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M48ortal  (Level: 263.7 - Posts: 3850)
Wed, 30th Sep '09 10:11 PM


In case you missed it.

A traveling faith-healer visits a small town. After his sermon and the passing of the plate for the first time, he calls for anyone who needs healing to come to the stage.

A lady on crutches awkwardly makes her way to the front, and is soon joined there by a timid little man.

“What is your name,” the healer says to the man, “and what is your ailment?”

“My name ith Thimon Thimmons, and I have a thpeech impediment. I have a bad lithp.”

“So I see,” says the healer. “Mr. Simmons, please come up on stage and step behind this curtain.”

Turning to the lady, he says, “Ma’am, we can see your affliction. Please tell us your name.”

“My name is Mrs. Dorothea Smith,” she replies.

“Let me help you up the steps and behind this curtain.” And he does.

He then launches into a fervent prayer, whipping the congregation to a fever pitch. Sweating profusely and trembling with emotion, after several minutes he grasps the curtain and it begins to shake as if it will fall from its holders.

He turns to the crowd and shouts loudly, “Mrs. Smith! I want you to throw your right crutch over the curtain!”

The crowd gasps as a crutch comes flying over the curtain and lands on the stage with a clang. He then commands her to throw her left crutch over the curtain, and it follows its partner. The crowd shouts, whoops and applauds loudly.

Dramatically, the healer then raises his hands and the crowd falls silent. “And now,” he asks, “Mr. Simmons! What do you have to say to this congregation?”

From behind the curtain, Mr. Simmon’s voice rings out...

“Mithith Thmith juth fell on her ath!”

Monkeynips13  (Level: 21.5 - Posts: 647)
Wed, 30th Sep '09 10:22 PM

I did catch this on Cleverclog's thread and meant to comment on it, but got sidetracked searching for Monty Python bits. My bad. Anyhoo, this had me laughing harder than I had in a long time. Thanks for posting.

M48ortal  (Level: 263.7 - Posts: 3850)
Thu, 1st Oct '09 9:35 PM

I told this at work, and someone asked if I were making fun of faith healers. While there are some charlatans out there, another possibility is that the two people behind the curtain lacked sufficient faith. You decide. Or just enjoy the story without trying to analyze it.

Good night, Nurse.

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