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Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 9:25 AM


I got my friend, who has fallen on some hard times, a gift membership to a gym for Christmas. Next thing I know, she is complaining indignantly to the management that they have not added more treadmills!! I feel embarrassed and very regretful. What should I do?

Ehodgson  (Level: 136.8 - Posts: 64)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 9:35 AM

Gee, that's odd we just had someone complaining about this site.

Salzypat  (Level: 154.4 - Posts: 5295)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 9:50 AM

If your town is large enough, do nothing. Most of the people won't know you're connected to her in any way, or that you bought her the membership.

If the owner/manager of the gym is a friend of yours and the subject comes up, you might want to just say you're sorry you brought this person into the gym, but otherwise, you aren't responsible for this friend's manners.

Isn't it amazing how someone will take a lovely gesture, a gift (that probably wasn't cheap) and be among the first to complain when it isn't exactly the way they want it? Don't let this experience stop you from being thoughtful and generous -- thank goodness most aren't so tactless.

Papajensai  (Level: 189.7 - Posts: 1025)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 10:19 AM

Careful. She's liable to tell you where you can stick your gym, even as she continues to use it.

Papajensai  (Level: 189.7 - Posts: 1025)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 10:21 AM

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 10:21 AM

Chances are, Robin, that the friend was going to complain anyway. Some people are just like that. And you probably knew she was a chronic complainer and hoped the "gift" would make her more appreciative. However, some people are just a$$holes, and despite our best intentions, people just don't change. They are who they are.

If it were me, I would tell the friend exactly what I think, then, after getting it off my chest, I would choose not to think about the embarrassment she caused, but instead of the income I generated on behalf of the "gym."

Koota  (Level: 180.6 - Posts: 2097)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 10:32 AM

I worked in a small gym some time back which gave a free membership to the sister of our best cardio instructor. Our instructer was a gem. Her sister was a jerk. We did regret extending the membership to the jerk sister, but her behavior did not affect how we felt about our instructor.

If you know the owners of the gym well, tell them you didn't know that she would be so high maintenance, and let it go. Her behavior doesn't reflect on you.

Chyenn  (Level: 200.8 - Posts: 1332)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 11:41 AM

Robin, my dad had a saying, "some people won't taste pies in a pie factory." of course, he applied it to those too lazy to work; but i think it would apply to anyone who displays an attitude of 'entitlement' over humble gratitude.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 12:42 PM

It's hard when you give something to people and they don't appreciate it.

I've fallen on hard times - and was given an anonymous platinum membership (I found out who it was but since they wish to remain anonymous I'll leave it that way - but I am MOST grateful).

Gratefulness is something that many people lack - I have a difficult time even with my children getting them to write thank you notes...but it's not an option - when they see a note hanging on my Mom's refrigerator, they realize just how much it DOES mean.

I have a husband who says "I'd rather have someone just tell me thanks"...I don't need anything like that...maybe a guy thing - who knows.

I have thank you cards, stored away. 10 years ago, I helped a boy learned to read that was having difficulties. I still have the first "A" he made on a spelling test where he sent it to me through his teach with a "Thank you for helping me Miss Lorri". He graduated last year - and having that paper means something to me, although it might not to someone else.

I have thank you cards from my grandmother, who taught me HOW to be grateful. She will have passed away 10 years ago this year, but what she said in those thank you notes with her own handwriting, still means something to me, and I pull them out occasionally - yes - I'm sentimental - but it also reminds me of how it feels to be appreciated, even when pulling a long ago memory.

I have websites I have done for non-profit organizations, and donated web space to them. Some, although not all, are the biggest whiners I've got...they always want more and want it NOW.

It certainly has made me reconsider donations. I only have 3 now...everyone else has to pay, although I normally will discount it, because they take up my valuable time when I need to be making money - just like everyone else.

For Christmas I sent my husband's daughter, whom has two children, several gifts for Christmas & her birthday, including a beautiful ring. Her daddy apparently told her he was going to send her 100.00 too - and then he quit his job...he didn't do "any" of the work, and I didn't put 100.00 in there because I didn't promise it to her, and I wasn't going to take the 100.00 I had put away to spend on my 13 & 16 year old. I finally asked my husband if his daughter had gotten th gifts, if she had liked them, if her girls liked, them, because I had not heard a thing after a month. HIS response was you didn't put 100.00 in there like I promised and she wanted to know where it was.

I said, and did you tell her you no longer had a job, and that "I" had bought all her gifts and sent everything? Did she say if she even liked the Aquamarine & Sterling Silver ring I had sent her...he said no.

When Christmas comes up, one of the things my children have to do is go through their clothes and their accumulated items. Those that they do not wear, or do not use any longer, that are in good / great condition are given to our women's shelter...because I want to teach my children the art of giving as well as being grateful.

Okay - yeah, big griping here - but I know how you feel, especially since things are so rough on us right now. I always try to be grateful, and while I don't "demand" gratefulness or "thank you's", it sure as heck makes a difference who gets my generosity, time & resources the next time...people NEED to feel appreciated even if they don't expect it...

Stepping down off soap box...hanging head...apologizing for rant...thanking AGAIN my membership donor...

Geophile  (Level: 157.0 - Posts: 1508)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 1:54 PM

Whenever we have been invited out to dinner by friends, I make it a point never ever to say the food was lousy, the service was bad, etc., and many times this has been the case. You keep your mouth shut and send a thank you note to your hosts no matter what, thanking them for the occasion.

Kaelin's right about thank you notes...our three grown children have boxes of thank you notes and always write thank you notes for everything, even to us, their parents. I save all of them. Ingratitude impacts negatively on everyone.

Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 5:51 PM

Wow - I sure sound grumpy LOL - feel that way too - I think the last 6 months of Murphy being on my butt has taken it's toll - I'm still a wonderful person - but doormat days are over - maybe it's approaching 47 too - heck I don't know...but I DO know the what Geo said is right too.

Everyone has different tastes - but you need to take the time to appreciate the people around you - it makes life MUCH nicer -

On that note -- Justin / Sploofus minion, etc -- EVEN though I'm still waiting to see 2.0 - I still enjoy my daily dose of Sploofus as it is --

Smaug  (Level: 140.7 - Posts: 2772)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 8:35 PM

Straighten out her attitude by having rough sex with her.

That is my answer.

Although, in all honesty, I paid no attention to the question...blah blah blah, whatever...

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 9:30 PM

He said blatant innuendoingly.

Lettermanfan1  (Level: 88.3 - Posts: 486)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 9:53 PM

Hubby tried that. I beat the crap out of him.

Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Sun, 17th Feb '08 11:58 PM

Which WAS the original point, Leah LOL

Greyghost  (Level: 68.4 - Posts: 640)
Mon, 18th Feb '08 10:56 AM

Dont be bringing me in on this one.Cute snide remark though,lmao.

Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Wed, 20th Feb '08 9:02 AM

Tell her to see George Costanza

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