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Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Thu, 29th Nov '07 2:06 PM


It's a mite late, but I though I'd attempt to cheer up my English chums after their most recent amusing football escapades.

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.

"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.

(For the benefit of everyone else, England did not qualify for the upcoming European Championships. Neither did Scotland, but we managed to play quite well whereas England...
well, let's just say they could've done better...

...if they'd let my 5 month old daughter pick the team.)

Pyoung  (Level: 37.2 - Posts: 21)
Thu, 29th Nov '07 4:12 PM

I would just like to ask you Scottish guys how does it feel like NOT to qualify for a major international championship???
Until now us English dont know!!!

Garrybl  (Level: 294.1 - Posts: 6802)
Fri, 30th Nov '07 12:21 AM

and as an Englishman albeit one living in USa I'd like to say we are quite hapy for Scotsment to qualify for the WC or EC. We dont even mind if you win all your qualifying matches (and dont qualify for the next stage) none of us would think that was all

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