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Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 12:06 AM


I remember when I was a kid, I thought there was a country named "Cognito." And whenever someone traveled "in Cognito," you had to wear a trench coat and sunglasses.

Oogie54  (Level: 210.7 - Posts: 1120)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 12:57 AM

When I was about 4 years old my father told me we were going to see the fireworks on July 4th. I didn't want to go because I imagined it being a very large structure of some kind burning. I was as much relieved to see the show as I was excited about the spectacle of it all.

Godwit  (Level: 81.2 - Posts: 435)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 1:05 AM

My roommate at graduate school, from Alabama, thought the big trucks that came through the snow were spraying hot water, to melt the ice.

Clevercloggs  (Level: 27.4 - Posts: 1246)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 1:34 AM

I remember swallowing an orange pip and crying hysterically because i thought an orange tree was growing inside of me. I was only 28 though.

Godwit  (Level: 81.2 - Posts: 435)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 1:51 AM

So thank gawd, now you know better.

Godwit  (Level: 81.2 - Posts: 435)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 1:53 AM

My first time snow skiing I fell, the skis broke in half, and I went stomping into the office to tell the guy his skis were no good.
"They are designed to come apart so you don't break your leg," the guy says calmly.

Madamec8  (Level: 85.9 - Posts: 897)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 2:07 AM

When they first installed bathroom stalls for the handicapped, my friend wouldn't use them because he thought they were for handicapped only.

Godwit  (Level: 81.2 - Posts: 435)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 2:16 AM

Aw that's sweet. Most people glare with seething resentment at the handicapped who use handicapped spaces. And here's your friend sweetly avoiding "their" bathroom.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 2:53 AM

It took me awhile to figure out what my son meant when he first started writing. I would see him write something like, "It was fairy good."

I thought that was so cute.

Until I realized I must not enunciate very clearly, because since he was a baby he thought I was saying fairy, when I was actually saying very.

Goddess28  (Level: 92.6 - Posts: 5235)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 3:55 AM

Anytime my dad would bring something home, we would say "where did you get that?" His response was always "the gittin' place"". My son thouth that was a realy place for the longest time...LOL

Mplaw51  (Level: 184.8 - Posts: 1581)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 6:03 AM

I was about seven before I realized my father's name wasn't "Darlin'". My mother always called him that, I thought it was his first name!

Zeedee  (Level: 235.6 - Posts: 1088)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 7:45 AM

When I was little, all the adult men in my family were tattooed. I assumed it was something that just happened to them -- the way that, when girls grew up, they got breasts; when boys grew up, pictures came out on their skin.

Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:00 AM

I was in my 30s when I found out that the "Mairzy Doats" lyrics were what they were.

Goddess28  (Level: 92.6 - Posts: 5235)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:14 AM

Maureen, that is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard.

Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4285)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:30 AM

Similar to Cloggs...
I was told if I swallowed a watermelon seed, a watermelon would grow out of my ear.
The thought didn't scare me...I thought it was fascinating and was disappointed when it didn't happen.

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2476)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:46 AM

I went to nursing school, having never heard the word penis, out loud. I thought it was pronounced pen-is. I got teased mercilessly, especially by the girl, who was convinced that she was pregnant because her boyfriend saw her in her underwear.
Oh to be that young and innocent again.

Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:50 AM

I used to pretend I had a Garden Tub, by making my own bubbles.

Oldcougar  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 1935)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 9:04 AM


Asor  (Level: 162.7 - Posts: 595)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 9:19 AM

I thought "shocking pink" was "shopping pink"--which made me think that would be the default color of shopping carts. I always felt ripped off that our local Gristedes used boring old gray carts.

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 9:50 AM

When I was little, one of my older sisters told me not to play with my belly button or my guts would fall out. I believed her for a lot longer than I should have.

Clevercloggs  (Level: 27.4 - Posts: 1246)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 10:24 AM

Over here betting shops used to be known as "Turf Accountants", even when you looked them up in a phone book. I lost a very embarrassing argument when i was about sixteen !!!!!! On the plus side, it was the last argument i lost..........

Allena  (Level: 268.3 - Posts: 1412)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 10:39 AM

My son loved bacon and eggs and was asked if he just wanted eggs for breakfast since we were out of bacon. He said, "which are the eggs?"

Marynuala  (Level: 141.3 - Posts: 996)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 1:13 PM

When I was about 7 or 8, someone at school said that if you swallowed chewing gum you would die. It took me sometime to feel that I could chew gum feeling safely - I know, silly! :#

Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 2:47 PM

Back in the forties when my parents denied me something I really wanted my favorite expression was "I wish I was in Russia!!"
One day I was pouting on the couch and used my "threat". Then I heard my mother in the dining room dialing the phone and asking when the next batch of kids was scheduled for the boat to Russia, Then I heard her say "fine, if he still wants to go I'll have him waiting on the dock". The next fifteen minutes was spent apologizing profusely and promising to be the best kid on the block. For about two days after that I think I might have qualified for sainthood but the shock did eventually wear off and I returned to being a nasty little $----, but I never said that again.

M48ortal  (Level: 263.5 - Posts: 3846)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 3:00 PM

I still can't listen to the song "Secret Agent Man" without hearing "Secret Asian Man."

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2476)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 3:14 PM

There is a Secret Asian Man cartoon!

Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 6:47 PM

And it's a double feature!

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 7:20 PM

When my kids were being particularly naughty, I used to get out the Sears catalog, open to the kids' clothing section, and tell them I was going to send them back and order a new kid. The 1st two would immediately start behaving. My youngest, at 3, packed her bags and waited on the porch for the kids' catalog people to pick her up.

For some reason, my older siblings smile and say something about "justice" when it comes to my youngest daughter, but I'm not sure what they mean.

M48ortal  (Level: 263.5 - Posts: 3846)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 7:53 PM

One year at Christmas, I wrapped several extra packages, put our 3 childrens' names on them, and put them under the tree. I then told them "the rule:" Misbehavior of any form will result in one of your presents going into the "give-away" box. I then put a large cardboard box out, to be donated to charity.

By the time they had each lost three presents, they were practically angels. And the charity got nine boxes of gift-wrapped Kleenex and a cash donation.

Lynnm  (Level: 237.8 - Posts: 2048)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 8:31 PM

For some reason I thought Communists and kidnappers were the same thing until my big sister scornfully corrected me when I was about 6.

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 10:11 PM

When my oldest daughter was little, we made a road trip to visit my sister in California. Once we got there, my daughter was appalled at the "confetti" spray painted all over everything.

Bbear  (Level: 168.0 - Posts: 2297)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 11:14 PM

My dad had a VW bug. the gas gauge said "f" and "r" because there was a one gallon "reserve tank" under the seat. But he told me that "r" meant "rempty" which I really believed.

Bbear  (Level: 168.0 - Posts: 2297)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 11:15 PM

When I was naughty my dad would pick up the phone and call "Mr. X". He then would have a long conversation with Mr. X to tell him to take me away as I was being bad. They he would put me on the porch and shut the door.

Needless to say, in general I was a pretty good kid.

Smaug  (Level: 145.4 - Posts: 2765)
Tue, 4th Aug '09 11:23 PM

When my three kids were small we went to a restaurant where my friend, a big imposing biker-looking dude, worked in the kitchen.

The kids were acting up and the waitress said "Watch out how you behave or the Restaurant Policeman" will come.

So, the kids make fun of that for a few minutes "Yeah, right!" "There's no Restaurant Policeman" and continue to misbehave.

So, my buddy comes out to see us and as he gets near the table I said, "Here comes the Restaurant Policeman", I warned you !"

So my buddy picks it up and places it out perfectly...scowling, not talking, staring at each one.

My kids were perfect angels the next five years in restaurants. All we had to do was tell them "We are going to call the Restaurant Policeman" !"

Cujgie  (Level: 182.1 - Posts: 754)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 1:13 AM

When I was pretty young, a friend told me to be sure to peel off all the "threads" on a banana because, if you eat them, you will die. Even though I don't believe that any longer, I still peel bananas very carefully...just in case. I must be doing a good job -- I'm still alive.

Madamec8  (Level: 85.9 - Posts: 897)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 5:02 AM

Sandra, you break my heart -- everyone knows that mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy!!!

Madamec8  (Level: 85.9 - Posts: 897)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 5:04 AM

When my daughter was 8 or 9, she asked me very earnestly -- "mom, when I get older, will my chest get heavy and fall forward like yours?" . I couldn't think of a thing to say

Zeedee  (Level: 235.6 - Posts: 1088)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 5:25 AM

When my daughter was about three, I was getting ready one evening to go out to dinner. I didn't realize how rarely I got dressed up (including makeup) until she asked me while I was putting on the finishing touches, "What you doin', Mama?"
I said, "Getting beautiful for Daddy."
There was a long pause, then she said.......... "It isn't working, is it?"

M48ortal  (Level: 263.5 - Posts: 3846)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 6:32 AM

When Bon Jovi's "Livin' on Prayer" came out, we were trying to feed and clothe our three teenagers on our teachers' pay, so every time it came on the radio we sang it as "Livin on Credit." Still do, just not as often.

Remember when you were learning the alphabet and thought that 'elemeno' was one letter, right after 'k?'

Also, when was the first time you realized that when someone said it was a 'quarter after' on the clock, that it wasn't 25 after?

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 8:30 AM

When my oldest was 3, she went to a preschool in a church basement. Her cousin was 7 months older, and he went to his own church preschool in a town a few miles away. One time when they were playing together, my sister and I overheard them arguing about religion. Brandon was saying "It was Jesus who died on the cross." Heather was arguing that no, it was Tommy Jones. They argued back and forth like this for a while until Heather burst out with "It was Tommy Jones who died on the cross and I ought to know because I played his mother!" (Guess they had done a little school play around Christmas time.)

It was spring break for both daycares and their breaks were one week different from each other so we decided that Heather would spend her spring break at my sister's house and Brandon would spend spring break at my house and each would get to go to the other's preschool. As my nephew's week approached, he seem to grow more quiet and less excited to come. When my sister asked him why he didn't seem to be excited to spend spring break with me and go to Heather's preschool, he burst into tears and said "Because I don't want to have to die on the cross like Tommy Jones!"

You should have seen the preschool teacher's face when I asked her just exactly what she was teaching these kids.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 8:37 AM

This is not political, though it's about 2 politicians.

My son was 6, and Ronald Reagan was president. He knew a lot about President Reagan.

One night, my son was hearing about John Kennedy on the evening news. He asked me about him and I told him briefly about the president and how President Kennedy was in office when I was close to his age.

My son said, "Hmmmmm - what movies was he in?"

Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2476)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 8:46 AM

We were living near Fort Benning, where my dad was stationed, and my parents decided we needed to start attending church. My sister and I attended our first sunday school class, we where about 4 and 5. They asked us if we knew any songs, and asked us to sing on. The words are fuzzy now, but here is what we sang

Once I went a swiming,
where there where no women,
or no men to see.
As no one was there,
I hung my underwear,
upon a willow tree.
Then I dove into the water,
just like Pharohs daughter
swam into the sea.
Some one saw me there,
And stole my underwear,
And left me with a smile!

Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 12:15 PM

After my dog Sarah died, I cleaned and vacuumed up all her hair. Except one chair that she liked to lie behind, I can't make myself vacuum the hair off.
Oh. This isn't the "sad" thread. Sorry.

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 12:28 PM

When my oldest was about 6, we were driving in the car and she looked really sad. I kept asking what was wrong and she kept saying nothing, and morosely looking out the window. After some prodding, she started crying and said "Mom, if I die, will you put all of my toys in the attic so no other little kids can play with them?"


Pennwoman  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 2476)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 1:23 PM

My two oldest children where 14 months apart and the sweetest little things.....
When we went to the grocery store and got to the candy aisle, I would tell them to close their eyes, and then to open them when we were through the aisle..... and they would, and they did it for almost a year....
My youngest, NEVER did it once!

Kaufman  (Level: 269.7 - Posts: 3943)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 11:02 PM


I believe he was in Forrest Gump.

And of course the Zapruder film.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Wed, 5th Aug '09 11:11 PM

Hey - I should remind him of this story and Forrest Gump (we saw it together at the theater near the marine base in Plainville, CT).

The other? ewwwwwww I don't think when he was that young the Zapruder tape had been unearthed yet.

Monkeynips13  (Level: 21.5 - Posts: 647)
Thu, 6th Aug '09 11:28 AM

I was about 5 when the Adam Walsh kidnapping and murder occured, and my parents used it as a cautionary tale to prevent us from wandering off in stores and malls, etc. One day my grandmother took my cousin and I with her while she was running some errands. Visions of beheaded children stil stuck in my head, I clung to my grandmothers hand for dear life in the crowded store parking lot, while my cousin went tearing off toward the shopping center. I cried after her "Nikki, come back or they'll chop off your head!" You should of seen the looks my grandmother got. It's a miracle nobody called child protective services.

Garrybl  (Level: 293.8 - Posts: 6801)
Thu, 6th Aug '09 11:50 AM

Anybody else think their mother suffered from knee-grains?
I thought not.

M48ortal  (Level: 263.5 - Posts: 3846)
Thu, 6th Aug '09 12:13 PM

No, I thought she had "Her-Graines."

Just like my nephew, when visiting us, came in and told me to come look at how many hummingbirds were in "Your-Mosa" tree.

Mplaw51  (Level: 184.8 - Posts: 1581)
Thu, 6th Aug '09 8:13 PM

When my middle son, Kevin, was about 5, we were just generally talking as mothers do with small children. I told him when he grew up, he would have his own house and he could decorate it and have pictures and any furniture he wanted. We live in the house that my husband grew up in and have added on and rebuilt the house to suit our needs. Kevin got such an angry look on his face and sat in the big rocker and rocked furiously for about 30 minutes. I left him alone, knowing he'd tell me what was on his mind when he was ready. After a bit he jumped up with his hands on his hips and a stormy face and said, "Why do I have to move? Daddy never had to move, why are you kicking me out?" Yikes! I told him he could stay as long as he wanted. He settled right down. What an imagination.

Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Thu, 6th Aug '09 8:44 PM

ok.. i cannot believe i'm going to admit this but, as a well read, intelligent adult, I was in the subway station one day with a friend.. there was a large advertising poster in a frame that said "Posters Mean Business".. obviously trying to sell the advertising space. I said to my friend, "I pass by this every day and I can't figure out what the h*ll a Poster is." Only problem is, I was reading it as 'pawster'... d'oh! She laughed her a** off at me all the way to work.. rightfully so.

Lodi  (Level: 107.5 - Posts: 2144)
Fri, 7th Aug '09 1:11 AM

When I was little, we had this big old fashioned blue pickup, you know the ones that looked all round. When we would drive at night and I was being particularly unruly, my dad told me that our old pickup was magic. He said that it knew when a car was coming and when it saw a car, it switched off the blue light on the dash. So if I sat quietly and watched the blue light, I could wait to see if it went off. And if it did, I should look up and there would be a car. I couldn't believe it! Every time that light went off, I looked up to see car lights heading towards us. And after the car passed, I would hear a click, and that blue light would come back on. It was fascinating!

I wonder whatever happened to that old blue magical pickup.

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