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Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Sun, 23rd Dec '07 4:17 PM


Merry Christmas everyone! Here's some Christmas cracker (bonbon) jokes for you!

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?

What did one Christmas Angel say to the other ?
Halo there

How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
"A merry Christmas to ewe"

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary who?
Mary Christmas

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow business like show business

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger (Hiya 420!)

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues

What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you

Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs

How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
Don't feed it

Why did Santa wear black boots?
Because his brown ones were all muddy

How long should a reindeer's legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach?
Because he didn't want to be recognised

Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
The smallest ones

Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them

What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
Baby reindeer

What’s the difference between a biscuit and a reindeer?
You can't dunk a reindeer in your tea

If a reindeer lost his tail, where would it go for a new one?
A retail shop

Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
Because they're the only ones who know where they itch

What did the dog say to the reindeer?
Woof, woof

What’s the difference between a reindeer and a grape?
They're both purple, except for the reindeer

What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
Frost bite

What's white, furry and smells of mint?
A polo bear

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats

What did the snowman order at McDonalds?
Iceburgers with chilli sauce

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

Who delivers Christmas presents to cats?
Santa Paws

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe-hoe-hoe.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

Father to three-year old: "No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna.

Teacher: Why did you bring that Christmas plant to school?
Student: Don't worry. It's just for the holly-days.

Nope, I did NOT claim they were GOOD jokes!


Oogie54  (Level: 209.2 - Posts: 1120)
Sun, 23rd Dec '07 8:57 PM

Good ones Bev

Salzypat  (Level: 161.3 - Posts: 5414)
Sun, 23rd Dec '07 10:49 PM

thanks for some good chuckles.

Markieboy  (Level: 269.4 - Posts: 198)
Mon, 24th Dec '07 6:42 AM

Hey Bev - some of them were as undigestible as left over Christmas Pudding..... !

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