You are not signed in (Login or Join Free)   |   Help
Sploofus Trivia
Trivia GamesCommunityLeaderboardsTournaments
MySploofus
You are here:  Home  >>  Chat Forums  >>  The Salty Dog  >>  View Chat Message

View Chat Message



Pages:  1    


smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 8:21 PM

THE NEVERENDING SPLOOF STORY

...add one paragraph in turn to forward the story.


Flipping on the TV remote, she collapsed into the Lazy Boy vinyl recliner and suckled a warm Cube Libre. Chickbref was tired. Not physically tired, like after a workout at the gym, but mentally tired, like after three hours of press badgering about her business relationship with the New York Governor. In fact, exactly like that.....

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 8:47 PM

she didn't think she would make it through the day, but now at home with her feet up she is ready to take them all on tomorrow. as she switches channels she---

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.4 - Posts: 1120)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 8:53 PM

...sees her picture in the side-panel of another news story documenting her supposed liasons with the "Guv", angrily she switches channels only to find....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 9:00 PM

As she kept pushing the channel button on the remote--horror of horrors--- it seemed like every program/ every channel that Chickbref landed on [MSNBC: CNN: Fox News; C-SPAN, Jerry Springer; Tyra Banks; As The World Turns; South Park; Lawrence Welk's Music Makers; even those damn Head On [apply directly to the forehead ] commercials- they all were talking about-

THE STORY OF THE MOMENT- Elliot Spitzer's fall from grace-

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 9:26 PM

She can't believe what she is hearing and picks up the phone and dials Smoke. One ring,two rings three. Crap where is she when I need her wisdom she thinks. Ah Ha she must be at Lodi's planning for the River rafting party. She gets in her truck and drives like a crazy woman. Her cell phone rings....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 10:18 PM

Client Nine calls!

What to do? What to do?

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 10:48 PM

She decides she has had it with client nine, hangs up the phone. Damn phone rings instantly, Smaug AGAIN. He's still complaining about this nasty rash all over his scrotal area.

She tells him for the 80th time to lay off romancing the sheep and go see a doctor.

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 10:53 PM

But does Smaug listen to Chick. Nooooooooo, he decides to switch to Dwarf ponies.

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 11:05 PM

And that's the twoof- pffffffttt! [Edith Ann voice]

But is that the end of this story?




zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 224.7 - Posts: 1088)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 11:27 PM

No! Because . . .

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 11:43 PM


"...of course not, it is the Neverending Sploof Story." explained Sherilynn1962's husband, entering the room in a Merlin hat, wild-eyed and disheveled. "It Never ends...Never....Never....the space people make it so. Keep your pimp hand strong! You are all blind fools, blinded by Halliburton, Dick Cheney, Mordor, and Death-Eater leader Voldemort and Hannity. Also John Tesh + Tony Romo."

"You all will pay,!" he screamed, and pulled from his tinfoil hat a ...

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 179.5 - Posts: 1582)
Thu, 13th Mar '08 11:57 PM

(an aside: your pimp hand? funny!)
out of the tin foil hat came a whirligig with which he could predict the weather, no that's a weathervane...these conspirators are giving me no peace, I'm just going to have to.....

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:01 AM

...join Scientology. Just as he uttered those words, who should come jumping over the couch, but...

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:40 AM

Tom Cruise and John Travolta- looking at Chickfbref with a strange gleam in their eye....and offering her a book ...........

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 197.2 - Posts: 1302)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 1:38 AM

...but it was "Battlefield Earth" and Chick didn't know why they had it. "Are you starting a new religion based on that crappy progenitor of a horrible John Travolta flick?"

"Well, aren't you pithy?" John said indignantly.

Just then, Tom started jumping up and down on the couch screaming...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 2:28 AM

Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson stole my glasses of water! Wait..what is that? John! Don't let them.....

barnierubble
Barnierubble  (Level: 93.9 - Posts: 637)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 2:53 AM

vote for dog no 6, it might be called fixing, he said

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 4:52 AM


....suddenly, there was a great crash as Easy the Stout Dwarf swang into the room on a rope ala Errol Flynn. "There is no time to lose!," she cried. "Besides and anyway, I couldn't figure out how to get myself into this story!"

Chickbref, who had been giving Tom Cruise a lap dance, looked up angrily and said:

papermanbill
Papermanbill  (Level: 41.3 - Posts: 1313)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 4:56 AM

I could've had a V-8

surreyman
Surreyman  (Level: 260.9 - Posts: 2770)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 6:15 AM

But Surreyman, tiring of this idiocy, rapidly turned the pages until he came to "U for Unwinese" and the far more enjoyable passage that started:

Deep joy! Hi ho and a jolly welcode to all you surfwide'n interwebber sploofuslopers. Here beholdy manifold things - all bellyup and thorkus for great laugh'n tittery. O yes .......................

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 6:56 AM

Which interpreted means, "I found the bathroom!"

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:05 AM

...Then Zombie Lewis Carroll returned from the dead and indignantly stole Surrey's words back as back up to his Jabberwock piece. Gazing at Chickfbref, he thinks to himself...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:06 AM

"Crap! What is it with these tense changes!" and also...

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 8:56 AM

He thinks.... Who cut The cheese?

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 8:56 AM

...Easy is not really Easy. It's just a ruse she's developed being in the Witness Protection Program. In actuality, she's a member of the super secret order of nuns, called...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 9:00 AM


Meanwhile, Smaug, miffed at people putting in one liners without hanging conclusions, reads back to ensure that he had said "paragraph" at the top. Seeing he had, he grabs faithful, courageous, crimefighting SmaugDog and siccs him on Tom Cruise, who screams:

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 9:00 AM

"Why, she isn't a dwarf at all! In fact, she's so lovely I can't tear my eyes away. Its intoxicating! Her voice! Those eyes! The way her hair shimmers in the moonlight. Never before I have witnessed such perfection in one person. Please God, let her live up to her nickname......" But he already knew he wasn't good enough.

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 9:08 AM

So he threw himself off of a couch. People mourned, but when they realized that they would no longer have to endure such crap as "The War of the Worlds" and random Oprah appearances, they got over it and, surprisingly, Katie Holmes started dating...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 9:16 AM


....smaug, who traded SmaugDog and SmaugWife for a weekend at the Mayflower Hotel with KH. Unfortunately, she brought the mewling Cruise mutant infqant offspring, who looked like a cross between...

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 9:18 AM

Smaug and TC.

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 10:21 AM

Paul Giamatti and C. Thomas Howell. Ah, I will never forget Paul Giamatti as "Pig Vomit" in Private parts. Speaking of private parts...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 11:47 AM

42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything...however, for those that believe in conspiracies, they argue that the answer is...

heidi
Heidi  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 694)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:10 PM

She says "CHEESE" to them all and about everything. This is a source of great irritation to some causing lifelong conflict it seems-ALAS!!

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:24 PM

A LASS! argghhhh....a lass indeed, and a fine young wench she is, even if a lubber. She's here just in time for Talk Like A Pirate Day...

maurlin
Maurlin  (Level: 213.3 - Posts: 2671)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:28 PM

So she chooses to get drugs to calm her irritation, both physical and mental. She grabs for the phone to call her local provider, but it ring just before she picks it up. It's ...

spacecat
Spacecat  (Level: 158.7 - Posts: 667)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:33 PM

Ahoy matey that's no lass but a wench. A stinking foul breath wench. Out to get my hidden treasures from afar off lands.

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 12:54 PM

...down under, you better run, you better seek cover..." he sang, in a tepid "Men at Work" impression. She, however, was NOT impressed. Smaugdog had crapped on the carpet again and she was about to feed the wretched beast some coffee beans when a startling idea occurred to her...

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6643)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 1:04 PM

If Smaug really was a troll, maybe his excrement could be used as poison?
There was at least one person she would hapily eliminate from sploofus. Maybe just maybe she could.....

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 1:30 PM

...suddenly a Special Forces ranger with an enormous bazooka jumps in front of Garrybl.

"Is this a dream sequence?", the Ranger demands. "No," says Garry. "Do you have a twin brother?" "No..." "Is this a flashback?" "No....why?"

The ranger locks, loads, and blows Garry's head off. "You're out of the story, sh#$bird."

Outside there as a helicopter sound...



rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 1:54 PM

...Chick rushes to the window in time to see a task team of Elves, Gnomes and Orcs exiting the helicopter. "What the hell are you all doing here??" She exclaimed. A half-elf strides forward and bows. "Forgive us m'lady, but we've been evicted from Sir Smaug's plotline and we needed a place to seek shelter." He looks around the room. "Obviously YOU are a non-virgin, so I think we'll be safe here to write our Word puzzles and pull wicked trains of cave lions from the hills." Chick stomped in frustration. "SMAUG! This has to be your doing...when I get ahold of you, I'm gonna....

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 2:59 PM

... love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky - for you and I" she intoned in her best Lizard King impersonation.
And speaking of lizards...

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 3:03 PM

...send all leprous dwarves back to your cave. You'll learn not to mess with Empress Chick. My revenge will be complete when you receive the C.O.D. shipment of...

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 3:14 PM

Ronco's lastest and greatest Pocket Fisherman,not found in stores, but only by calling 1-800-222-5251. As she picks up the phone to dial it rings. She answers and it is......

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 3:33 PM


...Elliot Spitzer. "Is Chick there? No?" "Well could you breath heavily and imitate her voice? Daddy is having a bad day...."

A rythmic slappy whacking sound is heard.....

"You disgusting...oh! The helicopter is back, and..."

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 3:49 PM

It seems that there is someone hanging from a rope! They are lowering her to the ground. Who can it be? Why it's.........

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 4:30 PM


....Salyzpat! And she has a film crew and Geraldo with her!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 4:55 PM

Chick calls back the semi-dwarves as they rush to annihilate the reporters and crew, stating "Salzy won't distort the truth - but she's the only one allowed - kill all the rest!" Salzy responds with "Is it true that....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 6:56 PM

bump


smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:00 PM

..on Kaelin's head is a festering nest of swamp weevil larvae? Get some oinment on that for god's sake."

"Here, tryt some of this cream, it really works for..." (roots around in her purse) Hey! Who stole my cream???

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:01 PM

They are holding Hillery Hostage at the taco bell? Where are all the ...

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:12 PM

...Osmond singers??? I thought I just saw them jump into an unmarked dark van. Oh, know, I recognize the person in the driver's seat! It's...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 7:29 PM

Zombie Tammy Fay Baker!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RUN!!! If that mascara gets on you, you'll....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 8:00 PM

have to use industrial strength drano to get it off so you can see the Osmonds on the Today show singing for the Children's Miracle Network...


rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 14th Mar '08 8:28 PM

And cage-fighting Zombie Jerry Lee Lewis (what do you mean he's not dead yet?) for the title of Heavyweight Telethon Host of the WORLD! Check out those costumes, is that a....

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 6:17 AM

...roll of quarters in your pocket? I need change for the payphone - it's urgent that I call...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 10:49 AM


....Ghostbusters!! Only they can...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 11:20 AM

exorcise the ghost of Madalyn Murray O'Hair from....

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 1:05 PM

Bump

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 10:39 PM

Finally, after nine suspenseful hours- this thread came back to life- what do you expect when you call Ghostbusters? Recapping a little----

Many familiar islander names have been implicated in this never-ending story- Chickfbref- Salzypat; Smaug & his dog & wifey-poo; Eeusus or more fondly known as Easy; Sherilynn; Smoke; Garybl [who died evidently- sorry guy]; Kaelin - and probably more to come-


Famous celebs like the fallen Guv; Tom Cruise; John Travolta;/ Katie Holmes [Smaug- did you?] ; The Osmond clan;
and even more amazing- legends like the Ronco's Pocket Fisherman/ call 1-800-222-5251] ;;; a few zombies- this story cannot end- there's more to tell- but I'm outta ideas right now - so HELP!!!


NEXT


cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Sat, 15th Mar '08 11:23 PM

Justins efforts to launch the new , the great , the one and only Beta 2.0. If anyone can do it ,it's ghostbusters. But wait! Who is that lurking in the dark? Why it's none other than........

okuome1
Okuome1  (Level: 33.0 - Posts: 89)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 12:50 AM

Jim Dandy to the rescue..

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 1:29 AM

Vladimir: What are we waiting for?

Estragon: why, Godot 2.0, of course...

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 2:05 AM

But then again is it realli a 2.0 ? or just another........

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 2:12 AM

Zombie Garrybl back to eat our BRAINS! Or, more specifically, the SmaugRanger's brains. Zombie Garrybl has retained the sense of taste and discernment which has come to endear former Garrybl to all of us, but none of the decent smell. It kind of reminds me of...

surreyman
Surreyman  (Level: 260.9 - Posts: 2770)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 6:41 AM

........ a serf in Surrey with a surrogate suppository suppressing suppuration from surculose surcingles with a surface surge of suricates whose surly surmaster surmises surprise at the surrendering surrebut of surreptitious sursumcorda in suspicious surroundings that .................

zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 224.7 - Posts: 1088)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 6:53 AM

. . ."the smell of napalm in the morning". . . or, perhaps . . .

zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 224.7 - Posts: 1088)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 7:34 AM

. . .it's the smell of burning feathers.

Oh, no! BIGBIRD . . .

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 8:48 AM

Chick calls out "On Bert, On Ernie, On Cookie Monster and Grover" To the top of the bird, grab a hose, douse her over!

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 9:08 AM

and as predicted, a familar islander returns to the story- this time however, Chickfbref is guzzling a iced cuba libra- ah it tastes so refreshing!

the news about her business relationship with the fallen Guv seems to be dying down- she is starting to relax- maybe curl up and watch a movie on the tube- clicking her remote- she lands on the Sploof Channel [ hmmmm- those cable companies are starting to add more options to their overpriced packages-

Horror of horrors- the featured movie playing now is "THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD".
did somebody hear a scream?





pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 9:37 AM

.....ACKKKK!!!! is heard throughout the land as Smaug is featured on "What Not To Wear." The hosts of the show get into a wild fist-slinging fight with Smaug, who refuses to remove his red and green paisley scarf from his neck. "It doesn't go with stripes!" the co-host shouted. And in an unprecedented move by the cable network...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 9:42 AM

As the movie starts getting really gory, Chick notices Smaug's chimps, Horatio and Smedley. She dials up Kaelin because she had been told that the murderous Latino wet nurse hired back at the Sploofus Island holiday party had reported that they were REALLY dead...dang island religious ceremonies...

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 11:36 AM

They never serve the Guacamole with the right Chips. Who eats Guacamole with Fritos? Ah Ha here comes Randy to the rescue with...........

zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 224.7 - Posts: 1088)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 11:55 AM

a 5-gallon bucket of extra-hot salsa and . . .

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 12:05 PM

crisp, non greasy white corn tortilla chips. Meanwhile, back at the hacienda...

zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 224.7 - Posts: 1088)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 12:33 PM

Tex is attempting to break into the liquor cabinet when suddenly . . .

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 7:06 PM

Again , another six hours goes by as this story seems to be losing steam.

Was it because the Sploof Channel has mesmerized everyone?
Was it the NASCAR race at Bristol [Harvick sucks]?

Oh wait - the liquor cabinet. Tex has finally broken the lock.
She takes out a bottle of rum; adds it to some Coke [diet?].
Yes, the pause [with rum] that refreshes!

The TV is playing in the next room- she goes over to pick up the remote- ooh , it's sticky. She wondered who was using it last - and what caused the stickiness. That might be answered later.

She thought- where's that hand sanitizer when you need it?

Well kiss my grits, the Sploof Channel is on , and it's a re-run of Alice.

A very funny show, one that she enjoyed so many years. She is ready to get comfortable in the Easy Chair [ American made- designed by Eesusbejeesus according to the tag]- picks up her rum and coke- ready to guzzle it- and

horror of horrors- Who jumps out from behind the curtain?- it's


TO BE CONTINUED

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 7:31 PM

[ okay the suspense is deafening-]

It was the dreaded man-eating DODECAPUS~

Tex was terrified- she spit out her rum and coke [on the remote- making it sticky again].
She jumped a few feet off the Easy Chair [American made of course]- and ran to the other side of the room - she was ready to pick up another chair for protection- but barforama------ there was this "potty mess on the seat- GROSS!!
Her mind was filling with smog [sp.?] from the stench.

Wait a minute- the Dodecapus wasn't approaching her at all. In fact , it just sat down on the Easy Chir [American made , of course], after all- it was just vacated- and it picked up the sticky remote [ A Dodecapus has twelve arms, so only one got sticky]- and it turned the channel to its favorite show-



TAKE IT!!







eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 7:38 PM

Did Tex have a sex change?

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 8:23 PM

[evidently- the script writers were on strike for awhile-
who says this story is factual?]

The Dodecapus was a man-eating creature- so no problemo for Tex [short for Texalita].
Now we need a man to join this thread.


just as the clock struck 8;00 p.m. [EST ]- Barnie Rubble knocks on the door.



oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.4 - Posts: 1120)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 9:05 PM

...wearing a brown UPS uniform, "I have a delivery for a Chuck F. Bref?" he utters quizzily. "The name isn't right, but I'll sign for it" Ees replies,whereupon he hands over a case of anal wart cream. "What?", responds Ees, "You mean there's no....

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 10:51 PM

Viagra. Easy says "Smaug asked me to order it for him cause he's a chickenshit. What the hell am I going to do with all of this wart cream? "

Easy says "I'll package it up and give it to Barnie, cause he's a f'ing troll and prolly has anal warts to match his anal personality".

Tex meanwhile continuously moans about not having any scotch, so Chick whips the empty bottle at his head and scream "Dumbass drunk, you've had 3 bottles so far, no wonder there's no f'ing scotch left".

Doorbell rings....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 16th Mar '08 11:10 PM

script change notation

Tex has metamorphosized back into a MAN-


CONTINUE PLEASE



smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 1:28 AM

....an angry gaggle of nuns and spinsters in Amish dress flood through the door, grab Chick, and carry her to the Island dunking stool, where she is brought to near death. "Such a potty mouth on her," one is heard to exclaim.

Nearly drowned by the colonial waterboarding, Chick starts spouting the names and addresses of her jihadist cell, including the details of a plot to....

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 1:36 AM

The goverment of Rubbledome. When the Nuns hear of her plan ,the gasp. Oh My! She has the plan we have been looking for. Set her free at once and take her to....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 6:34 PM

Jeez Louise!

all right, one more time to re-incarnate this thread- It's been about 17 hours.
Let me interject my demented humor again to fire this baby up!


====================================================================

Hmmmm- I can't think of anything worthy of a response to the last post. Brain flatus!


Sorry



kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 8:39 PM

the house of mouse. That's the one form of government that has not been scandalized! I just wonder if Minnie will....

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.4 - Posts: 1120)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 9:18 PM

....give a rat's ass about our dilemma (according to Mickey she is f'ing goofy) after all Minnie is fed up with the rat-race and is thinking of founding a new country in Africa called Rodentia where all citizens get a bigger piece of the cheese, and their government is founded on the principles of...

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 9:25 PM

...whoever collects the most cheese wins!!! However, in this late-breaking news announcement, a plague has invaded the rodents' happy home, and they have scurried over to the Sploofus home of...

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.1 - Posts: 3778)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 9:29 PM

ratting on each other, because it will be easier to live in a society where our leaders admit their dishonesty, instead of playing a perpetual game of deceit based on one person lying and six more backing them up instead of...

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 10:24 PM

(cue pron bass)

"why , hello, Guv...so many mo-mo's have passed and I've been a baddddd gurl"

The gov says, "well, Chickie...I can discipline for another 2 hours as a governor then it's just another hump..."

"get to it then, Your On Her!" Hee Hee

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 11:14 PM

Meanwhile, back at the home of Smoke, (who has yet to weigh in on Chick's situation) we find her meditating to reruns of Tony's greatest races so that she can wisely counsel on damage control...

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Mon, 17th Mar '08 11:17 PM

Cue David Rose's "The Stripper" or even better- Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On"

Meow- this is finally getting real interesting!!

What happens next to Chick?????==== turn on the Sploof Channel- [check your listings for dial position]


parental discretion advised.

Sorry---- gotta go-
NEXT







rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 12:51 AM

gotta go...put on my leather thong," Alvandy said, stringily. And he did! and brought all his signs with the round numbers on them and started parading them through each level of the story. Then Zombie Heath Ledger started chasing his ass into the tent and....

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 1:04 AM

Who should he find Sitting on a mushroom, smoking a pipe, non other than.....

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2012)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 1:08 AM

Lodi, she's been smokin the "hootch" a bit and exclaims "who the hell stole my underwear and put them on ebay?"

Smaug chimes in "well Tex did of course, you dwarf".

Lodi gets really po'd and calls....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 6:57 AM

GHOSTBUSTERS [again. ]. I hope Heath Ledger takes the road to Brokeback Mountain instead of continuing to chase me. I may need their help.


Anyway, I'm in Washington for a few days - I plan to try to get an "earmark" from the politicians for Sploofus Island- and will probably check out "Victor's Secret" for their thong collection.
If you don't care about my plight, I'll just "turn my other cheek".


Keep this thread going until I return.

NEXT







garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6643)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 6:33 PM

Victoria's Secret Underwear is far too restrained for my liking.
To find something more exotic I'd prefer to.....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 6:48 PM

head down to the French Quarter to see what's been resurrected since rebuilding from Katrina. I hear Brad and Angie...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 7:12 PM


........screaming in horror from the next room where they are being fed into a woodchipper feet first by Barrack Obama, who then was universally applauded for his touching and eloquent confessional speech centered on the racial divide in America, and the need for....



kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 7:42 PM

healing. Then jumping over and and sofas, Tom and John (wasn't one of them supposed to be dead?) come bounding in to support Obama. In an amazing leap from one religous camp to another, Obama allows John & Tom to prove that Scientology can indeed heal woodchip burns and actually...

kimoira
Kimoira  (Level: 201.9 - Posts: 1190)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 7:45 PM

piss us all off and question the...


oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 201.4 - Posts: 1120)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 7:46 PM

...unbalanced and partisan news coverage by the media on both coasts in order to have a more uninformed and apathetic populace, as well as more "reality" programming on the networks centered on such demented genera as....

kimoira
Kimoira  (Level: 201.9 - Posts: 1190)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 7:50 PM

Anna Nicole!

After the year long battle for the little baby and her Gazillions you'd think Howard K Stern would...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 8:08 PM


.....have been attracted by more then her huge, voluptuous Gazillions and been after her money, but no, he....

kimoira
Kimoira  (Level: 201.9 - Posts: 1190)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 8:16 PM

isn't and that's why he's a scum-sucking loser of galactical proportions.

If only he had...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 8:58 PM

...been ready when the Zombies came! Zombies Anna Nicole and J. Howard waylay him in a thai massage parlor and suck what was arguably the most meager brain since australopithicus out of his skull. They then stagger on down....

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 9:05 PM

...to Brad and Angie's in order that they may feast upon the multitudinous children in the household, knowing there's nothing better than young flesh and brains...

kimoira
Kimoira  (Level: 201.9 - Posts: 1190)
Tue, 18th Mar '08 9:06 PM

knowing there's little in the way of brains at all...

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Wed, 19th Mar '08 8:03 PM


and that, my friends, proves out the theory of nurture, not nature...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 9:32 AM

But naturally, as with all theories, there is the exception to the rule because...

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 11:31 AM

...as Marie Osmond has said many times, "I've never regretted not having a sister, I have my brother Donny." (insert snare riff here) But, Marie can't be right. What's the name of that other famous duo?...oh, yeah, I remember, it's...

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 12:02 PM

The Carpenters. After the death of his sister, he married his adopted cousin giving the reason....

allena
Allena  (Level: 255.6 - Posts: 1391)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 1:15 PM

Pipe smokin' Easy turned him down! Kaufman entered offering Barry's head to the highest bidder. Smaug, with Johnny Bravo's girlie scream, noted the missing 5 hours from Hillary's schedule and concluded that

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 2:45 PM

...she didi the smart thing hiding those five hours, since all the to-do that the Monica thing created with Bill, she couldn't afford for the fickle media finger to be turned toward her, Smaug and...

billkozy
Billkozy  (Level: 280.1 - Posts: 308)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 3:33 PM

...whoever else was at the dry cleaners that day.
But the ticket. Where was the ticket that she suddenly remembered her mother had brought back after doing her the kindness of bringing her dress to Aladdin's Cleaners that weekend. She had stuck it under a magnet on the refrigerator but now it was gone. Had she already picked it up and forgotten. No, impossible. The dress wouldn't even have been ready yet.
And in a flash the suspicion came to her...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 5:28 PM

...Bill picked up her dress and is probably wearing it! That TRAMP! He knows he doesn't have shoes to match it! Fuming, she picks up the phone to call.....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 5:35 PM

Kellie Pickler to see if she still has those red shoes on, or how much she'll take or trade for them so that...

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 5:59 PM

....she'll stop that damn singing about those red shoes because you want her to, don't you, don't you, and you're going to make her stop singing, won't you, won't you? It turns out that it wasn't a pipe that Easy had in her mouth after all, it was a......

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:03 PM

...pip - and that wasn't the only 'e' she'd dropped that day. Having gnawed the pip awhile, she looked up and noticed a strange...

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3645)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:05 PM

...look on Gladys Knight's face. "Give me back my pip!" she yelled. If you want to chew on something, chew on....

cjar855
Cjar855  (Level: 133.4 - Posts: 838)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:06 PM

Gladys Knight short of one Pip. Where the hell did he go now?.....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:27 PM

...chew on Barney Rubble or Fred Flinstone. Betty and Wilma will appreciate it beacause it will give them more time to....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:33 PM

********To A Land Far, Far Away [cjar note]

while chewing on [eesus note]


a lip smacking good old Pennsylvania Dutch country slice of hog maw. [aka saumagen]

hmm- that last German word sounds a lot like our old friend Smaug...... last seen at







gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 6:47 PM

the Anagram Convention, also known as "a contravening moan." Smaug cried, "I am the Magus," to the assembled anagrammers.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 8:55 PM



....Samuag continued his speech at a commanding high decibel that echoed through the packed cavernous anagrammers convention.

"AnalGrabbers! I am your king!! I....what?....the....huh?....oh, nevermind...."

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Thu, 20th Mar '08 10:50 PM

but from the back of the convention hall- another loud voice filled the place===


All turned around to see her entrance-

Taking the pip from her mouth- Easy- the diminutive self- proclaimed "Queen"

Bellowed
"Balls - if I had two- I'd be King!"

A battle royale seemed to be imminent; one anagrammer was heard to say--

MADAM- I'M ADAM

[It might take a very clever cunning linguist to keep this thread thriving]
NEXT











kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 7:32 AM

...suddenly heard from a booming disembodied voice was "Elvis is in the building". The unkillable Tom Cruise pops up throwing tin foil hats all around stating "Elvis Aaron Presley? Seen alive? Sorry, pal!". Travolta, to the rescue, gently drags Tom out of the door saying...

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 7:35 AM

" Tom, I hear that your picture is going to be on the new $3 bill". Tom nods, climbs up on the sofa and..............

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:07 AM

......drops a deuce, while Rosy O'Donnell feigns heterosexuality and jumps up and down like a schoolgirl until....

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:21 AM

her stomach hits her in the face knocking her out cold. Medics appear on the scene and immediately roll her in flour and............

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.1 - Posts: 3778)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:22 AM

she bludgeons to death with her flaying adornments several starving children from the third world who were brought to her show as guests by Sally Struthers. A crying Sally then proceeds to...........

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:25 AM

...run out after going through two 50 pound bags. Breaking open chips, they use her as a delicious bean dip until Tom Cruise summons the Xenu and the Galactic Confederasy from 75 million years ago and dtarts explaining that this is the basis of Scientology (it really is, look it up). Xenu looks up with a mouthful of bean dip and says:

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4286)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 11:02 AM

"Show me the money!" Dutifully, Tomster goes out, makes another blockbuster, and hands over half to the aluminum-foil-hat wearing leader, all the while swatting Thetons away from his ever expanding head. But the couch-jumping actor discovers that Scientology wants more than his money, the really want...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 11:42 AM

...a recipe for an actually GOOD tasting low fat brownie. They're sick of using applesauce and if we had just given them the damned recipe already, we would never have had to suffer through monstrosities like "Battlefield Earth" and....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 12:53 PM

"Zombie Nation". Meanwhile, over at "Top Chef" - the challenge has been issued to stop the damn artistic plating and put same food on the plate. A new rule has been set that if there is only a "dot" or a "dash", then your knives will be "dashed" out you while the door is hitting you in the....

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 1:19 PM

(sorry that's supposed to be "some" food, not "same" food - didn't mean to mess up the flow - hanging head)

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 6:30 PM

... assets, which have been frozen since the summer. The well-known investment bank Sturm und Bear found itself unable to market it's latest concoction, the hot-potato pie. The Chairman, Kimmy Jayne, was too perplexed by handling his trump suit of AKJTxx opposite two little to comment.

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 6:57 PM

And then another bombshell , possibly as dastardly as the frozen assets of investment bank Sturm und Bear.

A crisis of gigantic proportions- possibly every inhabitant of Sploofus Island may have had their "identity" stolen.

Rival trivia website webmasters , working as independent contractors with the State Department, have breached security by viewing passport records of thousands of trivia buffs who live the good life in sunny Spoloofus-land.

An immediate investigation has started.-

Who might have been exposed?



rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 9:28 PM

Why, Smaug was, of course, and the rest of us hardly noticed at all. Meanwhile, back at Chick's ranch, she is still fielding phone calls from the bloodthirsty media, publishers dying for her story and beer companies wishing to feature her in leather pulling a beer cart. She manages this with a surprising equanimity, considering I have no idea what that word means, and...

allena
Allena  (Level: 255.6 - Posts: 1391)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 9:34 PM

Justin ... his anagrammed head immersed, while he

rode records
with
coded errors

dreaming he attended the queen's 2.0 ball and he could dance with

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6643)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:01 PM

wild abandon.
And who is she, you ask?
Oscar's sister, perhaps, who had seen the portrait of Dorian Gray, retaining her youthful looks despite committing all the unfoirgivable sins, such as....

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Fri, 21st Mar '08 10:10 PM

being unkind and failing to rewind. And there was the time that she threw a gum wrapper in the Zabar's bag of an ancient nun. Thinking back on her life, it was an Absinthe-fueled blur. She thought fondly of her son, adopted out at the age of five days. She had followed his exploits as ...

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 7:21 AM

Hey - I'm walking here! Oh sorry- back to the task .



TROJAN-MAN.
Dedicating his life to saving the world from the spread of disease.

Sploofus Island fights an never-ending battle for truth, justice and the Sploofus way.

And who would of thought that the "Rising Times" store on Pleasure Street on the south side of the island would be the place to go- to prevent the despoilment of its inhabitants.

An interesting line of products on its shelves. Some expand ; some evolve- but into what?










rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 9:07 AM

...Into TRANSFORMERS. They're robots in disguise, as I am sure you are all well aware. Which would explain the "mechanical" performance that SmaugWife 1.0 referred to in her latest letter to Dr. Laura, begging her expert advice on "dumb crap that husbands do that get their accounts deleted." Laura, willing to help, points out to SmaugWife that, "No, you do NOT have to constantly refer to him as "Optimus Prime" in front of his friends. Tell hiim to get his...."

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 12:58 PM

equipment refinanced so he need not be referred to as Optimus Subprime.
Mrs. Smaug retorted that no bank would touch it, which had the air of believability.

allena
Allena  (Level: 255.6 - Posts: 1391)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 10:18 PM

Until, she was black balled at blockbuster. Smaug tripped over his 2.0 Oscar Wilde and pontificated, "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally" leaving Mrs. Smug ...

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.1 - Posts: 3778)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 11:01 PM

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mr. A was finishing a leisure meal featuring crab cakes and asparagus, never for one minute sensing that by this time tomorrow, the world as he knows it will be shaken at it foundations.

"Refill my glass, Gervais." said Mr. A. "I'll need some bubbles with the Creme Brulee. You can't serve it without some bubbly.

Suddenly the cliche mechanical sound of cell phone interrupts the peace...

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Sat, 22nd Mar '08 11:23 PM

"Condi? I can't talk now! Can't you fix it yourself?" He hated moments like this. If it weren't the lure of Stockholm in December, he would have changed his number. "Take a deep breath," he urged. "Yes, we have a Security Council veto too." It was a game they played, ever since that summer in Palo Alto. She wore blue, the German Department professors wore green. They had shared their first kiss at the ...

larefamiliaris
Larefamiliaris  (Level: 135.2 - Posts: 877)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 7:39 AM



felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 7:40 AM

local Kentucky Fried Chicken, over a bowl of taters, corn ,cheese, processed nuggets and redeye gravy. After only a few bites the sound of.............

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 7:54 AM

sound of a breaking tooth caused Condi to pull that last bite from her mouth. "Whose finger is this?!?" she cried. Who would...

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 8:27 AM

have thought that it wasn't a finger at all. It appeared to be.........

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6643)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 9:41 AM

a rather different body part.
It was so small and shrivelled that there was really only one person it could belong to. And that was famed sploofus member....

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 9:46 AM

no way I'm taking this one!!



gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 12:00 PM

she screamed. He snickered over his biscuit. When word got out in the Soviet Studies Department, the pranks would start. Oh the emails! The Play-Doh models! The nicknames (the honorable member, chicken surprise, the Colonel's adjutant). He could hear Condi now, "No one could have anticipated a generative organ in my chicken."

A strange smile played upon her lips. This would be the perfect revenge. She would Fed-Ex it to ...

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 1:56 PM

...Donald Rumsfeld...

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Sun, 23rd Mar '08 11:11 PM

who had always subscribed to the theory that you go to a date with the equipment you have, rather than the equipment you wished you had. "The Donald," as he was known in Cabinet meetings had immersed himself in a new hobby since retiring. He began collecting ...

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 1:19 AM


....fetus hearts, which he ran through a crank-up electrode machine and cackled wildly as they beat spasmodically, even as Morley Safer and the film crew recoiled in horror, then he pulled out a turkey baster and ...

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 3:07 AM

Rosie O'Donnell bodyblocked him and said, "ME FIRST!" and grabbed the turkey baster and passed it onto....

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 3:09 AM

(checking to see whether that should be Zombie Rosie O'Donnell, but she was apparently only knocked out cold last we left her...As you were!)

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 7:40 AM

Kaelin said "You despicable wannabe demigods!" Mumbling to herself she said "Why do people do things like this. As if I have time to take up another cause, but now that I know about it, I have no choice." She started off by calling...

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 280.2 - Posts: 6643)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 10:49 AM

Angelina Jolie and Madonna to ask if they would like to adopt one of her babies, since the whole motherhood thing was so passe.
Imagoine her surprise when she got the response that....

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 10:55 AM

....Garry had been killed in Chapter one....suddenly, there was a cacophony of high-pitched squeals, reminiscent of an early Beatles concert....it was....it was....yes, it was an Obama press conference, and Barry was driving the media wild...

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 11:36 AM

Barry opened with "All You Need is Love," in contrast to Hillary's opening number "I'll Get You," or John McCain's "I'm So Tired."

davidf
Davidf  (Level: 102.1 - Posts: 746)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 12:40 PM

After a difficult question Hilary let the Beatles song No Reply answer for her

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 3:54 PM

This musical development allowed the cable news networks to segue to a Top 40 format for reporting the campaign. CNN hired Ryan Seacrest to analyze polling data, MSNBC began American Idol with Feet of Clay Aiken, and Fox brought out the Solid Gold Superdelegate Dancers, who are expected to keep their feet moving through August.

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Mon, 24th Mar '08 4:01 PM

They'll keep moving if only to run from Bill "gotta-get-me-some-of-that" Clinton.

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 6:50 PM

and lo and behold, two days after the previous post:

a gamma ray burst struck earth- and Beta 2.0 was released!

Sploofus Island would never be the same.

So this thread has been "strung out".
The Never-ending Story may finally be ending.

Goodbye

or is it just an intermission?



felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 7:14 PM

Meanwhile back at the ranch....................

gfawkes
Gfawkes  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 30)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 7:28 PM

dressing factory, bottles were transforming into boxes ("all part of a V 2.0 upgrade," the memo said). Our signature Thousand Islands dressing will be rechristened "Fractal Landmass Salad Adorner" and the French dressing will be, of course, Freedom dressing.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 7:51 PM


"Bwahahahahahaha!" screamed Smaug, pouring boiling barrels of rancid lard on the huddled non-2.0 peasants below the shining 2.0 fortress on Sploofus Island.

"2.0 is not only delicious! It's fat-free! Less filling! And I think I'm brushing longer!"

"And I think I'm brushing longer! and I think I'm brush...b...b...b..."

"BUG!!! BUG!!, " screamed the development team, rushing in with.....



barnierubble
Barnierubble  (Level: 93.9 - Posts: 637)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 8:12 PM

Anti Smaug device, which was used to purify everything that had been soiled by his outpourings.

barnierubble
Barnierubble  (Level: 93.9 - Posts: 637)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 8:15 PM

the mob then yelled "we want to see this new phenomina, which has come from Justin land"

rnmorg
Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 690)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 8:24 PM

...then the spelling nazis took over and restored "Phenomena" to its former glory and the people rejoiced! The Hot Lead and Tar pouring recommenced with a surprising extra vat of....

tuzilla
Tuzilla  (Level: 134.1 - Posts: 3778)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 8:41 PM

Suddenly smaug morphs into a cross between Agent Smith from the matrix and The beast from Kung Fu Hustle. He begins randomly tossing objects of great about in all directions. Suddenly a man wearing a karate outfit and sunglasses roars up on a Ducati. He jumps off the bike looking like Sing from KF Hustle and Matrix Neo. A man in a wheelchair who looks like Patches O'Houlihan from Dodgeball and who is screaming like Golden Leg Fung from Shaolin Soccer throws a wrench at smaug. Smaug deftly dodges the wrench as The karate suit guy lights a candle and starts reading from a book while ringing a bell. The place begins to shake and statue topple. A previously unseen set of gates open. Out through the gates comes...

phitzy1
Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Wed, 26th Mar '08 8:43 PM

...vegetables, long forgotten in the back of Martha Stewart's fridge. I'll have you know that she had a whole bus load of her "assistants" deported for letting the romaine turn to a slushy mass...and the rosebeds! ugh...NOT a good thing.

but just the thing to pour on to the masses clamoring loudly for...

alvandy
Alvandy  (Level: 229.6 - Posts: 7570)
Fri, 28th Mar '08 11:06 PM

Beta 2.0 for everyone!!!!




smaug
Smaug  (Level: 141.2 - Posts: 2772)
Fri, 28th Mar '08 11:30 PM


"We must save him," cried Smaug.

"No! It's too late!," yelled the cowardly crowd, mostly Felix. "Flee and let's save ourselves!"

"No!," yelled Smaug. I will not leave anyone, any human, even Tuzilla, in the horrible grasp of the Obscure Analogy Demon!"

Leaping like the infamous and mythical Spring-Heeled Jack of Victorian England fame, Smaug bounded....


Pages:  1    



Copyright © 2003-2016 Sploofus Holdings LLC.  All rights reserved.
Legal Notice & Privacy Statement  |  Link to Sploofus