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pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 5th Feb '09 8:43 AM

THEATRE JOKE

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, ''I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.''

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, ''Follow me.'' The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.

''Thanks so much,'' says the theatergoer, ''This seat is perfect.'' He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, ''The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.''


sandracam
Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Thu, 5th Feb '09 8:55 AM

Hah! Good tidings the miser!

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 5th Feb '09 9:14 AM

Needs a push
A man and his wife are awakened at three o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring outside!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.

"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?" "I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 161.0 - Posts: 2301)
Thu, 5th Feb '09 12:40 PM

Pennwoman:

Usually a just hate jokes, but that is actually funny!!

sandracam
Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Thu, 5th Feb '09 2:27 PM

Bbear, you hate jokes?


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