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tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.2 - Posts: 3779)
Fri, 9th Nov '07 9:28 AM

DEW ONTO OTHER...

...means you forgot about grandma and grandpa and left them sitting in their chairs out in the yard all night.

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Fri, 9th Nov '07 4:48 PM

...and relative-humidity is when your cousin's baby pees in your lap.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Sun, 11th Nov '07 10:33 AM

Wind warnings when you ate beans the night before....

skylooker
Skylooker  (Level: 26.1 - Posts: 5)
Wed, 28th Nov '07 8:44 PM

"onto"? Did you mean "unto"? Like in the Golden Rule. - If I eat all this cake, then sis won't have a belly ache.

skylooker
Skylooker  (Level: 26.1 - Posts: 5)
Wed, 28th Nov '07 8:51 PM

Oops! I should have read more thoroughly. Nice play on words Tuzilla.

Dew onto others:
Like peeing on a turtle.

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Fri, 7th Dec '07 12:30 AM

Pap smear.....grandfather was run over by a steamroller

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Fri, 7th Dec '07 1:05 AM

...and get decaffeinated at the bovine abortion clinic

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Fri, 7th Dec '07 8:29 AM

ROTFLMAO @ Oogie!

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Fri, 7th Dec '07 8:40 AM

And if we hold Oogie's calf up just above our noses, I guess it'll be pasteurised...




I'll get my coat.

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 7th Dec '07 8:51 AM

(Gestures menacingly with a pitchfork)

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Sat, 8th Dec '07 12:54 AM

LOL Good one Lare....didya hear bout the obese physician who dabbled in weather forecasting.....he was a meaty urologist

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.3 - Posts: 1025)
Sat, 8th Dec '07 2:51 AM

...or about the optician who backed into his lens grinding machine and got a little behind in his work?

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.3 - Posts: 1025)
Sat, 8th Dec '07 3:11 AM

...or the depressed urological plastic surgeon who hung himself?

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Sun, 9th Dec '07 11:21 PM

...or the woman who backed into a fan? DisASTher!

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Sun, 9th Dec '07 11:42 PM

Mahatma Gandhi as an ascetic had a poor diet,probably bad breath, was small and frail, and walked barefoot most often. Mary Poppins sang that he was a.......super-calloused-fragile-mystic vexed by halitosis

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 6:47 AM

Bwahahahahaha!

Not a lot of people know this but...
When Garry Kasparov met Bobby Fischer, they each raised a glass to one another in the hotel reception area - meaning, festively enough,
there were chess-nuts toasting in an open foyer.








(I'm truly sorry for that one)

achad
Achad  (Level: 204.5 - Posts: 661)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 1:18 PM

A few years ago Glasgow Celtic lost to Inverness Caledonian Thistle (a bit like the Redskins or your local US equivalent losing to a college team) and we had the headline in the sports papers: (on the Mary Poppins theme) "Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious"

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 6:44 PM

LOL Good one Andy, I like a newsrag with a sense of humor.

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.2 - Posts: 3779)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 7:42 PM

Then again, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 193.3 - Posts: 1025)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 8:25 PM

Besides that, there was once a man who had five...er, wait a minute, can't say that here...



Well anyway, his pants fit him like a glove.

kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 257.1 - Posts: 3936)
Mon, 10th Dec '07 9:07 PM

I once sent nine puns on the subject of milk to a friend. Email arrival being undependable in those days, one arrived, but my friend lactate ...

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Tue, 11th Dec '07 11:48 AM

He'd probably already herd the udders.

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Tue, 11th Dec '07 1:57 PM

Ruminating over the direction of this thread....

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Tue, 11th Dec '07 9:04 PM

Hay! Cud you repeat that? I may need to digest it a few times before it settles in ...

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Wed, 12th Dec '07 12:29 AM

Then there was the male llama, who upon meeting a female llama replied" No S**t!! Your name is really Dolly!?"

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Wed, 12th Dec '07 2:01 PM

(Aforementioned donkey was chums with a Panda named Sancho)

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.5 - Posts: 1120)
Wed, 12th Dec '07 4:16 PM

Noticed one of the larger zoos trying everything to get their pandas to mate, finally resorted to x-rated audio-video....it was Panda-Moania


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