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Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2476)
Wed, 8th Jul '09 3:32 PM


The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one.

When a husband's words are sharp, it may be from trying to get them in edgeways

If Love is Blind and Marriage is an Institution, then Marriage is an Institution for the Blind

Marriage, five minutes to get in and a lifetime to get out of

A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

A man tells his wife of 15 years that it feels like they've only been married for 5 minutes the wife says thats so sweet and he says yeah 5 minutes under water.

"I Will" is the shortest sentence in the english language..."I Do" is the longest

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing

"I bought my ex a gift for her birthday, but she didn't use it so I'm not going to get her another." "What did you get her?" " A cemetary plot!"

The only difference between marriage and prison is that at least prisoners occasionally get to finish a sentence.

Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Wed, 8th Jul '09 3:42 PM

"5 minutes under water!" Ooh, snap.

"Wedding cake"

Thanks Martina.

Marynuala  (Level: 141.3 - Posts: 996)
Wed, 8th Jul '09 5:03 PM

Thanks for a good laugh! (Your avatar also made me smile, it is so cute).

Aristotle  (Level: 72.7 - Posts: 191)
Wed, 8th Jul '09 5:55 PM

Great stuff!

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