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Tuzilla  (Level: 144.4 - Posts: 3839)
Sat, 26th Aug '06 12:26 PM


Cell Phone Crash Clobbers Manhattan

(August 26, 2006)

By April Follis
Times Staff Writer

A freak occurrence threw the Island
of Manhattan into a panic during yesterday’s
noon hours when cell phone service crashed
across the entire borough. At first, people
feared another terrorist attack. However, it
was soon discovered that the terrorists were
rodents who chewed through the covering on a
central trunk line and severed a key
communications network link
“At some point, all of the cell phone
towers on the island are controlled through
this one link,” explained Seymour Brettz of
AT&T. “Severing the line disabled key
interfaces that let the towers communicate
with each other. They were all talking, but
none of them were listening to their
Streets across the entire island were
snarled as a gridlock of accidents and
stalled vehicles clogged the roads. Drivers
on every block were seen sitting, one arm
flapping uselessly, as they tried in vain to
handle their uncooperative vehicles.
“I couldn’t handle it,” sighed Mindy
Kohler as she pressed a cold compress against
a large contusion on her forehead which she
received when her Lexus struck a light pole.
“I tried to steer with both hands, but it was
too confusing. I just lost it.”
The emergency room at Mt. Sinai Hospital was
clogged with injured people from the financial
and fashion districts. “We have treated all
types of injuries,” said Dr. Ira Silverman.
“We have seen slip and falls, injuries from
people walking into objects and each other. You
name it. Apparently these cannot walk and not
talk at the same time.

Suzer22  (Level: 165.6 - Posts: 1982)
Sat, 26th Aug '06 12:40 PM

By April Follis???

Missgeorge  (Level: 63.0 - Posts: 388)
Sat, 26th Aug '06 7:34 PM

This post hit close to home, because on Wednesday,08/23, a lot of us in the Atlanta, GA, area with Cingular Cell Phones were without service for about 2 hours.

Aquamar  (Level: 185.7 - Posts: 925)
Sat, 26th Aug '06 8:34 PM

Too funny!!! Thanks for the laugh Steve.

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