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pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 12:30 PM

GOLF JOKE

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder nun.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushesand grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"And Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the freaking putt, didn't you?

lucimoore
Lucimoore  (Level: 183.1 - Posts: 1683)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 2:24 PM

Good one Martina.

joanneeberlin
Joanneeberlin  (Level: 184.2 - Posts: 686)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 2:58 PM

Really good. Thanks Martina - (still laughing out loud)!!

Jo

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 4:14 PM

not a golf joke but

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

bobolicios
Bobolicios  (Level: 117.7 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 4:22 PM

Now that is funny!

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Tue, 31st Mar '09 6:02 PM

Funny as heck!


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