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Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 2:25 PM


Late Show Top Ten Ways Rod Blagojevich Can Improve His Image

10. Star in new television series, "America's Funniest Haircuts"
9. Quit politics and become a fat, lovable mall cop
8. Start pronouncing last name with Jerry Lewis-like "BLAGOOOOYYYYYJEVICH"
7. Offer a Senate seat with no money down, zero percent interest
6. Team up with John Malkovich and Erin Brockovich for hot Malkovich-Brockovich-Blagojevich sex tape
5. Change his name to Barod Obamavich
4. Safely land an Airbus on the Hudson River
3. I don't know . . . how about showing up for his impeachment trial?
2. Wear sexy dresses, high heels, and say, "You Betcha!" a lot
1. Uhhh . . . resign?

● Cold outside today. They say the stringent weather is coming off of a cold front between Gov. Paterson and Caroline Kennedy.

● So cold, the Statue of Liberty was holding up a space heater.

● So cold, out West, Illinois Gov. Blagojevich was trying to sell a Senate seatwarmer.

Late Night with Conan O'Brien

● Blagojevich is being criticized because he recently compared his experience to that of Nelson Mandela. Which may be a stretch — but at least he got the prison part right.

● Earlier today, the world’s top economic advisors gathered at a luxury ski resort in Switzerland to find a solution to the global financial crisis. So far the best idea is to stop traveling to luxury ski resorts in Switzerland.

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2475)
Wed, 28th Jan '09 2:50 PM

Good stuff!

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