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Maurlin  (Level: 221.5 - Posts: 2718)
Mon, 24th May '10 10:05 PM


King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it"."But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested."Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied,

[ready...can you feel it coming]...

"When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

Scrabq  (Level: 76.7 - Posts: 167)
Tue, 25th May '10 7:14 AM

Snow White had taken a roll of film featuring the seven dwarfs and had taken it in for developing. She was told to come back in three days. When she did so, the photos were still not ready.

She was not really concerned, as she sang, "Some day my prints will come."

Jerrys  (Level: 200.1 - Posts: 334)
Tue, 25th May '10 7:47 AM

Three Indian (U.S., now Asian) brothers married three Indian sisters on the same day. As was the custom, each brave gave his bride a wedding gift.

The first brave give his new wife a bear skin, the second a buffalo skin, and the third (after searching high and low for a unique gift), a hippopotamus skin.

Well, nine months go by and all the new wives are pregnant. The first wife has a baby boy, the second a baby girl. The third wife had twins, a boy and a girl.

Which proves the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.

Jerrys  (Level: 200.1 - Posts: 334)
Tue, 25th May '10 1:38 PM

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'
'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

The bee answered,

Wait for it. wait for it.

You're just gonna love this.


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