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m48ortal
M48ortal  (Level: 251.6 - Posts: 3742)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 8:59 AM

SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HI T THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.4 - Posts: 5492)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 9:11 AM

ROFL...loved 'em...
Vickie

lowiq
Lowiq  (Level: 205.1 - Posts: 1943)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 9:15 AM

Just tried number three. Works great. Gotta go...the ambulance is pulling in now

lowiq
Lowiq  (Level: 205.1 - Posts: 1943)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 9:15 AM

Just tried number three. Works great. Gotta go...the ambulance is pulling in now

m48ortal
M48ortal  (Level: 251.6 - Posts: 3742)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 11:26 AM

On #5, our family recipe for cough syrup is glycerin, rock candy, and moonshine (although any strong drinkable alcohol will work). The candy soothes the cough tickle. The alcohol opens the breathing passages. The glycerin helps it to coat the throat and stay in place. At least that's what Granny said.

An aunt would add liquid laxative (like castor oil) to the recipe as a motivation to not cough. Also, her firm belief was that if you got the germs out of your body quickly they did less damage.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 2:17 PM

Those were great!

f5laur
F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 10:26 PM

Number 6 has some truth behind it. Both work just fine for anything. Ha haha

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 11:00 PM

Loved them!

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1582)
Tue, 12th Jan '10 11:01 PM

Loved them!


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