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jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Tue, 16th Mar '10 10:02 PM

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING

I don't know if this topic is so intensely private that no one would wish to participate, but I thought I'd try.

What is one important thing you would change about your life?

I have about 5 big ones (4 having to do with job opportunities and real estate purchases).

But this one is more important. About 11 years ago, my son asked me to help him make a decision. I refused (even though everything inside me screamed to give him my opinion). I was too scared of him being hurt or disappointed if I gave my advice, he took it, and it ended up biting him in the butt.

Today, I know I should have offered my opinion, and let him chew on that advice as he made his decision. Today he knows what I wanted to say. And today he dearly wishes I had told him.



chender
Chender  (Level: 193.7 - Posts: 160)
Tue, 16th Mar '10 10:18 PM

I think it's difficult to look back a decade and see the decision the same way as it was then. You no doubt had good reasons for reacting as you did; it's only later that we look back and say "if only". I'm sure that at the time you did the best you could, for the very best of reasons - don't kick yourself about because of it.

My regrets? Oh so very many. Mostly of omission.

m48ortal
M48ortal  (Level: 251.5 - Posts: 3742)
Tue, 16th Mar '10 10:25 PM

Twenty years ago I had the chance to buy the land adjoining mine, but thought the asking price was too high. The land on the other side was sold about six years ago. If I had bought the first piece, the guy who out bid me on the second piece would not have wanted it.

Now they've both been sold to a mining company, so the land as close as 300 feet from my house will be strip-mined for the coal.

I would have borrowed from my retirement if I knew this was coming.

osuzannacollage
Osuzannacollage  (Level: 132.1 - Posts: 1299)
Tue, 16th Mar '10 11:55 PM


Even though I probably should if given the opportunity to do so, I doubt that I would change many things. Decisions, even though some are later regrettable, are what shape our lives.

Surely I would never marry my husband again. However, a beautiful child came from that union. There's no way I'd ever change that.

Perhaps it's the "little" things that I'd change...an unkind word that has always bothered me, hasty advice, putting off something that has now built up into a problem.

I was actually thinking about this recently. If given the opportunity to go back in time...

It's certainly an interesting question. I can clearly see instances that were life-changers. Still...don't think I'd monkey with much.

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 12:56 AM

I wouldn't marry my first wife.

I would have moved to Europe when I had the chance.

I would've started college sooner, financial troubles and all.



smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 12:57 AM

Wouldn't comment on his fiancee, huh, Jank?

I dunno....my marriage sure feels like a mistake now, but my three kids were worth it.

A lot of small things, I guess.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 5:24 AM

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 7:58 AM

I would have stayed with my first wife and spent so much more time with my sons. Now that the four of them are scattered and I have moved from 'home' as well it's a daily regret. If anyone thinks that giving the best part of your life to an employer is worth it. you'd be wrong.

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 9:50 AM

Sing it, Felix.

sargon
Sargon  (Level: 112.0 - Posts: 1256)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 10:28 AM

Missed a lot of investments. My son in law started working at Water Furnace in Fort Wayne. Stock was selling for under $1 on the Toronto Stock Exchange. I thought about buying some stock. With the energy crisis the stock went up over $25 plus the Canadian dollar made gains during that time.

Maybe I could have retired earlier.



donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 4:10 PM

I would have bought 1000 shares of Wal-Mart in Oct of '74. With the splits I would now be logging in to Sploofus from my yacht.

smoke
Smoke  (Level: 96.7 - Posts: 12009)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 5:20 PM

I would've bought the VHS instead of the BetaMax.

redsox9
Redsox9  (Level: 154.6 - Posts: 1292)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 7:16 PM

I bought a condo in 1985. I like an idiot sold in 1990. That condo would have been 25 years paid for. And now i live in an apartment that is probably twice is much as my mortage was back then. THat one hurts. Oh and the women in my life, Don't get me started.

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 205.4 - Posts: 5492)
Wed, 17th Mar '10 8:42 PM

I wouldn't change very much about my life except maybe instead of getting my LPN license I would have went on instead and gotten my RN. And I would have sung on the Grand Old Opry when I had the chance to at 18...
Vickie

sargon
Sargon  (Level: 112.0 - Posts: 1256)
Thu, 18th Mar '10 7:05 AM

Wow, passing up a chance to sing before a large audience like that. Not many 18 year olds could reisist that opportunity.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 155.2 - Posts: 2478)
Thu, 18th Mar '10 6:53 PM

I would have ended a disasterous relationship, instead of spending years trying to be perfect for a man who was never going to be with me. I got a great kid, out of it, but I should have never, never, never held on as long as I did.

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Thu, 18th Mar '10 8:08 PM

I always wonder what would have happened if I had payed more attention to girls and less on cars. But then when you think of it, a guy needs a whole lot of cars but just one good woman. I guess I did OK in all respects.

smokydevil
Smokydevil  (Level: 163.0 - Posts: 5381)
Thu, 18th Mar '10 9:02 PM

Well, if I can only change one thing, guess for today it'll be my underwear for a change.


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