You are not signed in (Login or Join Free)   |   Help
Sploofus Trivia
Trivia GamesCommunityLeaderboardsTournaments
MySploofus
You are here:  Home  >>  Chat Forums  >>  The Salty Dog  >>  View Chat Message

View Chat Message



Pages:  1    


ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.3 - Posts: 5488)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 10:06 PM

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE REDNECK LINE BY JEFF FOXWORTHY...

Here's one of mine...
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.3 - Posts: 5488)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 10:09 PM

My hubby likes this one...LOL
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

m48ortal
M48ortal  (Level: 251.4 - Posts: 3742)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 10:22 PM

You go to your family reunion to pick up dates.

Or...
The trade-in value of your pickup truck varies, depending on how full the gas tank is.

f5laur
F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 10:47 PM

1. you've ever eaten a lard sandwich
2.you think going formal means driving a black pick up truck
3.your children trip over Christmas lights hunting for easter eggs
4.you think being a wine connoisseur means buying a bigger box
5. "pass the buck" is a request at the dinner table
6.there were dogs in your wedding party
7.your screen door has no screen
8. you cleaned out your garage and discovered you didn't sell your motorcycle
9. you ever encouraged your grandma to enter an eating contest
10. your working television sits on top of your non-working television
11. you've ever forced people to take your homegrown squash
12. you decorate your dog for Christmas


Compliments from my purse calander that i got for my birthday. LOL

redwingchick
Redwingchick  (Level: 91.1 - Posts: 420)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 11:17 PM

If you wear a strapless dress with a bra that isn't...you might be a redneck.

If your family tree doesn't fork...you might be a redneck.

If you have ever emptied the bed of your pickup by driving fast in reverse and then slamming on the brakes...you might be a redneck.

lodi
Lodi  (Level: 98.7 - Posts: 2144)
Fri, 25th Sep '09 11:36 PM

My favorite, because it always reminded me of my mother:

"If your mother doesn't remove the marlboro from her lips before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck."

Love love LOVE that one.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 1:48 AM

You might be a redneck if your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(I've actually done that! Guess if the shoe fits.....)

Jeff Foxworthy appeared in concert during Nebraskaland Days probably 8 or 9 years ago and I had the fun of interviewing him. He was so pleasant, funny and down-home, that I could easily see ordinary folks just kicking their shoes off and sharing a beer with him, shootin' the breeze all afternoon.

One thing he said that I have remembered was that he considered Red Skelton and Art Linkletter his mentors. They taught him he could be funny without telling the dirty jokes and using foul language. Think he's probably lightened up his standards some, but he's probably one of the "cleaner" comics around.

aquamar
Aquamar  (Level: 179.0 - Posts: 909)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 1:53 AM

You might be a redneck if you think a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

clevercloggs
Clevercloggs  (Level: 27.4 - Posts: 1246)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 1:58 AM

I think these might make a short list.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTzqEBHnVow

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 7:45 AM

"Good night folks!"

bobolicios
Bobolicios  (Level: 118.4 - Posts: 1745)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 7:59 AM

Clevercloggs wiins by a mile. All I can say is WOW.

monkeynips13
Monkeynips13  (Level: 21.5 - Posts: 647)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 9:06 AM

Q: How is a tornado like a redneck divorce?
A: One way or another, someone's gonna lose a trailor.

spacecat
Spacecat  (Level: 158.7 - Posts: 667)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 11:30 AM

You might be a redneck if you think wrestling is real and man did NOT land on the moon.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 12:19 PM

You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.


f5laur
F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 3:10 PM

If your liquor store knows you by your first name.

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.0 - Posts: 3778)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 8:31 PM

I have dozens of favorites...but here's a smattering are:

if ammunition is the top item on your grnadmother's Christmas list.

if you find a new car every time you mow the lawn.

if you plan you trips to the laundromat based on your TV Guide.

if over 75 percent of the metal in your pickup is beer cans.

if your wife weighs more than your pickup.

if the value of your pickup fluxuates with the amount of gas in the tank.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 9:05 PM

You've ever given rat traps as gifts.

You've ever bought a used cap.

you think suspenders are a type of shirt.

m48ortal
M48ortal  (Level: 251.4 - Posts: 3742)
Sat, 26th Sep '09 10:10 PM

Hey now! I've actually pulled my pickup truck to the side of the road to check out a cap lying on the shoulder. Scruffy is good. My son accused me of wearing 'geezer' hats because they went straight up in front instead of curving with the head like ball caps.

I bought a brand new cap the other day because it was pre-tattered enough to look used. I'd put a smiley face at the end of my post, but I can't find one with the front teeth missing, which would be perfect for this thread.

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.0 - Posts: 3778)
Sun, 27th Sep '09 9:20 PM

I fergot.

if you have ever eaten a bologna burrito.

bobolicios
Bobolicios  (Level: 118.4 - Posts: 1745)
Sun, 27th Sep '09 9:24 PM

Then there is the old one you know you are a redneck when you go to a family reunion to meet your future wife.


Pages:  1    



Copyright © 2003-2016 Sploofus Holdings LLC.  All rights reserved.
Legal Notice & Privacy Statement  |  Link to Sploofus