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Mindmonkey  (Level: 279.1 - Posts: 295)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 1:09 AM


That settles it. Sploofus will not be complete until somebody writes a quiz on Famous Artichokes, or, alternatively, Artichokes I Have Known and Loved. The call goes out.

Aslan  (Level: 27.6 - Posts: 356)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 7:25 AM

It must include the Ned Flanders quote: 'Okie Dokey Artichokie'.

Kaufman  (Level: 267.9 - Posts: 3941)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 9:31 AM

As I recall, Rasputin was artichoke. And poison. And drown.

Garrybl  (Level: 291.8 - Posts: 6772)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 9:33 AM

William Blake wrote a hymn to the Artichoke.
It was called Jerusalem.


Mindmonkey  (Level: 279.1 - Posts: 295)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 11:33 AM

Is that On Milton where he talks about "Dark, satanic artichokes in England's green and pleasant land?"

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.8 - Posts: 3839)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 2:42 PM

I think I may never hear a joke
As lovely as an artichoke

A artichoke prest with some beer
That can too all provide good cheer

A choke that lets God laugh all day
Pleasing the palate all of the way

A choke that on a plate may wear
A vinaigrette all made with care

Upon your happy tongue is lain
Fresher than a new day spring rain

Jokes are made by any silly bloke
Only God makes the artichoke

Oh ya...artichoke quiz is in the hopper.

Mindmonkey  (Level: 279.1 - Posts: 295)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 3:26 PM

Somehow, I knew we could count on you. First, ask yourself the question: "Is it art?" Then, remember, when you are writing this great literature, don't choke.

By the way, ever heard of Sun Tzu's great book, "The Art of Choke?"

Nickdanger  (Level: 162.5 - Posts: 62)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 8:25 PM

Famous artist jokes??


What advice did Seurat's mother give him (that he, of course, ignored)?

Don't point, it's rude.

Nickdanger  (Level: 162.5 - Posts: 62)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 8:27 PM

Hmmm... I think there may actually be a quiz in this... I call dibs.


Suzer22  (Level: 165.6 - Posts: 1982)
Mon, 2nd Apr '07 10:18 PM

I think Tuzilla beat you to it a few posts above.

In Scottsdale, Arizona there is a Community College with a strong emphasis on arts and academics. The students got upset when some administrator said they needed to have a mascot, like the sports oriented schools. In protest (I think it was in the 70s) the student body voted for the mascot to be the Artichoke, and the school colors are pink and white.

Check it out here:

You will also find lots of other artichoke facts and recipes on SCC's website. I'm not sure where I heard the pink and white part...

Mindmonkey  (Level: 279.1 - Posts: 295)
Tue, 3rd Apr '07 2:02 AM

Since this thread has officially degenerated into a description of college mascots, I will artily choke back my amazement and poot forth my candidate for the greatest, most distinguished mascot of all time: The Evergreen State College's famous Flying Geoduck.

They don't seem to fly anymore, but they once did--I know since I once possessed a Flying Geoduck t-shirt. For those who wonder, "What is a Flying Geoduck," I can only say that they seldom resemble artichokes.

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.8 - Posts: 3839)
Tue, 3rd Apr '07 2:06 PM

My neighbor drives one of them. It gets good gas mileage, but rides like a kid's little red wagon.

Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Tue, 3rd Apr '07 5:28 PM


I seem to remember a story about a budget-priced hitman named Arti.
He would dispose of someone for only a low price.
It seems he was contracted to bump off someone's wife whilst she was in the supermarket.
Arti had only the vaguest of descriptions of his quarry, however, and saw three women who looked just like the one he was supposed to do away with.
So...being thorough in his quest, he got rid of all three: however, he was apprehended immediately by an off-duty police officer in the same supermarket.

Later, the newspaper headlines read:~

"Arti chokes 3 for $1"

(no apologies!)

Aslan  (Level: 27.6 - Posts: 356)
Tue, 3rd Apr '07 9:29 PM

Dear Arti:
Do you travel to Australia? If so, I have one of the three I need.
Not Sincerely,

Sbrittches  (Level: 125.7 - Posts: 38)
Wed, 4th Apr '07 10:47 AM

In 1947, Marilyn Monroe was crowned the first Artichoke Queen in Castroville, California, the self-proclaimed "artichoke capital of the world". Who knew!!

Marynuala  (Level: 140.2 - Posts: 996)
Mon, 9th Apr '07 2:56 PM

Wow Tuzilla! You should be a Poet Laureate.

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.8 - Posts: 3839)
Mon, 9th Apr '07 7:00 PM

I have some higher aims with a few writings, but I have had some poetry published a few times, and not in those publications where "you" pay for the privilege.

I am working on "Ode on a Grecian Turdbug".

Missashlee  (Level: 125.6 - Posts: 543)
Mon, 9th Apr '07 8:53 PM

I am looking forward to the Ode!

In my literature search, I found this. I believe it was written by John Dung:

"No Sploofuser is an island, entire of itself … never send to know for whom the turd bug rolls; it rolls for thee."

Mindmonkey  (Level: 279.1 - Posts: 295)
Mon, 9th Apr '07 11:22 PM

My God! Is this an obsession?

Can't we rename Mr. T. Bug? Harvey, perhaps?

Texlewee  (Level: 34.1 - Posts: 601)
Mon, 16th Apr '07 1:05 AM

So now in straits I do remember,
The turdbug I squashed in late November.
Its odiferious malign a hellish wonder,
Its exploding wrath; a sound of thunder.

Its misery spread to the nations,
And beelzebub danced in great elation,
as curses arose from dwellings there,
And threats of murder to some, beware.

The slow times set upon a rietous mob,
And Satan's lot could not a finer job
be devoted to the end of man
than the slowly trickling of "timed out" sand.

But, for me there's calm in the fact of knowing,
that hundredths of seconds for me, not showing,
Will make no difference for the 1st place I strive.
Alas, texlewee can't break 35.

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