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kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 21st Dec '07 11:31 AM

CHRISTMAS / FAMILY / RITUAL

I'm very lucky because several years ago my Mom went back to school & got her masters in Marriage & Family Therapy - my only complaint is that she wasn't this smart when I was growing up - otherwise I might not have been so messed up -

This was her note to me this morning - and I'm inlcuding a link to the pdf she refers to - it's 23 pages - so be prepared - but I found it interesting and I think others might too.

=================
Christmas . . .

a.. It's the most wonderful time of the year . . .
b.. I'll be home for Christmas . . .
c.. I'm dreaming of a White Christmas . . .
d.. I'll have a blue Christmas without you . . .
The holidays - we have intense emotional reactions to this time of year ranging from joyous and celebratory to guilt and disappointment. After all, the holidays are supposed to make us feel wonderful, not sad and melancholy. Many people feel that something must be wrong with them. What generally causes these holiday blues? Here are a few of the different causes and triggers:

a.. Expectations of the holiday that are too high for reality to measure up to
b.. Unrealistic expectations for yourself during the holiday
c.. Being with family or friends who you have issues with
d.. Dissatisfaction over your financial or material prosperity
e.. Sadness over the loss of a friend or family member
f.. Increased stress and more hectic lifestyle
g.. Lack of sleep and less-healthy nutrition
h.. The commercialization of the season

Take a few minutes to read the "Christmas" chapter from Bill Doherty's book, The Intentional Family.
http://www.drbilldoherty.org/pdf/Christmas.pdf
You may find some new ways of thinking about Christmas that might be useful.

My wish for you is a "good enough" Christmas - not one that is so wonderful it can never be repeated, or one that is so awful it can never be forgotten - one that is just "good enough" so that each member of your family can say, "This is a pretty good family to be part of."
================

I'm lucky - I have lots of family, in the form of my biological family, my community family & my sploofus family -

I hope you appreciate this as much as I did.


eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Fri, 21st Dec '07 11:56 AM

I have often been compared to Clark Griswold for my expectations of holidays, vacations, etc. Not sure why but I do know that this Christmas is going to be the very best damn Christmas EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 21st Dec '07 12:06 PM

Just so you know - for those that think that excerpt might be a "lecture" - it's not - it is 23 pages - but much of it had me in stitches - including the "marriage into new rituals" - I saw myself there - and of course - my way is right - and all have come around!

So take a few minutes - I think input would interesting from those that read it.


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