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smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Tue, 11th Mar '08 12:54 AM

GOLF JOKE


Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.

One day he arrives home looking downcast.

"That's it", he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad that, once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes.

As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it another try?"

"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So, the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.

He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to his brother-in-law, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did," replies his brother-in-law.

"Where did it go?", asks Arthur.

"I can't remember."


salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.3 - Posts: 5315)
Tue, 11th Mar '08 1:14 AM



donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Tue, 11th Mar '08 8:53 AM

Two guys are on the green at a suburban course.

Comes a blinding light and a huge mushroom shaped cloud appears over the city in the background.

One golfer says to the other "Go ahead and putt Walt, we got about twenty seconds before the shock wave hits us"

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 133.9 - Posts: 3777)
Tue, 11th Mar '08 11:15 AM

I think this is a repeat from a couple years ago, but it might bear repeating.

A man walks up to the first tee by himself to encounter a pretty, young lady preparing to tee off.

"Would you like to join me," she asked.

"Sure, golf is more fun in a pair or group," he replies.

So they play the first nine and stop for a burger and drink before the turn. They had tied with 44s on the front.

"Would you like to make a wager on the back to make the game more interesting," asked the young lady?

"Sure, how about loser buys dinner?"

"That sounds fine."

They play the back and the young lady wins 42 to 43. The guy buys dinner. As they are parting the young lady mentions she is always there on Tuesdays at that time. If he wants to meet her, they can play again.

So they start meeting, and after 4 times the guy thinks he would like to ask her for a regular date not pegged to a golf score. At the end of the game he asks her about Saturday night.

The young lady says she would like that, but before she accepts she needs to tell him something.

"I want you to know I am not really a lady. I am a crossdresser. My real name is Terry with a Y, not Terri with an I.

The guy goes crazy, throwing his clubs all over the place, ranting and raving. "How could you deceive me like this?" Terry is shocked.

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!" exclaims Terry. "I didn't know you would react this way or I would have told you up front."

"It's not that you're a man," says the guy. "You've been beating me by playing from the red tees!!"






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