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Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 15th Nov '06 1:00 AM


I missed this we go:

Loyalty in Marriage

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for
several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One
day, he motioned for her to come nearer.

She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know wh at?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with

"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me."

Maurlin  (Level: 221.5 - Posts: 2717)
Wed, 15th Nov '06 6:02 AM

I love it!!!

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Wed, 15th Nov '06 3:23 PM

There may be offensive language toward the end, please forgive me
for forwarding it but, we must face facts: Life can be rough!

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"

Oh, Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So
romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mama, as soon
as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things
I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!
You've got to take me home...,


"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay
with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so

WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm
so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell
your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: "dust", "wash", "iron", "cook"..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 15th Nov '06 11:49 PM

Love that Foxy...wish I had cried to mommy...

Smeans  (Level: 109.2 - Posts: 301)
Thu, 16th Nov '06 12:03 PM

A young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet.

As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.

The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions."

The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her.

She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions."

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.

She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.

2. Splash on some nice perfume.

3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.

4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow
the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."

So, the blonde calls the pet store.

The man says, "I'll be right over."

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.

The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

Twoxfourman  (Level: 82.4 - Posts: 153)
Thu, 16th Nov '06 4:45 PM

Our beer
Which art in bottles
Hallowed be thy sport
Thy will be drunk
I will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us each day our daily beverage
And forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who spillest against us
And lead us not into poofy wine tasting
And deliver us from Tequila
For mine is the bitter
The chicks and the rugger
Forever and ever
Our Cash
Which art on plastic
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Fossil watch
Thy Gucci bag
In Stuttafords
As it is in Dolce & Gabana
Give us each day our Platinum Visa
And forgive us our overdraft
As we forgive those who stop our Mastercard
And lead us not into DKNY
And deliver us from Diesel
For thine is the Levis, the Dior and the Armani For Chanel No.5
And Eternity

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