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donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Mon, 28th May '07 12:17 PM

OLD AGE

Life at the Florida Mobile Home Park

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates,
a Florida mobile home park. A man walked over and sat down at
the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks,
"Are tou a stranger here?"

He replies, " I lived here years ago"

"So,,where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"Why did they put you in prison?"

He looked at her and said quietly, "I killed my wife"

"Oh!" Said the woman. "So your single.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was telling a neighbor in Trailer Estates, "I just
bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it's state of the art,,,perfect." "Really,"
answered the neighbor, "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty"



eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Mon, 28th May '07 2:24 PM

Two elderly gentlemen were sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch of the retirement home, discussing the weather and comparing today's sports legends to the legends of long ago. Right in the middle of their conversation, old Bessie comes running through the front yard, devoid of all her clothing.

Harry leans over to George and asks "Was that old Bessie that just ran by here?"

"Yup" says George.

"What was that she was wearing?" asked Harry.

"Dunno," says George, "But it sure needed ironed."

gille
Gille  (Level: 72.0 - Posts: 28)
Mon, 28th May '07 2:46 PM

A 92 year old man was driving on the interstate when his cell phone rang. It was his wife warning him to be careful because a car on the highway was driving the wrong way.
"One!" he said. There's hundreds!!

violetblue
Violetblue  (Level: 112.2 - Posts: 850)
Mon, 28th May '07 8:02 PM



tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.2 - Posts: 3779)
Mon, 28th May '07 8:13 PM

Three old men, one 70, one 80 and one 90, were sitting front of the home talking. The 70-year old man say, "Ya know. I would give anything to just take a big, healthy #1. I haven't taken one in 10 years. It is terrible."
The 80-year old says, "That is bad, but it is nothing compared to me. I haven't taken a good #2 in 15-20 years. I can survive the bad #1s. But I would give everything to take a good #2."
Then the 90-years says, "You both are putzes. You don't know what real problems are. Every morning I take a #1 like a race horse at seven o'clock. At eight o'clock I take a huge #2 like fattened up hog. Oy."
The two of them look at him in amazement. "What's your problem?" they both say. "That sounds like heaven."
I don't get up until nine o'clock," he replies.

kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 257.2 - Posts: 3936)
Mon, 28th May '07 9:30 PM

An 85-year-old man enters a confessional. "Father, for the past month I've been having sexual relations with a beautiful 19-year-old."

After a brief pause, the priest finally asks, "How long has it been since your last confession?"

"Huh? Never. I'm Jewish."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling EVERYONE!"



larrybus
Larrybus  (Level: 307.8 - Posts: 383)
Fri, 1st Jun '07 2:12 AM

Maybe she read Gille's post:


Driver makes two U-turns on Interstate 5


Associated Press Thu May 31, 10:15 PM ET

MARYSVILLE, Wash. - A "confused" driver made two U-turns on Interstate 5, nearly causing two head-on crashes, then exited from the freeway before she could be stopped, state troopers said.

"I'm amazed, I'm stunned we didn't have a fatal collision," Washington State Patrol Trooper Kirk H. Rudeen said.

The driver could not be located immediately following the harrowing episode Wednesday morning near this town about 30 miles north of Seattle, but a license plate number provided by a witness led investigators to a 71-year-old woman who admitted responsibility, Rudeen said.

"She said she got confused," he said.

Witnesses told troopers a tan Honda entered the northbound lanes of the state's busiest freeway at 88th Street Northeast, then abruptly turned around and began driving south — against traffic — in the far left lane.

One driver managed to swerve out of the way, but another lost control of his car, hit a cable barrier and wound up on the shoulder of the road uninjured, Rudeen said.

About two-tenths of a mile farther, the Honda made another U-turn and headed north, exiting at 88th Street Northeast, where witnesses lost sight of it.

The driver, the registered owner of the car, was not arrested but the patrol will recommend that she face charges and be required to retake a driver's license examination, Rudeen said.





markieboy
Markieboy  (Level: 260.0 - Posts: 198)
Fri, 1st Jun '07 4:13 AM

Two old ladies sitting on a park bench feeding the birds when a pervert in a mac sidles up and exposes himself.

One of the old ladies had a stroke, but the other couldn't reach.......



donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Fri, 1st Jun '07 10:31 AM

Larry, I once had a 77 year old neighbor who drove straight through the back of his garage, not just once, but twice. After the second disaster he told the neighbors he was turning the driving over to his wife who was only 72.


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