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1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Wed, 13th May '09 1:48 PM


I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away. It should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them
I picked out....a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw... my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when: I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

Collioure  (Level: 102.3 - Posts: 9952)
Wed, 13th May '09 5:43 PM

Sorry about your dreadful ordeal.

(but I still want venison for dinner in cold weather).

Swiper  (Level: 145.3 - Posts: 874)
Wed, 13th May '09 5:56 PM

Great Story Marsha! LOL When we were little we lived in Maine and we used to feed the deer in the back field, then later my father would shoot them and put them on the table for dinner. He couldn't figure out why we wouldn't eat it and would rather go to bed without any supper. I'm forever grateful to the day my mother put us kids in the car and came back to Massachusetts. God rest my father's soul but come on.

Tuzilla  (Level: 130.8 - Posts: 3769)
Wed, 13th May '09 6:06 PM

Everyone makes the same mistake...going for the head. You rope the legs, either front or rear, tie off the rope, then disable the other two legs.

I have plenty of venison recipes, if you ever get to the cut up and prepare to eat stage.

Collioure  (Level: 102.3 - Posts: 9952)
Wed, 13th May '09 6:14 PM

Now you tell her, Steve.


Crazy4games  (Level: 122.3 - Posts: 1020)
Wed, 13th May '09 6:23 PM

Surely, you jest!

M48ortal  (Level: 248.1 - Posts: 3733)
Wed, 13th May '09 6:25 PM

Great story. Well told. When my kids were young we were coming home from a square dance and a possum froze in my headlights. It was a dirt road with little traffic, so I stopped the car and told the kids, "Watch this." I got out and found a stick, intending to show my offspring how a possum plays dead. You can figure out the rest of the story for yourself. I'll just add that if you poke a possum, and you don't use enough force, all you do is piss him off. Possums can be surprisingly fast, and the Virginia possum has the second-most teeth (50, and very sharp) of any land mammal (the armadillo is first - 100). The good news is, about a dozen years later, son #2 entered a tall-tale telling contest and told "Dad versus the Possum," and won first place and $250. He beat out several professional story-tellers and a few politicians. In his spare time, he's now working on "Dad versus the Ladder" versions 1, 2, and 3. Nice to know I had an influence on him.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Wed, 13th May '09 7:35 PM

Good lord, woman! Didn't you watch that video of the deer attack that someone posted not long ago?

1mks  (Level: 208.0 - Posts: 5864)
Wed, 13th May '09 8:40 PM

I did NOT do that personally. A friend sent it to me and he is nuts enough to try that. I can't help but laugh.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Wed, 13th May '09 8:44 PM

ooooo - maybe HE is the one in the video with the wife that just stood there videorecording?

Surreyman  (Level: 257.0 - Posts: 2766)
Thu, 14th May '09 6:22 AM

We just ask our waiter for it. He sems to get it without too much trouble.

Davidf  (Level: 102.1 - Posts: 746)
Thu, 14th May '09 8:16 AM

Maybe the deer was desperate to get back to their family, hence the struggle

Pennwoman  (Level: 151.8 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 14th May '09 8:33 AM

LOL Marsha, I can't wait to send this to my son, what a hoot!

Jeannette  (Level: 109.5 - Posts: 1736)
Thu, 14th May '09 8:52 AM

lol Marsha made my day got tears in my eyes laughing xx

Madamec8  (Level: 79.5 - Posts: 890)
Thu, 14th May '09 11:43 PM

Marsha, I laughed so hard tears were running down my legs. I didn't know whether I should send you a get well card in the ICU or haul out your John Wayne quote. What a great story -- that kind someone should have video-taped.

Collioure  (Level: 102.3 - Posts: 9952)
Fri, 15th May '09 4:41 AM

Boy, I sure hope Chris Matthews doesn't get a hold of this.

Barnierubble  (Level: 93.9 - Posts: 637)
Fri, 15th May '09 5:58 AM

My two sons had been visiting their Grandmother in Southampton. On the way home, in the car, they came across a poor little squirrel which had obviously been hit by a car. Being kind, caring, sensitive young men, not like their father LOL, they stopped to try to help this squirrel, as it was obviously still alive. My oldest son, Nocholas, picked the squirrel up, and was promply bitten in the finger for his trouble. Now this squirrel had no intention of letting go, so my youngest son, Christopher, drove Nick about twenty miles to Worthing hospital. When they reached there, the squirrel was pronounced dead, and Nick got a Rabies shot in his bum. I don't think they will be so silly again.youngest

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