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Irishpainter  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 224)
Thu, 13th May '10 4:38 PM


Courtesy of my friend Bushyfox aka Bev.

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone gotta to tell Paddy's wife.. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.'

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife..

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Thu, 13th May '10 4:45 PM


Garrybl  (Level: 289.3 - Posts: 6734)
Thu, 13th May '10 5:06 PM

You see I thought the last three lines would be:

Is that the Widow Gallagher?

I'm Gallagher but I'm not a widow!

You want to bet?

Wiseoldowl  (Level: 32.0 - Posts: 479)
Thu, 13th May '10 7:05 PM

Now, isn't that just like a man?!? Hiding the truth, and then making us poor women feel guilty for something we didn't do!

All joking aside (no pun intended), it was a good one, Clem, and it made me smile

Mplaw51  (Level: 182.8 - Posts: 1581)
Thu, 13th May '10 7:27 PM

That's a joke I'll repeat!!!

Irishpainter  (Level: 163.1 - Posts: 224)
Fri, 14th May '10 3:16 AM

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?'

'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.

'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.'

'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.

'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'

'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'

Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Fri, 14th May '10 8:53 PM


Virtus  (Level: 168.3 - Posts: 2487)
Fri, 14th May '10 10:14 PM

Smiles and giggles times 2!!

Jerrys  (Level: 196.7 - Posts: 334)
Fri, 14th May '10 10:38 PM

An Irish irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road.
The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!"
The Irish priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?"
The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken."
The Irish priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves."
The Rabbi takes the flask, gulps a large swallow and hands the flask back to the Irish priest.
The Irish priest puts the flask back in his coat, whereupon the Rabbi asks "Aren't you going to take a sip"?
The Irish priest replies "No, I think I'll wait for the cops".

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