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1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Fri, 11th May '07 2:09 PM

NEOLOGISMS

I got this in an e-mail today and just had to share it. It is really funny. I noticed that one of them was even in a recent word puzzle. Someone (not me, I am not that clever) should come up with an original quiz of their own neologisms. Any takers?

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon , a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism , (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

5. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon : its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole




1mks
1mks  (Level: 211.2 - Posts: 5887)
Fri, 11th May '07 2:11 PM

Don't know how the "thumbs down" signs got in there. I didn't put them there.

aslan
Aslan  (Level: 27.6 - Posts: 356)
Fri, 11th May '07 5:34 PM

The emoticon code for the thumbs down is parentheses letter n close parentheses. It looks like this: ( n ) When you included the period in the noun indicator, you were fine; when it was left out, the system interpreted it as an emoticon code.

marynuala
Marynuala  (Level: 133.8 - Posts: 994)
Fri, 11th May '07 8:33 PM

I wrote a Sploofus quiz entitled Neologisms (19/03/06), but it was about new words accepted by the OED, and not the clever word play like this. But food for thought...


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