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chyenn
Chyenn  (Level: 202.6 - Posts: 1332)
Sun, 13th Apr '08 12:17 PM

WELCOME TO OLD AGE...


Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down to the other sisters, 'Can either one of you tell me if I was I getting in or out of the bath?'

The 94 year old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.'

She starts up the stairs and pauses. 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'

The 92 year old who is sitting at the kitchen table having tea is listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful,'and she knocks on her wooden table for good measure. She then yells, 'I'll come up and help the both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
____________________________________________

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.'

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes, she just stared and glared. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
_____________________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please, please be careful!'

'Hells, bells', answered Herman, 'It's not just one car Mildred, It's hundreds of them!'
______________________________________________

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.... Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it!

She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

Finally she turned to the other woman, and said, 'Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her friend, and said, 'Crap, am I driving...???'
__________________________________________________ ____

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.

The dispatcher say, 'Stay calm, Ma'am, an officer is on the way.'

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'


salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 156.5 - Posts: 5316)
Sun, 13th Apr '08 12:45 PM

Thanks for some good laughs. Unfortunately, some of them are just too true to be funny !


jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4597)
Sun, 13th Apr '08 3:06 PM

Becoming less funny as the days go by.

Can't remember if I ever posted this out here (I know I sent it to someone privately once) - but maybe it fits here. I wrote it for my Dad a couple of years before he died, as a result of something he said once that was so cute at the time:

"It's All Perspective"

When I arrived at 48,
My sight and hearing in failing state,
Body falling apart, conceding to fate,
I thought of Dad, my best friend.

He worked in cold and blistering heat,
His family's every need to meet,
Each adversity he faced and beat.
I admire him above all men.

Almost 82 years he's been around.
His experiences and insight still astound.
"It's perspective," he says, "I would kiss the ground,
Just to feel 60 again!"



barnierubble
Barnierubble  (Level: 93.9 - Posts: 637)
Mon, 14th Apr '08 8:40 AM

A couple of Disc Jockeys were talking on their station broadcast about old age. For heavens sake, says one, who ever wants to be 95. Someone who is 94, came the reply.


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