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Chyenn  (Level: 200.8 - Posts: 1332)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 8:14 PM


Some of you knew that my Dad has been battling cancer for a long time. Last night (Tuesday Feb 5) he lost that battle.

The last time I saw him was his 80th birthday in April 2006. We talked on the phone daily. I called him in the hospital the day before he died. He knew my voice and we talked about my childhood. I will treasure that call now.

The hardest thing for me is, that due to my health issues, I can't travel 500 miles to be with my family in Tennessee for the funeral on Friday.

Mom and Dad would have celebrated 51 yrs together on March 8. Mom kept Dad at home until 10 days ago.

I appreciate all the prayers and notes I've received already. Please keep sending those positive thoughts for us as we journey this new, uncharted path without him.


Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 8:30 PM

Do you have family close by or close friends with whom you could have your own memorial service coinciding with the funeral?

Could someone videotape or audiotape the funeral and send to you?

Could you keep a cellphone open so you could hear the funeral from where you are?

I can't imagine how you must feel, or how frustrating it must be to want to be at the funeral so much. My heart hurts for you. My dad was 87 when he finally succumbed to cancer. It was hard enough being here with him and getting to be here for the service.

Is there anything else we can do for you, more than thoughts and prayers?

Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 8:41 PM

Cheynn, my condolences on your loss. It is the most difficult thing to lose a parent, prepared or not.

My thoughts are with you through all this.


Mplaw51  (Level: 176.9 - Posts: 1582)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 8:46 PM

Perhaps you could write your thoughts and happy memories of your Dad and they could be read at the viewing or service. If in no other way, you could have a chance to participate at this sad time. Please accept my sympathy for your loss. It is never easy.
I lost my father on April 1, '07 and writing his eulogy kept my spirits up during that very sad time, sort of smiling through the tears remembering the happy times and antics he was famous for. The cellphone is a great idea also. Explore all the ways you can be there without being there, but know he knows you'll be thinking of him. Be well, soon there will be a new normal and your sadness won't be so heavy.

Osuzannacollage  (Level: 132.1 - Posts: 1299)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 8:58 PM

Chyenn, you and your entire family are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless! Some very good ideas have been expressed here, and it's our hope that you will be able to implement some of them. May God bring you comfort in this difficult time.


Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2856)
Wed, 6th Feb '08 11:57 PM

Hi again Chyenn,
MpLaw51 seems to have a very good suggestion....if it appeals to you.
To write some things about your Father, that someone can read on your
behalf at the service on Friday. That way you can feel as if you are

Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 12:02 AM

So sorry to hear of your loss Chyenn. My Prayers are with you.


Bushyfox  (Level: 174.4 - Posts: 2403)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 12:03 AM heart goes out to you for your loss. I have been thru this heartache with much-loved people, and it never gets any easier. I had to say goodbye to my beloved Alaskan "sister" over the phone coz I could not afford to fly to her side: that broke my heart.

Perhaps you could light a candle and say some prayers for your Dad, remembering happier times together. Have some loving person nearby to give you hugs as you need them: someone who will listen to your grief as you need to talk it out.

Ask God to watch over your Dad's spirit, and to help you thru your anguish.

Hugs, Bev

Chyenn  (Level: 200.8 - Posts: 1332)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 12:27 AM

After reading Janice's suggestion about video taping the service, i called a cousin in TN who is a part time photographer. I knew she videoed weddings but how about a funeral?

She said she would be happy to tape it for me. I called Mom to make sure it wouldn't offend anyone and she thought it was a great idea since i couldn't be there.

It IS a great idea and i am so grateful you suggested it, Janice.

i think i can actually take a cue from Dad and write out some of the things he was remembering during our last phone call. perhaps my kids will want a copy. might be just the thing to give to my oldest daughter who is expecting my first grandchild in June.

You have inspired me. it really does help knowing you care. As many have said before the care and concern we have for each other here is awesome.

Geophile  (Level: 157.0 - Posts: 1508)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 12:54 AM

I think Bev's idea is a great one; light a candle for your dad and think of all the good times you had with him. A videotape of the funeral is not unusual and I think it is a wonderful idea. I hope that brings you comfort. I will say a special prayer for you too and I wish you peace.

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 6:51 AM

I'm most glad you weren't offended by my suggestions. (I worried.)

My dad only lived 3 weeks after we found out he had cancer. I brought my videocamera in and filmed him telling stories and singing (which, bless his heart, took all his effort, but he loved to sing). I'm not very proud of myself to admit I've never been strong enough to watch them, and it's been 4 years. Thankfully and hopefully, you are and will be much stronger than I.

Gypsylady  (Level: 140.9 - Posts: 6036)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 7:26 AM

Cheyenn, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad! God bless you and watch over you in the days ahead!


Papajensai  (Level: 189.7 - Posts: 1025)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 7:58 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother died a few years ago after a similar lengthy struggle, and although she was old and I'm no kid, it was so very hard. Now, I can see my mother looking out at me from my grandchildren's eyes sometimes. You will soon see what I mean. It will get better, although it may be hard now to see how it possibly can.

Lettermanfan1  (Level: 88.3 - Posts: 486)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 8:40 AM

I am so sorry for your loss and I will pray for you and your family.
Videoing the service is a wonderful idea. My mom's funeral 6 years ago was a real celebration of her life, with many people getting up and speaking about what she meant to them. I often wish we had thought of videoing it since my sisters and I were in such a daze at the time.
Love to you and yours.

Zeedee  (Level: 222.1 - Posts: 1088)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 9:51 AM

Chyenn, my prayers are with you and with all of your family during this difficult time.

Joanneeberlin  (Level: 181.9 - Posts: 686)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 10:17 AM

My deepest condolences for you and your family. I lost my father also to cancer. It's so hard to lose a parent. We're all here together for you and you'll be in our thoughts and prayers.


Winddancer41  (Level: 63.3 - Posts: 1113)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 10:54 AM

Chyenn, Having lost both of my parents i also know the pain you are feeling. Please know my most loving wishes and prayers are with you in your time of sorrow. charlotte

Nelly  (Level: 169.5 - Posts: 1167)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 1:26 PM

Chyenn so very sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and your family.

Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 7:00 PM

Sorry for your loss...keeping you in my thoughts.

4getful1  (Level: 173.8 - Posts: 2876)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 7:47 PM


My thoughts and prayers are with you right now and during the days and weeks to come. May God comfort you and bless you with many happy memories and abundant support during your period of grief.



Chyenn  (Level: 200.8 - Posts: 1332)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 8:05 PM

the love, care, and support i've gotten from everyone is wonderful.

i don't know how to tell you what you mean to me.

the best to you all.



Eileeny  (Level: 66.5 - Posts: 240)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 9:19 PM

So very sorry I know what you are going through, i was in a similar situation not so long ago my family in England and I in Canada, It helped me to talk on the phone with my family, and some wonderful people here at Sploofus, we are all here for you and my prayers are with you and your family.. God bless..

Tazmaniac72  (Level: 186.1 - Posts: 213)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 10:01 PM

I wanted to add my condolences and prayers to you during this hard time for you. It's wonderful that you got to share that phone call with him, so that you both had some good smiles and memories. I lost my dad almost three years ago, and I'm thankful that we were able to have some good times together after a number of years of being distant. Those good memories keep them close to you, and never too far away.

Embee  (Level: 86.7 - Posts: 362)
Thu, 7th Feb '08 10:16 PM

My heart goes out to you. You're in my thoughts.

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