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1mks
1mks  (Level: 210.8 - Posts: 5883)
Mon, 9th Feb '09 11:40 AM

RECENT STUDIES SAY WE NEED 12 LAUGHS A DAY JUST TO STAY HEALTHY!

Here are your 12 laughs for today. I should have saved them for a word puzzle!

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.
-Will Kommen
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
-Dean Martin
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
-Calvin Trillin
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
-Rita Rudner
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
-Wendy Liebman
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again.
-Joan Rivers
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-Henny Youngman
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
-Bob Thaves
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
-Ben Franklin
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
-Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays.
-Joey Bishop


pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 154.7 - Posts: 2478)
Mon, 9th Feb '09 1:52 PM

those were a hoot! Thank you!

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 9th Feb '09 5:41 PM

Hey, I have the Rodney Dangerfield one on my profile! I love the cupcake one....thanks Marsha.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Mon, 9th Feb '09 9:40 PM

I love them all, but especially the "napping" husbands.

mistymented1
Mistymented1  (Level: 26.0 - Posts: 163)
Mon, 9th Feb '09 11:29 PM

They are great, and i agree with Jank - the napping one was my favorite one also!

wordster
Wordster  (Level: 159.4 - Posts: 910)
Tue, 10th Feb '09 6:28 PM

Yes, very funny!


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