodle pink hehe...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 2nd Feb '09 1:35 PM

You are correct, but it was actually, my life partner, Thor the Dwarf, that dyed Mr. Sprinkles pink.

Thor will be thoroughly disciplined for that tonight. Oh, yes he will.....

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Mon, 2nd Feb '09 2:20 PM

You seem a little over eager - didn't know you were into s & m, Smaug! Actually, thinking back on all your previous posts I should have known.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Sun, 8th Feb '09 9:14 PM

Nobody is into S&M.

It's one or the other.

uh-duh.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1141)
Sun, 8th Feb '09 9:20 PM

You are clearly the expert in these matters.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Tue, 10th Feb '09 6:31 PM


Hey, compared to the next guy, I haven't had any more or less safe words than average...


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