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Quackinator  (Level: 175.6 - Posts: 151)
Sun, 13th Jul '08 11:31 PM


I got this in my e-mail and couldn't resist sharing

>> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
>> seat so that
>> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
>> window. (On an
>> airplane!)
>> 2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer who wanted
>> to go to
>> Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and
>> the
>> passport information. Then she interrupted me with,
>> 'I'm not trying to
>> make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts'
>> Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
>> 'Cape Cod'
>> is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. Her response,
>> "click".
>> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called furious about a
>> Florida package
>> we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
>> Orlando. He said
>> he was expecting an oceanview room. I tried to explain
>> that's not
>> possible, because Orlando is in the middle of the state.
>> He replied, 'Don't get smat with me, I looked on
>> the map and Florida
>> is a very narrow state!' (Oh, my God!)
>> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked,
>> 'Is it possible to
>> see England from Canada ?' I said, 'No.' She
>> then said, 'But they look
>> so close on the map.'
>> 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he
>> could rent
>> a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I
>> noticed he only
>> had a one-hour layover in Dallas. I asked him why he wanted
>> to rent a
>> car, he replied, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and
>> we will need a
>> car to drive between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh!)
>> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed
>> to know how
>> it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30
>> AM and got
>> to Chicago at 8:33 AM. I explained that Michigan was an
>> hour ahead of
>> Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of
>> time zones.
>> Finally, I told her the plane went really fast, and she
>> accepted that.
>> 7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines
>> put your
>> physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
>> belongs to
>> whom?' I said, 'No. Why do you ask?' She
>> replied, 'Well, when I
>> checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage
>> that said
>> FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude.
>> After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into
>> it --I was
>> laughing--, I came back and explained that the code for the
>> Fresno, CA
>> airport, is "FAT" = Fresno Air Terminal, and the
>> airline was just
>> putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>> 8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
>> package to Hawaii.
>> After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would
>> it be cheaper to
>> fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?'
>> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who
>> asked,
>> 'How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him
>> what exactly he
>> meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight
>> number is 823, but
>> none of these planes have numbers on them.'
>> 10. A lady Senator called and said, 'I need to fly to
>> Pepsi-Cola,
>> Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer
>> planes?' I
>> asked if she meant she was flying to Pensacola, FL on a
>> commuter
>> plane. She said, 'Yeah, whatever, smarty!'
>> 11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the
>> documents he
>> needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
>> about
>> passports, I reminded him that he also needed a visa.
>> 'Oh, no I don't.
>> I've been to China many times and I have never had to
>> have one of
>> those.' I double-checked, and sure enough, his stay
>> required a visa.
>> When I told him this he said, 'Look, I've been to
>> China four times and
>> every time they have accepted my American Express!'
>> 12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations,
>> 'I want to
>> go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..' I was at a loss
>> for words.
>> Finally, I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of
>> the town?' 'Yes,
>> what flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some
>> searching, I
>> came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
>> looked up every airport code
>> in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.'
>> The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
>> knows where it is.
>> Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New
>> York and
>> finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do
>> you?' The reply?
>> "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
>> Now you know why our society is in the shape that it is in,
>> and who is
>> causing it!

Bbear  (Level: 167.3 - Posts: 2297)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 12:01 AM

Ouch. Great thread. As a hospice, I could tell you some stories. Anyone wanna hear?

Papajensai  (Level: 201.7 - Posts: 1024)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 12:08 AM

oh yes please

Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 12:19 AM


Oh, BTW, a friend today told of her vacation to DC during 4th of July.

She said nobody had ever warned her, but that the Potomac River really stinks!

I'm sure you can guess my explanation about why it smells that way! (Picture emoticon holding nose)

Suzannec  (Level: 259.0 - Posts: 616)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 7:28 AM

I once had a co-worker at a church daycare ask for a list of the church funerals in advance.

Donleigh  (Level: 155.5 - Posts: 5413)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 9:02 AM

I once had a co-worker come to work one Sunday looking really tired. We asked her what she'd gotten up to on Saturday night, hoping for some details. She explained that it was the time change that had her so tired. She had to stay up 'til 2am to change all her clocks!

Bbear  (Level: 167.3 - Posts: 2297)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 10:56 AM

I admitted a family into the hospice program. Several days later I got a phone call from an irate daughter, screaming that my social worker went to their house and said the "F" word. I have been working with this woman for years and have never heard her say the "F" word. After calming the angry woman down, I finally got her to to say "That lady wanted to talk about my mama's funeral!" I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

Pennwoman  (Level: 162.2 - Posts: 2476)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 1:11 PM

ER Stories
Right after the Tyelnol poisonings
Woman brought her son in with fever -- asked if she gave him Tylenol --- got BLASTED for daring to suggest that she would poison her son. Asked her what did she give him then?

Woman brought son back in for vomiting -- asked her if the suppository she had been given for him, helped at all,
No, she said, he threw it up........had her kid chew the suppository, YUCK!

My daughter CANT be pregnant! She is only eleven!
I am sorry, but she is.
Well she will be twelve when the baby gets here so thats ok.

Phitzy1  (Level: 66.4 - Posts: 873)
Mon, 14th Jul '08 2:04 PM

OMG!!! That is SO FUNNY!!!!

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