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Jerrys  (Level: 198.6 - Posts: 334)
Sat, 8th May '10 3:46 PM


Some things you can try:

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall, Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Sandracam  (Level: 149.3 - Posts: 4190)
Sat, 8th May '10 4:27 PM

too funny!

Gypsylady  (Level: 148.1 - Posts: 6096)
Sat, 8th May '10 5:22 PM

Thanks! Made my day!!!


Scrabq  (Level: 76.7 - Posts: 167)
Sat, 8th May '10 6:44 PM

All funny. Lucky I had just finished my coffee or there would have been caffein on the screen.

But seriously, about the hair dryer, a group of parents organised to do that near their school where cars often did not obey the speed limit while kids were crossing to the school gates. They were prosecuted for impersonating the police. Madness! and the drivers were not charged with endangering children's lives.

M48ortal  (Level: 261.6 - Posts: 3826)
Sat, 8th May '10 7:45 PM

I may have gotten the idea from this group, but I once answered the phone at work, "Mr. Marvel's Psychic Parlor, you've dialed a wrong number."

I got tired of nasty remainders in the men's room, so I hung these signs over each urinal and commode, "Test Your Strength! Are you man enough to pull this lever when you finish? (Based on observations, about half of the users are not.) HOW ABOUT YOU?"

Immediate improvement. And the signs are still up two months later.

F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Sat, 8th May '10 11:39 PM

My grown son's just love to play tricks on me or do funny things to me in stores. Key word is grown!
We were out shopping this one time for summer clothes for me, as I needed a much smaller size than i had the year before.
I'm not fond of trying them on in the stores. I just take them back if they don't fit. However, they kept after me to try the darn clothes on in the fitting room, so
I fixed that one. While they were both standing outside the fitting room doors, I yelled out that there is no toilet paper in this one!
Both of them just left the store and waited in the car, while all the ladies knew that they were getting on my nerves. They were all laughing so hard at what I did to fix their butts because they knew my grown boys were being annoying to everyone!
Oh what a proud mom I was that day! bwahaha

M48ortal  (Level: 261.6 - Posts: 3826)
Sun, 9th May '10 7:48 AM

If you spot an unguarded shopping cart in a store, slip some random item into it. My favorite is a four-pack of mousetraps.

Walk up to any group of noisy kids (up to about age 9) and, while counting off on your fingers, say, "One..... Two....." Then pause.

One of my son's friends would always write "For sexual favors" on the subject line of checks he wrote. Some of them were never cashed.

One winter, we created shark fins from the snow in the medians of our town's streets. Before long the local radio station picked up on the idea and was warning motorists to "Beware the snow-sharks."

F5laur  (Level: 31.1 - Posts: 823)
Sun, 9th May '10 9:21 PM

When those checks were never cashed with "for sexual favors" in the subject line, any chance the bills were marked paid??????? Heck, if that can be done, forget this electronic stuff! bwahahaha LOL Thanks for the laugh, but just don't tell my kids this one or I'll be forever broke! haaaaaaa
My oldest, Jimmy 27, used to go to McDonald's drive thru and would say "I'll take a number two, please". The first time, he was talking to me on his blue tooth and I had no clue that the meals were numbered. I was really wondering what in the world is this kid of mine doing?! He just thought I was really stupid for not knowing about the numbered meals and would tease me about it that I'm not up with the times. (I do NOT like fast food, by the way). So one time I was with him when he ordered this number 2. I got him back and yelled to the speaker" Please don't forget the toilet paper with that". Jimmy just about dropped dead out of embarrasment! He drove into a spot and had me go in to pay for his number 2! Since then, he hasn't ordered that particular meal number with me remotely in ear shot!

Aristotle  (Level: 72.7 - Posts: 191)
Mon, 10th May '10 3:40 AM

Can't wait to try some of these!

Jerrys  (Level: 198.6 - Posts: 334)
Mon, 10th May '10 7:14 AM

"If you spot an unguarded shopping cart in a store, slip some random item into it. My favorite is a four-pack of mousetraps."

I think a box of condoms wold be more fun.

Salzypat  (Level: 161.3 - Posts: 5414)
Mon, 10th May '10 12:39 PM

Especially if it's someone in their 70s or 80s. LOL

M48ortal  (Level: 261.6 - Posts: 3826)
Mon, 10th May '10 12:53 PM

Or someone shopping with a gang of kids, but be careful, the little guys might see you.

Bobolicios  (Level: 119.6 - Posts: 1745)
Mon, 10th May '10 1:37 PM

Thanks for the laughs and brightening my day. How many times has anyone gone halfway round a store with
someone elses shopping cart before realizing? Then being so in a trance thinking where is my stuff I have been
here a long time!

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