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Maurlin  (Level: 220.5 - Posts: 2707)
Mon, 30th Mar '09 10:55 PM


A Redneck woman walked into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

"WOW!" the social worker exclaimed. "Are they all yours?''

"Yep, they are all mine," the flustered momma sighed, having heard that question a thousand times before.

She yelled, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rushed to find seats.

"Well," asked the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."

"Well, to keep it simple, the boys were all named 'Leroy' and the girls were all named 'Leighroy'."

In disbelief, the case worker asked, "Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?"

Their momma replied, "Well, yes - it makes life easier.. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!'
An when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an they all comes a running. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop.
It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy!"

The social worker thought this over for a bit, then wrinkled her forehead and asked tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"

Their mamma responded, "Then I call them by their last names!"

Sherilynn1962  (Level: 116.2 - Posts: 372)
Mon, 30th Mar '09 11:30 PM

In our office we have clients with more than 5 children who each have a different daddy.

1mks  (Level: 219.4 - Posts: 5925)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 6:26 AM

We honestly had two students once named "Sir" and "Mister"......their mother named them that so that they would always be shown respect.

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 7:35 AM

That's really sad when you think about it.

1mks  (Level: 219.4 - Posts: 5925)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:17 AM


Suzer22  (Level: 165.6 - Posts: 1982)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:46 AM

I've had students named Diamond, Sparkle and Crystal (all sisters - their mother wanted them to have names that made them sound wealthy), Monsieur, Princess, LaQueena.

The worst one I ever heard of (maybe just an urban legend) is a girl named Female (pronounced fuh-mah'-lay, rhymes with tamale), because that's what the doctor wrote on her birth certificate!

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:56 AM

I used to read the "births" column of the local excuse for a newspaper (perfect for fish-wrapping and birdcage lining), and it always fascinated me how many single moms named their girl babies after the boyfriend, no matter how torturous the result. Forging any kind of bond they can, I suppose.

Thank goodness my love-child was a boy, or I'd probably have a Paulette among my goddesses.

Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5646)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 9:08 AM

There is a girl who goes to the high school with my boys who's name is Heaven...and my mom's full name was Agnes Opal Ellen Maxine...She was named after my grandpa's sisters who attended my granny at her birth...I kind you not!

Pennwoman  (Level: 161.8 - Posts: 2476)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 9:48 AM

Names I have come across over the years as a nurse, and I actually saw these, they weren't told to me

Olive Green
Leafy Curley
Gaye Peoples -- she insisted on going by Gaye Ann
Guy Lucky
Ada Dick
Prince King

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 9:51 AM

I once dated Nixon's helicopter pilot - his name was Sandy Beach. From San Diego.

Lodi  (Level: 106.0 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 10:01 AM

I always felt bad for Congressman Richard Swett. Seriously, who would do that to a kid?

Salzypat  (Level: 161.3 - Posts: 5414)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 11:12 AM

I have been involved with newspaper work for more than 40 years in one form or another, and so I began keeping track of some of the more unusual names I found.

One woman's name was Pheasant. Another was named Princess Niobrara (the Niobrara River was near our town). One woman's father named his daughter Montana Helena (because he liked Helena, Montana, so well - don't know why he didn't name her Helena Montana). These names are unusual but not awful.

But the birth announcement I saw within the last couple years tops the list for bad taste - a couple named their baby Lucifer. I hope it is not a matter of self-fulling prophecy.

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 12:13 PM

Maybe he'll be okay, there's also a Saint Lucifer.

My chiropractor when I lived in Jax Beach was Dr. Popwell.

Pennwoman  (Level: 161.8 - Posts: 2476)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 12:20 PM

I worked with or met

Dr. Klutz -- not a surgeon, thank goodness
Dr. Doctor
Dr. Peters - an eye doctor, go figure
Dr. Klipps

and truly on of the worst names ever, car racer, Dick Trickle!

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 12:24 PM

Which gave some genius the lame-o idea of naming Tom Cruise Cole Trickle in that stupid racing movie.

Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5646)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 12:47 PM

WE have a Doctor Bacon here and there use to be a Doctor Pancake in Chattanooga. Some of these names that people come up with for their kids is unreal....I went to school with a William Williams...needless to say he wanted to be called Billy...

Headylamar  (Level: 154.1 - Posts: 740)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 1:16 PM

I had a chiropractor named Dr. Bend...

Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 1:24 PM

Yeah, what is it with the doctors? trying to attach respect to a funny name?

I had a Dr Love and a Dr Bliss, though unfortunately not in the same place at the same time.

Achad  (Level: 212.0 - Posts: 661)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 3:13 PM

That's a shame!

Pennwoman  (Level: 161.8 - Posts: 2476)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 3:33 PM

I actually saw Dr. Pepper when I had mono!

Collioure  (Level: 113.7 - Posts: 9952)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 3:36 PM

Oh, yeah, Vickie. I went to HS ( a very good one) with Bill Bill.

He was a nerd, of course.

Osuzannacollage  (Level: 132.1 - Posts: 1299)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 3:47 PM

My daughter's orthodontist is Dr. Beaver -- kinda scary.

The best well-known real names have to be the Hogg sisters from Texas -- Ima and Ura. Their daddy really had a cruel streak, although he did leave the poor girls gazillions of bucks.

Tresgatos  (Level: 214.8 - Posts: 4413)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 4:14 PM

And Ima Hogg was a WhoTHAI this month, Susan!

One name my family and I came across was a man whose last name was Outhouse. We noticed he was the local minister, and my mom said maybe with such a name, that was the only job he could get!

-- Geri

Mrbojangles  (Level: 16.6 - Posts: 231)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 4:20 PM

There once was a stripper named Ineda Mann (so I've heard).
And I have a friend Richard Head.

Berylm  (Level: 162.4 - Posts: 478)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 4:26 PM

I went to school with a girl called Tina Christmas, whose parents had to be talked out of calling her Mary (successfully, fortunately) ...

Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.8 - Posts: 1302)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:06 PM

We've got some whoppers around here...

Queen Esther Robinson
Danny Daniels
Pleasant Phelan
Ophelia Butts

I am not kidding!

2 nieces swear they went to school with twins whose names were Orangejello and Lemonjello!

Suzer22  (Level: 165.6 - Posts: 1982)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:18 PM

I've seen those names before, but pronounced
Or-Angelo and luh-mon-gelo (with a g like in 'George')

When I worked in a theatre box office I had an order from a woman who wouldn't say her name out loud, she spelled it to me: C-I-L-L-E-Y. She had to call back to change the tickets, and again, wouldn't say it out loud, so I had to ask, "Is it pronounced Kiley? Or SIlly?" It was Silly! And her husband was an OB/Gyn.

Oh how I would have loved to have my baby delivered by Dr. Silly! But he was too far on the other side of town for me

1mks  (Level: 219.4 - Posts: 5925)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 8:23 PM

I went to college with a girl named Fonda (which was sort of weird I thought at the time) but did not think much about it until she married Ted Peters.

Kaufman  (Level: 267.7 - Posts: 3941)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 9:20 PM

When I was growing up, I lived near the medical practice of a married couple, whose last name made them Dr. and Dr. Doctor.

Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.8 - Posts: 1302)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 9:54 PM

Oh, and I forgot about this one. I have a cousin whose maiden name was Pickles and she married a guy whose last name was Dill. We all called it the Dill-Pickles Wedding!

Foogs  (Level: 280.1 - Posts: 848)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 10:14 PM

You're getting close to the mythic Iowa headline:

Manley man marries Fertile woman

Mplaw51  (Level: 184.4 - Posts: 1581)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 10:57 PM

Sad really, the names that you hear. A very popular one lately is Heaven spelled backward...Nevaeh. We're seeing it more and more often. Mylife and Myeternal are popular also. Go figure. I saw "Ikea" a few years ago and wondered if I was going to see other furniture makers too. There is nothing new under the sun.

Orangello and Lemongello have been making the rounds, might be an urban myth. I don't know. That goes for Female, I've been hearing that one for about 15 years now, never saw any of these in print.

I sure see some names that make me want to slap the parent(s) upside the head...I think the kids will do the job for them when they get old enough. Hope they break the cycle.

Sherilynn1962  (Level: 116.2 - Posts: 372)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 11:40 PM

When I lived in Pahrump there was a kid named Satan (no joke - it was on his birth certificate).

Lodi  (Level: 106.0 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 11:42 PM

My boss has taken to calling me by my first and middle name.

Not really amusing in any way, I just needed to vent.

Nanpaulhus  (Level: 144.4 - Posts: 351)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 11:29 AM

My father introduced me some time ago to a man whose name was Mr. Harold Butts. Later in the car he told me the "rest of the story." There was a Sunday School contest at their church and Mr. Butts invited two ladies (either neighbors or ladies from work, that part I'm not sure on...) and these two older ladies came. When thanking the visitors for coming, the pastor - who did know their names - simply said "We are happy to have with us this morning the two women who came with Harry Butts." Well, the congregation erupted in laughter. No lie. The pastor realized what he said and he laughed. The women got up, and walked out, never to return! THIS is not an urban legend It happened in Carroll County, Tennessee about 40 years ago!

I know a "Heavenly Haley Nicole"
My grandmother was Beulah Marie
My aunt named one of her sons James Richard and another Jimmy Ray (?????)

But what takes the cake is my grandfather's name. It was Commie (yes M not N) Commie Elihu.
Well, Grandpa had what would now be called COPD and he was not expected to last long or produce many children. The first one was Aunt Gladys - the one of James and Jimmy fame. (By the way, my brother and sister called her Aunt Happy Butt - get it? haha ) Next to be born was my mother. Afraid that they would not get another chance to use the prestigious name, they saddled her with it. Commie Pauline. Yep. Then, miracle of all miracles, papaw kept surviving. And producing. Crops, mules, kids..... Boy #4 became Commie Elihu, Jr. They had 8 in all. And papaw lived to be about 70. Now isn't that a nice story

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.5 - Posts: 3839)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 11:42 AM

We have a Dr. Foote who is a podiatrist.

Salzypat  (Level: 161.3 - Posts: 5414)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 12:10 PM

Nanpaulhus, thanks for a good chuckle this morning.

Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 2:32 PM

I went to school with a Merrie Christmas. (Adrian MI)

Worked with a General Jackson

Served in the Army with Chris Cross.

and went to school in Toledo Ohio with Precious Riley.

Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.8 - Posts: 1302)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 4:55 PM

OMG, I forgot about one of those slap-the-head-of-the-parent names. Someone here named their kid s***head and pronounced it sha-teed.

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 5:23 PM

I knew of a couple with the last name of "Flett" who named their daughters Pam and Lee.

...Think about it.

The best I ever encountered was a guy who had a picture of Coleridge's "Ancient Mariner" on the back of his business card.
Before he told me his name, he told me the story of his birth and childhood. (After asking if I was interested)

He went on to say that he was the last child of eight. All his childhood he remembered hearing from his father that they were one step from the poorhouse, and moans whenever a child needed something like clothes or shoes, saying: "You're all a millstone around my neck!"

He said that when his mother gave birth to him, his father stated: "I'm naming this one!"

...And so he did.

His mother never woke up to what her husband had done till she enrolled the boy at school when he was six.....and stated his full name, instead of just "Alby" as he was known.

The boy's father had named him "Albert Ross"..signifying a burden, harking back to the aforementioned "Ancient Mariner".

Alby felt bad about his name at first, but when he went into business for himself, he decided to turn his name to an advantage, so he would be remembered, and successful.
Indeed he was.
Alby never had to face penury, or a tribe of hungry kids with holes in their shoes....his business made millions each year.
I have no idea if his parents lived long enough for him to be able to provide comfort for them, and y'know, I cannot remember his last name!

But I will never forget Albert Ross (whatever) and his story.


Cujgie  (Level: 182.1 - Posts: 754)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 9:31 PM

I knew a Dr. Kroak. When I did medical transcription, one of the patients was Placenta.

Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 9:50 PM

Then there's Mr. Ben Dover, and his wife Ilene

M48ortal  (Level: 261.6 - Posts: 3826)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 10:32 PM

I've taught for over 35 years and seen many strange names. One family named all their girls ending in -etta. Gwynnetta, Cebretta, Pearletta, etc. Another family had Toiuanna, Kaitanna, Chevivi, Freeman and Jeffrey. Painted on a second-floor window in the town "Hurt & Payne." Dentists? No, Plumbers. I kept statistics for a school league and posted them in my room. One day a girl name d Lorraine was looking at it, and turned and said, "What kind of parents name their kids Winter, Summer, Autumn, Snowy, and Sunshine (all names on the list, none related)??" I replied, "What does your best friend call you?" She said,"Haley? Same thing everyone else does - 'Rainey.' Oh..."

M48ortal  (Level: 261.6 - Posts: 3826)
Fri, 3rd Apr '09 10:43 PM

Maulin's first post reminded me of when the new family moved into the neighborhood. The teacher was calling roll and asked one of the girls for her name.
"It's 'Fencepost' Jones."
"No, I mean your legal name."
"It's Fencepost Jones, Ma'am."
"No, not your nickname or pet name, I need to know what your name on your birth certificate is."
"It's Fencepost Jones! When our mama had us, she'd look out the winder an' name us atter the firs' thing she seen."
"Well that's just ridiculous! You'll just have to leave and come back when you can bring your birth certificate!."

The girl, now on the verge of tears, wiped her nose on her sleeve, and turned to her brother and said,
"Com'on, Wheelbarrow; she ain't gonna believe you, neither."

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