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cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Mon, 18th May '09 10:14 AM

NEED A LAUGH/


Your laugh for today




If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science
exam answers :

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum.. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benig n is what you will be after you be eight.

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________ _________ _________ ______
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ____________ _________ _________ __

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________ _________ _________ ____
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
____________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admi tted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
____________ _________ _________ ________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher





lodi
Lodi  (Level: 98.8 - Posts: 2144)
Mon, 18th May '09 10:18 AM

funny

jeannette
Jeannette  (Level: 111.1 - Posts: 1736)
Mon, 18th May '09 10:28 AM

lol made me smile out of the mouths of babes you just gotta em

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.4 - Posts: 5493)
Mon, 18th May '09 12:22 PM

I liked these...thanks for the smile today
Vickie

crazy4games
Crazy4games  (Level: 123.0 - Posts: 1020)
Mon, 18th May '09 7:37 PM

Too cute!

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Mon, 18th May '09 10:34 PM

Thanks for posting!

naomi4195
Naomi4195  (Level: 51.7 - Posts: 184)
Tue, 19th May '09 2:04 AM

Really cute, thanks for the smile!!!


nelly
Nelly  (Level: 172.0 - Posts: 1167)
Tue, 19th May '09 12:56 PM

lol. Thanks Cathy!

monkeynips13
Monkeynips13  (Level: 21.5 - Posts: 647)
Tue, 19th May '09 1:10 PM

Thanks Cathy I needed a laugh.

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Tue, 19th May '09 2:02 PM

Alison, Glad this helped, and it's good to hear your Mom is doing better..

Cathy



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