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Tuzilla  (Level: 144.6 - Posts: 3839)
Sat, 17th May '08 5:14 PM


It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Sploofus Island. Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Sploofus Islander's ultimate weapon, the Death Bra, an armored pair of space stations with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Sploofus Islander's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

General Kenobi: Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars; now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Sploofus Islanders.

Listen, I can't get involved. I've got work to do. It's not that I like Sploofus Island; I hate it. But there's nothing I can do about it right now... It's all such a long way from here.

For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the Sploofus Islanders.

A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Sploofus Islanders hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights.

There was nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. You'd have been killed too, and the droids would now be in the hands of the Sploofus Islanders.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Well, Sploofus Island doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station.

Chyenn  (Level: 209.4 - Posts: 1332)
Sat, 17th May '08 5:51 PM

is there any hope for sploofus island?

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.6 - Posts: 3839)
Sat, 17th May '08 6:00 PM

There is a great disturbance in the Cheese.

The Cheese is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Sploofus Islander.

Only a fully trained Jedi Knight, with the Cheese as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor.

But I can help them! I feel the Cheese!

Yes, run! Yes, a Sploofus Islander's strength flows from the Cheese. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Cheese are they.

You must feel the Cheese around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes.

[Obi-Wan's Cheese-spirit suddenly appears]

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Cheese, and a powerful ally it is.

[Using the Cheese, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog]

The Cheese is with you, young Skywalker.

But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Cheese.

A Sploofus Islander uses the Cheese for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

I must fetch my Cheese goggles. Now, you two may admire it... but don't touch it! This Cheese means more to me than both your lives.

May the Cheese be with you.

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Sat, 17th May '08 6:14 PM

I don't believe in Cheese and there's something
seriously wrong with anyone who does!!!!

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sat, 17th May '08 6:16 PM


Mplaw51  (Level: 184.4 - Posts: 1581)
Sat, 17th May '08 9:54 PM

Personally I feel that a grilled american cheese on 7 grain bread causes me to have the power.

Rnmorg  (Level: 128.2 - Posts: 689)
Sat, 17th May '08 11:11 PM

Alright, that's it you lot...CUT THE CHEESE!


Nelly  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1167)
Sat, 17th May '08 11:13 PM

Note to self: Don't read Salty after a couple of drinks!

Nelly  (Level: 179.8 - Posts: 1167)
Sat, 17th May '08 11:34 PM

& definitely not at 4.30 am in the morning!

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Sun, 18th May '08 3:06 AM

My friend ( who lives on the Wirral
- close to Cheshire) got married for
the first time, at age 62....
Must be something in the air - or the
water - in that there place!!!!

Belatd Congratulations Nelly, and best
wishes for a long and happy marriage

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Sun, 18th May '08 3:11 AM

Sorry Lodi....I was referring to
"Smaugs Cheese Post" and figured
that Steve was too, when he started
this thread????
Please excuse me if I assumed that

Revdodd  (Level: 68.7 - Posts: 775)
Sun, 18th May '08 6:15 AM

"Hokey religions and ancient cheese are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sun, 18th May '08 12:15 PM

Row - my "huh?" response was to Steve, not you. He's either way too cerebral for me or I'm way more sane than him.

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Mon, 19th May '08 2:04 AM

Drinks at 4.30AM????
Was that the beginning
or the end of your
(drinking) day????
Or did you actually
mean....a cuppa TEA????

Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Mon, 19th May '08 2:36 AM

Um... Steve.. have you been hanging out 'on the street' with Chick trying to score some cheese?

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Mon, 19th May '08 1:15 PM

regarding your comparison of "cerebral" and "sane"....
I'd say it depends who drank the water, and who drank the B57s

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Mon, 19th May '08 6:38 PM

So, all in all, you gotta to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Tue, 20th May '08 3:28 AM

that's the first time I have
ever been called a "Punk"
Usually I'm called a "B**ch"

Tuzilla  (Level: 144.6 - Posts: 3839)
Tue, 3rd Jun '08 6:11 PM

Ah yes. A Duncan Idaho Potato's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the Aged Side of the Cheese. So will it be with you.

When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Cheese was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Duncan Idaho Potato. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.

Never. I'll never turn to the Aged Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Duncan Idaho Potato, like my father before me.

Oh no, my young Duncan Idaho Potato. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.

Remember, a Duncan Idaho Potato's strength flows from the Cheese.

Take your Duncan Idaho Potato weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

You weak minded fool! He's using an old Idaho Potato mind trick.

A Duncan Idaho Potato? Jeez, I'm out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur!

Then I am a Duncan Idaho Potato.

No. Not yet. One thing remains. Vader. You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Duncan Idaho Potato will you be. And confront him you will.

So be it... Duncan Idaho Potato.

There will be no bargain, young Idaho Potato. I shall enjoy watching you die.

Acofish  (Level: 59.9 - Posts: 98)
Tue, 3rd Jun '08 7:13 PM


Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Tue, 3rd Jun '08 7:22 PM

I think I need a restraining order.

Snakes  (Level: 227.5 - Posts: 98)
Tue, 3rd Jun '08 8:07 PM

"...I give him a 42 but I can't dance to it!"

Diva305  (Level: 152.6 - Posts: 1655)
Tue, 3rd Jun '08 8:35 PM

Dat Duncan Idaho Potato must be some good stuff!

Here we call it Diesel.

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Wed, 4th Jun '08 3:17 AM

In these here parts
we call it

Kaufman  (Level: 267.7 - Posts: 3941)
Wed, 4th Jun '08 7:35 AM

We just call it ...

Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Thu, 5th Jun '08 1:23 AM

Watch out for those Green Potato(e)s
They are supposed to be toxic

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