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Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:12 AM


It isn't the job I am in because it is pretty low level guest relations and nite auditing. The people I work with at this small property are making me feel like I am from a 3rd world country or worse. The attitudes are so negative and back stabbing and I just haven't dealt with anything like this. Here is an example, this morning my relief came in. She is 22 years old and a strict christian young lady. She is efficient at her job but most definitely lacks a personality, in my opinion. For some reason she makes me feel insecure and stupid every time we change shifts. She just came back from yet another mini vacation and humiliated me right off the bat, asked what was going on at bulletin board. I replied oh there is a meeting on Thursday, her reply was "I can read". Now is it just me or is that a serious attitude and not a professional response in the workplace. Mind you I am old enough to be her mother and don't even know this young woman. I am seething and at home and want to call her and ask her what her problem is. I only have my intelligent pals at sploofus to turn you. What say you my friends. Help!

Bigdavy  (Level: 140.7 - Posts: 539)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:19 AM

Sounds like she DOES have a problem, she doesn't know how to interact with people. And has an attitude as well. I say, don't let her problem become your problem. Take the high road and give her a wide berth. Bite your tongue and don't go down to her level because it could become a p---ing match. It's hard to do, I know. With people like this, I just keep telling myself "I am better than they are" which may not be very charitable but it helps me move on.

Clevercloggs  (Level: 27.4 - Posts: 1246)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:33 AM

"and a strict christian young lady"..............There's your problem.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:34 AM

DUH! Wow sometimes you do make sense.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:39 AM

The thing is I expect her to be christian like, her wanting to be a missionary and all. But then she opens her mouth, and she is the most condescending individual in my work place I have ever met. She comes off like with this absolute attitude that everything she says or does is perfect. I just can't figure it out the two just don't mesh.

Bigmama60  (Level: 95.2 - Posts: 6644)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:55 AM

I have had more humiliating and ludicrous situations. When I did home healthcare I would just have to laugh at the ignorant and mean things the clients would say.
*One time I arrived at the client's house and the Client said Marge I have to hang up now; The clean up lady is here. My reply was did you ask for the clean up lady because I'm your nurse?
*Once the client's husband asked me did graduate from High School?

I know its humiliating but you just have to admit these people are ignorant. Forgive them for they know not what they do.

Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 8:55 AM

Some people just think small talk is counter productive. Most likely she can't get a word in edgewise.

Lynnm  (Level: 236.0 - Posts: 2033)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 9:12 AM

There's absolutely nothing wrong with pointing out to this young lady that you don't appreciate her tone. She is very young and probably hasn't learned to appreciate the wisdom of people who have been in the workforce a good deal longer than she has.

Salzypat  (Level: 161.6 - Posts: 5414)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 9:48 AM

CC - I disagree: "and a strict christian young lady"..............There's your problem

The problem is not that she is a strict Christian young lady but that she is portraying herself as a strict Christian. There is a difference.

Bobo, one of the best pieces of advice I have received (and the hardest to follow) is that no one can make you feel stupid, incompetent, or anything else unless you give them permission and the power to do so.

Someone needs to remind her (but probably not you!) that she may be the only bible that some people "read." Hmm, wonder what message they are getting?

Lodi  (Level: 106.0 - Posts: 2144)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 10:04 AM

Its all a matter of perspective. She may be having a similar conversation with her friends.

F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 10:45 AM

Don't let ANYONE make you feel a lesser person than they are. Your co-worker obviously is not acting like a Christian so you should just look at her as a co-worker, nothing more, nothing less. The bullitan board comment.....I would have siad back to her, "if you can read, why did you bother asking?" Maybe if she got a taste of her own medicine, she may think twice before making her obnoxious comments.
However you deal with it, just remember that you do have friends here and that she is not worthy enough to be YOUR friend.
SMILE at yourself in the mirror and think about all the positive things in your life.

Monkeynips13  (Level: 21.5 - Posts: 647)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 11:27 AM

In my experience people who feel the need to talk down to others are acting out of a place of deep seeded insecurity. On the other hand, from your description of her - efficient and lacking a personality- it sounds as if you could be dealing with a robot. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let Miss Un- Christian Acting Android get you down. If nothing else envision her coming home to an empty appartment, checking her answering machine only to find that none of her cyborg friends have called, plugging herself into a power source, her lonely tear drops leaving little rust stains on her cheeks.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 3:36 PM

Felix the remarks were uncalled for I was geniunely seeking advice. She asked ME what was going on at the bulletin board, and since she had been away a week and the meeting notice was given during her absence I told her about it. BTW small talk is something I don't do well as anyone who knows me will tell you. I try not to talk with most people in the work place or get personal at all and believe me I am not trying to strike up a friendship with this confusing young woman. I just don't think she has a clue that what she said was hurtful. Felix I am all for being funny, but you little man are not funny. This was not meant to be a pick on me political post. So go back to the barnyard and peck on someone else.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 4:43 PM

I am going to ask the editors to delete that last post calling me a drunk. You need to get off this thread and keep your insults to yourself. What can you ever possibly contribute to any discussion.

Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 4:46 PM

You started the name calling. Have someone read you your post. You don't own anything on the Salty dog including ant drivel you may start.

Caramel1  (Level: 135.0 - Posts: 21588)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 4:48 PM

Would that not be considered tattling as I believe you accused me or someone else of doing after you created a thread with no other purpose than to trash me? I'm off this thread but you get what you give

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 4:48 PM

I own this, start you own thread. I don't need your comments. You were insulting with the first post.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 4:55 PM

Yes I do, and so far some very nice people have given me some good advice. Now here is some for you, this is not a political post and if you can't contribute to that topic, then start a thread of your own.

Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.8 - Posts: 1302)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 5:33 PM

Back to the question at hand...

I have often found that the best way to get along with someone difficult is to be nice myself. I can't actually change another person, but I can change my own attitude. While it's not always easy to do, try being understanding of why she may be short with you and go out of your way to be nice to her. It may work wonders.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 5:41 PM

Thanks Fudy, I have done just that, I am respectful. I have never been out of line in any way, although she did say one day to me don't get defensive. Who knows maybe I have done something to offend and don't know it. My daughter can't believe I am putting up with that kind of behavior given my temperment. However, I know how it is to be out of work and don't want to make waves at least until I have something else lined up. Way too much negativity from all front office staff at this job. I am glad I only see most of them in passing. I am usually alone on my shift which is great. Hey thanks for all the wonderful advice friends and I knew I could count on you. Hey I am making shrimp and grits for the family want to come over?

Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Tue, 6th Oct '09 6:21 PM

I'll take my shrimp without the grits!
In my experience, people who are mean are deeply unhappy with themselves. Like BigDavy said, it's "their" problem. Just stand up for yourself and realize that something is wrong with them.
Hard stuff. I've been on both sides.

Clevercloggs  (Level: 27.4 - Posts: 1246)
Wed, 7th Oct '09 2:57 AM

In my experience the "christian" bit isn't the problem, the "strict" bit is.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Thu, 8th Oct '09 6:26 PM

Just an update and thanks to all who gave advice. I had an employee meeting today and the young woman was nice as could be like it never happened. Come to find out from my friend there that she has behaved that way with her. So this was not an imaginary incident. I will not tolerate that unprofessional behavior again I can assure you. Thanks for the empowerment.

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