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Lisa2412  (Level: 121.7 - Posts: 34)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 6:27 PM


My husband and I have a small disagreement. While it is a trivial matter, I'd still like to know what you guys think. I say when you are buying a gift for someone (Christmas, birthday, etc) you should try to buy them something THEY want. My husband says that's a stupid idea and you should buy them what YOU want them to have.(Regardless of whether it's something they want) He hates it when I try to make a birthday or Christmas list. He'd rather get me what he wants me to have, instead of something I'm certain to like.
I'd love some outside opinions. Thanks!

Missgeorge  (Level: 63.0 - Posts: 388)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 6:58 PM

I vote for giving them something they want so they won't want to return it or regift it.

Ladyvol  (Level: 212.2 - Posts: 5649)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 7:13 PM

Something you would like not something he'd like you to have....The last time my hubby did this I wound up with a new iron! LOL....Definatly go with something you'd like so it won't have to be returned....

Greyghost  (Level: 68.4 - Posts: 640)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 8:03 PM

last time my hubby tried that,i gave Him what I wanted,a DIVORCE.

Bigbird  (Level: 249.1 - Posts: 3337)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 8:35 PM

It's a present. The whole idea of a present is to give somebody something that you think they will love. I always have a hard time buying something that I don't personally like, but if I know that the person collects, let's say, Lenox, and I hate Lenox, I will still buy it, knowing that it is something that they will want.

I get annoyed when I receive a present and it is clear to me that the person who gave it to me didn't think about ME at all. You'd better not be giving me any Lenox!! Keep it country and "cottagey" please.


Tuzilla  (Level: 144.7 - Posts: 3839)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 8:39 PM

I try to figure out what they want. Then from that, I try to figure which they need. If I still have multiple choices, then I go for what I want to give them from the sorting of the other choices.

Rev66  (Level: 86.4 - Posts: 85)
Mon, 5th Jun '06 9:27 PM

Something they want to have. Shouldn't a spouse know his/her mate well enough to know what they want. We call the gifts given accourding to what YOU want them to have -left handed presents.
And very often I suspect the gifts that what the giver wants them to have is either something the giver wants him/herself or is some kind of coercion to or judgement of a life style.

Too extreme. Maybe I'm in a bad mood.

Lolly  (Level: 99.8 - Posts: 78)
Tue, 6th Jun '06 3:21 AM

lol Greyghost..!! :D Men sure can be strange at times, why not just look at a list that has a definate "oh wow, thanks!!" on it?? I'm lucky. My fiance loves to work out the perfect present. Then again, it's difficult to go wrong with diamonds. Perhaps I should clone him and share.. :D

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Tue, 6th Jun '06 7:19 AM

One way round the dilemma of girt-buying is to ask the recipient to make a short list of gifts they would like to receive.
Then, when you buy one of those items, they are getting what they want, but there is still the element of surprise, coz they don't know WHICH item you chose to purchase!


Troypassion  (Level: 69.5 - Posts: 60)
Tue, 6th Jun '06 2:13 PM

I'll sum up what I think very quickly:

You are right, he is wrong.

(..and I'm a male chauvanist pig apparently)

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Tue, 6th Jun '06 3:03 PM

I try to compromise. I try to choose gifts that they will want plus make me happy about giving them.


Lisa2412  (Level: 121.7 - Posts: 34)
Tue, 6th Jun '06 3:25 PM

Thanks everyone! The funny part is he is always telling me "you can get me this for Christmas, or that for my bday" But when I try to tell him what I want its a different story. LOL

Flybybethy  (Level: 136.6 - Posts: 155)
Wed, 7th Jun '06 12:09 PM

The very essence of a gift is that it is for the person you're giving it to. WHY give them something they may not want? When that has happened to me (I have an aunt who buys me clothes SHE'd like me to wear, as opposed to what I WILL wear and there are always refund hassles ensuing) I always think "WHY WHY WHY Would they buy me this when they know I like....."
I vote for you. Now make your husband buy you a gift. A gift YOU want, LOL.

Willow58  (Level: 48.6 - Posts: 4)
Thu, 8th Jun '06 7:48 PM

i learned not to answer:" surprise me", when my husband asks what i want.. also, my approach to gift giving is "when in doubt, give a gift card"..

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Fri, 9th Jun '06 7:41 AM

I'm with you Bethany. I am not keen on other folks buying me clothes, as they are generally nothing like what I would wear. I would have preferred a gift voucher!
I often give store vouchers as gifts for family members, when unsure of what they would like.

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