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eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:43 PM

IN THE SPIRITY OF COMMUNITY...

I am going to share something personal about myself and hope that everyone else will join in. Maybe we can get this place back on track and get rid of the add a number or whatever those threads are.



When I was in 5th grade, I went to live with my sister in Alaska. She was Catholic and I had to attend church several times a week. I wasn't baptized and so when everyone went up to get communion, I stayed in my seat. I always wondered what those little wafers tasted like. Were they candy? Did you have to chew them? One day, on our way to town, my sister needed to go into confession. I was left out in the empty church by myself and there, sitting on a cart, was all the communion stuff. While no one was looking, I smurfed a handful of those wafers and put them in my pocket. Later, when I was alone, I tried one. Guess what, not candy. They were nasty. I was disappointed.


Your turn.








smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:44 PM

I have webbed feet.

keithr81052
Keithr81052  (Level: 150.2 - Posts: 147)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:47 PM

when I was an alter boy I used to drink the wine

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:49 PM

Smaug - please send pictures.

bleepy
Bleepy  (Level: 147.0 - Posts: 624)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:50 PM

I went to a Catholic HS. While helping out in the chapel, my friends and I have been known to sneak an occasional wafer. When I was in grade school, my friends and I got caught playing in the confessional box. Some old lady saw us and chased us out of the church.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 1:56 PM

Also vestigial wings, if you must know.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.5 - Posts: 1302)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 2:25 PM

When I was about 6, some friends and I saw these lovely, multi-colored vegetables drying on my friend Rene's neighbor's porch. We wanted to know what they were and what they looked like inside so we snatched one and ran to the porch of the church on the other side of Rene's house. There we opened the veggie and found tons of white seeds. We all examined it and were discussing what it might be when our eyes started burning and we all began to rub our eyes, which only made things worse. We all sat there screaming and crying until our mothers came and got us and I had to stand under the shower with my eyes open to wash out the burn from those peppers. Learned my lesson, though.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 161.8 - Posts: 2476)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 2:28 PM

I convinced my nephews that their dad (my brother) had a tail like a monkey, that that doctors had to cut off because we couldnt find pyjamas to fit him.
They dont believe anything I tell them anymore!

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 2:29 PM

My mother and father divorced when I was in my teens. My mother remarried a man that I think is wonderful, but catholic. My sister and I (also, my grandmother, father, and who knows else) had to fill out pages of personal essay type question and answer so my mom and stepdad could get married in the church. So that makes me a bastard or a bastardess. I am a very spiritual person and I believe in God, but I don't understand some of the nitpicky stuff that goes on in different religions that can't do anything except to make people feel bad or guilty.

Really though, I'm not still bitter!
Karen

Never did taste a wafer!

toledosugar
Toledosugar  (Level: 51.4 - Posts: 281)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:07 PM

My first husband was Catholic. Of course, my children became Catholic by extension. Have to admit I loved the mass, when it was still in Latin. Just couldn't agree with the rest of it. It didn't help that the husband was a philanderer, a drunk, couldn't keep a job and he was a mean drunk. All in all, none of it seemed very Christian to me.
Smaug, could I have pictures, as well?
Sharyn

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:18 PM

I dislike chocolate cake but will eat it if there isn't anything else.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.5 - Posts: 1302)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:26 PM

I love chocolate cake and have no will power at all when it comes to chocolate. I have to ask my husband to buy sweets I don't like to stay on a diet.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:32 PM

I once got poison ivy (severe case) on the insides of my thighs and thought it was herpes. The nurse at the doctor's office just stared at me for the longest time. I swear I thought she was about to confirm that, and then she starting laughing. I didn't know whether to be mad at her or relieved.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:37 PM

ps - thanks to Lodi for bringing sexy back to the dog! This is what makes Sploofus better than other game sites. I feel like we should all hold hands and sing koombahyah or I'd like to teach the world to sing! Anyway, koodos to you, Lodi, and thank you.

Karen

oldcougar
Oldcougar  (Level: 228.1 - Posts: 1935)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 3:46 PM

Judy, my hubby lost his job after nearly 34 yrs (he's currently working at one that's a 14 hr drive away, so we haven't seen him for 3 wks) & your unemployment quotes are just great. Needed a chuckle

Good quality chocolate is actually good for you. Is that fabulous news or what Mind, I don't think they mean you should eat the whole box of chocolates at once. Drat

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 4:04 PM

In one law firm where I worked, we would, on occasion, bring our dogs. One day, I had brought in Jock, our miniature schnauzer. One of the attorneys in our firm was a bit more pretentious than everyone else and he had a high profile (meaning $$$$) client and his wife come in. He was nervous, running around making sure his office was clean and impressive. He must have checked himself in the mirror I don't know how many times. He really wanted to score these clients. We were all rolling our eyes. Later that afternoon, after almost everyone was gone, I went in and plopped in one of his client chairs, while one of the other legal assistants was sitting in his chair. My eyes drifted over to the left and there, hidden from the sight of the attorney, but in plain site of the clients, was a pile of dog crap.

We all laughed until we had tears rolling down our faces. In fact, I'm laughing now.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 161.2 - Posts: 5412)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 4:06 PM

Well, after more than 20 years of giving my life to the place where I work, I am being "documented" for wrongs(?) and I can see the handwriting on the wall. If they would have waited until the end of Oct. I was planning to retire and ride off into the sunset then. As it is now, I am bitter and angry. In the past 20 years I've weathered some tough storms in that place, but I'm getting to the point I'm just too tired (and let's face it, too old) to tough it out. I've got other things I want to do in life. So I think I'll give my two week notice.

Oh nuts, that all sounds really depressing doesn't it?!

To add a little humor to this post, I'll include an old, old joke that is comes around every four years:
---------------------------

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Democrat: $100.00

+ Grilled Republican: $100.00


The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the Politician?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning."


jeannette
Jeannette  (Level: 114.2 - Posts: 1735)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 4:08 PM

My mother used to make wonderful cakes and buns , we were only allowed one at a time (big family ) i used to sneak down and pinch some for us all might i add put em in my lovely school nickers lol and we,d eat them .

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 4:39 PM

When I got out of the Army in '63 I went directly into party mode to catch up on all the good times I missed in the 2 years I was gone. I was divorced from my first wife just before entering service so upon my discharge I boarded with my granparents. One night (morning?) after making last call at one of the local saloons I returned home, pretty well bombed, and went to the kitchen to make my usual snack before bed. I found the little fiesta type refridge bowl that held my grandmothers world class sandwich spread and sat down at the table to clumsily make my sammy and feed by boozy face. Thought the sandwich spread tasted a little different as I crawled into bed but, so what.
Next morning I stumbled out of bed and went to the kitchen for my V8/bufferin hangover cure and was asked what I ate before I hit the sack and when I told her she laughed hysterically while informing me that I had a Puss'n'Boots on whole wheat. That night when I got home I found that my grandad had put a litter box in my room. I didn't use it.
Don

luvnmexsun
Luvnmexsun  (Level: 147.4 - Posts: 711)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 4:46 PM

By the middle of the first grade I was already bored. I could not imagine why we had to do the same thing over and over again. I also discovered it was fun to talk and play with my classmates. So, since I "already knew this stuff" I socialized, then went to the box where the worksheets were turned in to the teacher. I chose the best work from the best students in class, erased their names and put my name. Assignments done. I was smart enough to choose a variety of smart students to steal their work so it wouldn't be noticed. (As a teacher later in life I often realized students' cheating successfully used a lot of intelligence and creativity...often the effort being more than just doing the work! )

Eventually (though not for a couple months) I got caught. My teacher gave me no mercy. I lost recess (ACK! I was the tetherball champ at that point!) FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!! She made me do ALL the year's worksheets during recess whether I had actually done them or not. ALL OF THEM. It was painful, and I lost my "title" as the champ of tetherball. Sigh.

Never cheated again...just wasn't worth it.

Thanks Mrs. Regensburg... !

Sun



tsk9653
Tsk9653  (Level: 113.2 - Posts: 1466)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 5:29 PM

When I was in third grade -- before the U.S. Supreme Court rulings that held this kind of thing, thankfully, to be unconstitutional -- every Monday morning my teacher would ask each child if he/she had attended church on Sunday. Although I was probably the only religious skeptic in that class, I could almost always truthfully answer that I had been at church on Sunday -- because I went to the Unitarian Universalist Church or as I describe it now, the Church of Secular Humanism and Sunday Social club. Anyway, this put me in good with the teacher. Week after week this one little girl would say she had not been to church on Sunday. Finally, one day the teacher has just had enough of this girl's apparent lack of holiness and sharply asks her why she never goes to church on Sunday. The girl bursts into tears, and it turns out she's a Seventh Day Adventist who religiously attended Saturday services.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 5:58 PM

Oh my! I would have loved to see that teacher in tears after my mother got through with her (while not even bothering to remove the marlboro from between her lips).

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 6:01 PM

When I was in 5th grade in Baltimore City PS #2 in 1959, they fired our beloved Mr Harris for teaching us about his grandmother's menorah after we came back from the Christmas tree lighting.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 6:18 PM

I once sprayed the floor around a particularly obnoxious co-workers desk with pledge so it was nice & slick.




chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 6:18 PM

My grandfather was watching me when I was little and gave me M & Ms. I stuck two up my nose, and they began to melt. He took me to the ER because he thought I was dying. Nope, just chocolate.

They melt in your nose, not in your hands.

Me.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 6:29 PM

I feel a line has been crossed. We are going to have to step up our game to beat the chocolate snot.

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 6:41 PM

I despised and detested my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Drent, and she hated me. One day as I was returning to my seat in class, I slipped on an M&M and cracked my head against the corner of my desk. Blood everywhere (I am lucky to be alive, I'm told). Just before passing out altogether, I caught a blurry glimpse of Mrs. Drent. I had the distinct impression she was smiling.

crazy4games
Crazy4games  (Level: 124.7 - Posts: 1019)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 7:10 PM

When I was about 13 years old, my father had bought a new car. He kept the old car, a 65 Pontiac that he had planned to sell to a friend of his.
One day, while he and my mother were on a day trip, my friend and I were hanging around the house, and thought it would be fun to drive the car up and down our 1/4 mile long the driveway. Who would know? What could go wrong?
My trip down was was fine, and I could feel my confidence building. I expertly turned the car around, and started back up the driveway a little faster this time.
As Kelly and I were laughing and wondering what the big deal was about driving, suddenly my cat ran out in front of the car!
As I swerved to miss the cat, I accelerated and promptly drove the car into my mother's newly renovated kitchen.

crazy4games
Crazy4games  (Level: 124.7 - Posts: 1019)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 7:20 PM

I forgot to add that no one was injured as a direct result of the accident, and the cat was fine, but suffice it to say, that it was straight home after school and no allowance for a long time to come!

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 8:16 PM

Salzpat -- hang in there and get a good lawyer if you need it. Sounds like they don't want to pay the retirement.

I went to a strip club as an 18 year old gal (35 years ago) with a bunch of female friends who went on a dare. It was "amature night" and the top prize was 75.00. On yet another dare, I entered. This was many years, three kids and a number of pounds ago. Needless to say, I didn't win.

Don't tell Jim.

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 8:37 PM

When I was 11 years old, a lifelong friend came to stay with us for the summer (we are still friends to this day by the way). Can't remember what we did in the first place to get grounded but, while we were grounded, another friend (an older girl - she was about 15) came to the door and asked if we wanted to go to Centre Island (a beautiful park and small amusement park on Lake Ontario - you have to take a ferry from downtown Toronto). She had $20(!) and wanted to go with someone. Well, my sister and brother were in the apartment so we couldn't go back in to get our shoes or they'd know we were going somewhere so we went with her.. barefoot. We had to take a bus, a subway and a streetcar to get to the ferry. We stayed ALL day (my mom was working) and played. I called home from a payphone and my sister said I better get home NOW because Mom will be home soon so we booked it all the way home. After the streetcar, subway and bus ride home we thought we were in the clear cuz' Mom wouldn't be home from bingo until shortly after us.... well, turns out, she was on the same bus and we didn't see each other until we all got off the bus together (steps from home, d'oh!) !!! Needless to say, I was grounded for the rest of the summer.

I shudder to think that a child of mine would do something like that! lmao ... but, times were different back then. Even living in the City, no one worried about kidnapping or danger. My youngest is 15 and I'd clobber her if she tried something like that.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 8:49 PM

Me, my sister and a friend snuck out around 2am one night to roll some of the yards in the neighborhood. And we were so clever that we even rolled some of the trees in our own yard to deflect suspicion falling on us. We were in the clear until my sister decided to take a shower at 3:30am. Our punishment was weeding the next day.(pulling them, not smoking them)

donden
Donden  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 2127)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 8:50 PM

My 25th class reunion was coming up and I had no intentions of going. Back in school my friends and I were more the greaser types, Ducktails, pegs, low slung Levis, etc. with more interest in cars and Lucky Strikes than school functions, so we weren't exactly the class officer types.
About a week before the reunion I got a call from one of my friends who lived out of state and wanted to attend with his wife but didn't want to go unless at least another couple went with them. My wife and I agreed to go with them so they came to town the afternoon of the reunion.
We got to the Eagles club shortly after the party started and after signing in and getting our "Hello I'm --------" tags my friend thought we should switch. Now at this time I should mention that my buddy Hal is black. Well anyway we proved how popular we must have been in school because after about an hour of talking to people who mostly didn't know who the hell we were but thought they did, our cover was blown when a slightly inebriated little Peter Pan type looked at my name tag and said "I remember you, you're black!" Lots of embarrassed people there that night but fortunately Hal (May he rest in peace) and I weren't among them.
I did attend a few more after that. I guess my "classmates" must have, by then, remembered me as a "swell guy" LOL
DD

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 208.9 - Posts: 1120)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 9:41 PM

When I was about two years old my uncle,who was only six years older than me, lived next door at my grannie's house. He used to come over and occasionally bring a sugar bun as a treat for us to share. I could'nt pronounce sugar bun very well and when I saw him come in the door I would say "oogie", sooo....

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 9:58 PM

Gotta ask, what the hell is "rolled a yard"?

bigbird
Bigbird  (Level: 248.7 - Posts: 3337)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:01 PM

Oh dear...this sounds as if I am supposed to have a deep dark secret. Well...there was the time that I was six and stole a roll of life savers from a Howard Johnson's. Maybe that's why they went out of business??? I felt guilty about it for years.

Loved the HS reunion story. My high school had over 4,000 students. My graduating class had 1,249. Needless to say, I have never been to a reunion.

Taught for 34 years in a great New York City school, and am now doing consulting work for various schools in New York. Sometimes I even get to travel, so I've actually met Tuzilla (and Mrs. Tuzilla) with Vettage and Sploofwidow in Detroit, and Kaufman in NYC, and Linenlady and Luvnmexsun in CT. Anyone going to be in Prague in September?

Alice

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 208.9 - Posts: 1120)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:04 PM

Chick, rolling someones yard is when you tp all the trees and area around a house, with toilet paper.

mplaw51
Mplaw51  (Level: 184.4 - Posts: 1581)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:20 PM

I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school. I could talk for hours about the torture the nuns put us through. When I was in seventh grade JFK was assassinated. Mother Catherine announced on the PA that we should all bow our heads in prayer because our president had been shot and she didn't know if he was dead or alive. Well one of the boys in the class said, "Nixon did it!" and we fell apart laughing. The entire school was praying for JFK and we were laughing.

Now the teacher we had that year was a stone nut. She started to jump up and down and yell at us and said, "He's dead, he's dead and his death is on your heads." We were pretty shocked at that and stopped laughing, though I should mention a few years later this woman had a nervous breakdown. I'll never forget the crazy look on her face. She kept us entertained with her madness all year long, what a loon! The next day she apologized for her bad behavior but went off the deep end again by telling us we shouldn't have followed her example and started the tirade all over again.

I have to admit we went out of our way to bring out the "best" in her. It was a delight for us, in our ignorance, to watch her lose her cool and say crazy things. Poor woman, she didn't belong in a classroom. I think she ended up in a mental facility run by the order.

I'm not sure I feel all that bad about it all these years later. Catholic school was a TORTURE in the late 50's and 60's.
Maureen


chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:24 PM

Thanks Oog, thought it was like rolling a joint only WAY BIGGER...that's why the "weed pulling".

Ok, I'll get off of my pot references now.

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:34 PM

When I was in my first semester of college, I was working 40 hours during the day and taking 12 hours at night. I began dating this really hot guy I met there.

A few months later, I went with some girlfriends to La Bare (male strip club in Dallas - probably lots of other places now). I had been a very good girl growing up and was a little thrilled with myself for being so daring.

We had cocktails and were hooting and hollering like men (I guess).

About 5 dancers in - I looked up to see the guy I was dating.

Was a very interesting "son of a **" moment

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 10:49 PM

Ooops, forgot my current one.

New doctor's office this week, filling out the "New Patient" info.

No kidding, one of the questions was "Are you currently having sex?". Couldn't help myself so I wrote "Nope, currently I am filling out this questionnaire. Didn't think that was allowed in the waiting room".

Chuckled to myself, told the lady on the way out that they may want to reword that form.

Me.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:02 PM

My mom, now 78 years old and incredibly liberal (see liberal and take two lefts) was afraid to vote for Kennedy in 1960 because she was afraid the Vatican would take over the White House. Eh gad.

So chick, are you having sex now? If so you are multitasking.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:06 PM

I never tried amateur stripping but I did win a "Hottest Lips in the West" contest. I won $100.

I once dated a guy named Randy. I had broken up with Shawn to date Randy. Then later broke up with Randy to go back out with Shawn. A couple of years later, I ran into Randy (I had dumped Shawn again, long before that), and he told me he wanted to set me up with his new girlfriend's brother. I said no way, I don't do set ups. (Another story). Finally we agreed that he and the brother would go out dancing at this one place, and my friend and I would go dancing at the same place, and if things worked out, great. If not, no big deal. I agreed. So I met the other dude, he asked me to dance. I danced with him but with one look I knew there was no way in hell I was interested in him. Besides, I decided that maybe I liked Randy again. I looked over at Randy on the dance floor and he was dancing with someone. So I leaned over and said "GAWD! Who's that skank dancing with Randy?" The guy leans over and says (and I mean leans over because he was 6'6 and I'm 5'3) ....."That's my sister." Awkward moment.

When I met Scott, I was dating his best friend.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:11 PM

Okay, I'll tell a real story.

When I was maybe ten we were driving home from a church spaghetti dinner for which my Mom was the main cook.

I had a huge 5 gallon pot of marinara sauce on my lap. We came around a corner and a guy was backing up in our lane and we clipped him pretty good, more than a fender bender but not a dramatic crash.. My face hit the dashboard and the marinara sauce went everywhere.

My Mom asked if I was all right, and my face was sort of numb and I said yes (I had broken my nose it turned out later)

So my Mom gets out of the car and starts tutting over her fender and the other driver gets out, sort of laughing, drunk, and weaves over to my Mom, who snarls at him and frets over the bumper.

So the guys weaves around to my side of the car, looks in and starts WAILING in horror. I've never heard a sound like that before or after, haunts my dreams.

There I am, holding my face, covered in marinara gore, and my Mom is up front muttering about her bumper.

True story.



knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:25 PM

Did you take pictures for the insurance? I'd sure love to see that!

koota
Koota  (Level: 187.3 - Posts: 2114)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:28 PM

I used to be a member of a very small church with about 100 active members. Being such a small church, everyone participated. One day, while sitting in front of the entire congregation waiting to read the Scripture of the Day, I dropped the bible that I was going to read from.

I said, "DAMN!"

I still can't believe that a lightning bolt rip through the ceiling right there. I'll have some 'splaining to do at the Pearly Gates.

Lodi ... we're dying to know why you don't do set ups.

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.5 - Posts: 1302)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:29 PM

Lodi, that is so funny about Scott. I met my hubby while dating his best friend. Another of his friends met his wife while she was dating the same friend. We all owe Don a lot. Strangely, he doesn't live around here anymore.....

The HS reunion story is hilarious. I did attend my 20 year and it was funny how everyone got along and we were all laughing and sharing stories and the cliques didn't seem to matter anymore (I hated HS), but when we sat down to eat, I swear, everyone sat at tables by cliques!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Wed, 23rd Jul '08 11:32 PM

There was a guy I had wanted to date but he was going out with someone else.

I ran into him later and found out he wasn't dating anyone - neither was I - so we made a date.

I wound up having to stand him up because of work - really made me mad because I REALLY liked him.

fast forward 6 years (and no "make up" date) - I meet my husband, we marry, and he tells me that he wants to invite a friend of his he drives with and his wife with us when we go skiing. So I go to work to pick him up and meet the guy & his wife - it was the guy I had stood up.

We all wound up becoming really really good friends - his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after they had their first child, and with her husband being a truck driver (like mine) I did the support system thing - was awkard initially - but all's well that end's well (for them) - my husband - 18 years later - whatever midlife crises he's going thru - we'll see what that looks like later - he put in apps for jobs today (tapping fingers on desk waiting for phone to ring)

Swear - TRUE story

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:07 AM

Thanks for asking, Chick.. I was wondering what rolling a lawn was too! .. although I was trying to figure out how you steal a lawn lol

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:16 AM

Ok, and just FYI, in the midwest, we call it TP'ing, or TeePee ing.

Whatever

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:26 AM

Tee Peeing here too. Toilet paper is too expensive now. We don't "egg" anymore either.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:35 AM

I have never done anything wrong or embarrassing.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:48 AM

That's because you've always felt justified & proud?

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:51 AM

This is the most entertaining thread I have seen on here in a long time. Thanks, Lodi!

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:52 AM

You're welcome! Maybe we can pull this place back together.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 1:01 AM

When I joined in February there was a lot of Salty Dog threads like this one. I thought I was so lucky to happen upon a site like this - feeling that way again now!

By the way - I don't consider myself new. I see people who have been on here for 1 - 2 years still saying they are new. Are you freakin' kidding me?

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 1:03 AM

Oh, and thank you, Lodi, for taking the Will Farrel quiz. My 15 year old son wrote it!

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 161.2 - Posts: 5412)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 2:03 AM

When I was probably 4 years old my parents' friends and their children came to have watermelon one evening. I was sittig on the ground at the corner of the house eating my slice of melon. My brother and his friend Bobby (they were probably 12-13 years old) came over to me.

"You know," Bobby said, "if you swallow some watermelon seeds, eat a handful of dirt and drink lots and lots of water, you'll grow watermelons in your tummy."

I didn't believe him, but Bobby assured me he knew exactly what he was talking about.

I waited until they went on to other things and then I swallowed several seeds, crunched down some powder-fine dirt and then went to get a glass of water. I wasn't sure how long it would take but after a couple weeks I finally figured out I had been lied to. I may look now like those seeds finally grew and grew but don't think that's the case!

bigbird
Bigbird  (Level: 248.7 - Posts: 3337)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 5:33 AM

Your guy stories are all great. Lodi says she doesn't do fix-ups. Well... embarrassingly enough, I married a blind date set up by my mother. It was very soon after my soap opera style divorce. But that's another story.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:27 AM

OK, I'll spill some beans, but it will have to be later in the day as I'm off to the gym.

OK, here's a quick gym story - just happened this week. I roll out of bed at 5:00 a.m., put together my gym clothes and my clothes for the day, and head in for my workout, all bleary eyed. As I was getting ready on Monday, I pulled out a pair of blue shorts I had made from cut off sweat pants. I thought "I love these shorts, they are my favorite. I wonder why I never wear them to the gym anymore?" I shrugged and put them on. I had a good workout that day, lots of leg presses and used a lot of different machines. If you know how the machines at the gym work, you know that lots of places on your body are exposed to view while using them. I did get some double takes that day - just thought maybe I was looking mighty fine. I even kinda grinned to myself. Later, after my workout, I went in to take a shower, and as I was undressing, I looked down at my shorts I had just taken off and about died. Oh yeah, that's why I quit wearing those. The entire crotch of them was disintegrated. That's how old they are. And it just so happens, I was wearing flesh colored underpants. Sheesh.

I would like to end this story saying that I threw my shorts away, but.......I just can't. I still love them. Which means I'll probably be repeating this story sometime in the future.

OK, off to put on a different pair of shorts and head to the gym.

heidi
Heidi  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 694)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:39 AM

I was raised a Catholic because my parents were and now my kids are. They are about as good Catholics as I was which was lousy. Not knocking the religion-some very good folks there. I have been both widowed and divorced (twice). In my opinion the ones I divorced weren't worth a dam.-sure they felt the same about me. At least the dead one was an excellent father while he lived. I have given birth to 4 children-3 alive and grown now and seemly doing pretty well in life considering-and one stillborn. Therefore, don't want to hear how it hurts for you to pee, Smaug-try giving birth and you will know true pain-you can talk about it as you are clever and funny and are one of the ones keeping this site alive. Throughout my life I have been a major f---up at times but think as an old lady I have ended up on the kind side-thanks for the thread, Lodi-Linda

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 10:41 AM

Thanks for sharing a part of you with us, Linda. That's what this thread is all about.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 10:50 AM

Wait, Lodi, back up. Love the shorts story but...I'm confused about something.

What on earth is 5:00 AM?

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:30 AM

OK, as promised. Why I don't do setups.

During the whole dating fiasco with Shawn & Randy, we had this legal intern at our firm that was absolutely to die for. He was funny, gorgeous, tall, an athlete, and I would have dated him in a heartbeat, but he was married. However, he said one of his fellow law students was single and he said that we were perfect for each other.

I inquired about said fellow law student, because I'm always curious what other people think is "perfect" for me. It gives me insight on how they see me and its not always how I see myself. So Joe tells me that NORM is very tall, very good looking, very funny, smart, and works nights as a bartender in a local college bar and women throw themselves at him all the time. So, I said ok.

I was sick with anticipation all day. Finally, the time had arrived. I actually hear Norm coming long before I ever saw him. He pulled up in a rusted out big old car that obviously had lost its muffler about the same time it lost most of its paint. The door sqeaked open and slammed shut and out walked Norm. Yes, he was tall. But that's where Joe's description stopped. He came in, we tried to make small talk, it was awkward. I had fixed dinner and that was a mistake. That means we were trapped and had to make small talk. After a painful dinner, we went out for drinks with a couple of my friends. I was so grateful for the conversation. I mostly ignored Norm but felt bad about it. I was just getting ready to turn my attention to him, when he lit up a ciggie. That was it for me. I pretty much called it a night, thanked him for coming, and went home.

The next Monday, as soon as Joe walked into the door, I lit into him. I told him how awful the date was, how dare he think Norm and I were perfect for each other and if that's the way he saw me, then he was an idiot, it was my worst date EVER, yada yada yada.

And then Joe said "Yeah, I know. That's what Norm said." It stopped me right in my tracks. OMG, I was somebody else's horrific blind date.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:30 AM

Thanks, Lodi - the shorts story gave me a good laugh! I have a clothes story. First, let me say that I am a good mother. Okay. One evening I met some girlfriends out for dinner. It was really hot but we decided to sit outside at this mexican restaurant anyway. Then we started sipping margaritas. Then we starting drinking margaritas. Then on to slurping them. We didn't eat much. Our designated driver was taking us home - me first - and when I got to my house I threw up before I could even get inside. My girlfriends took me inside, took the overalls I was wearing over a bikini off and put me in bed. I woke up the next day in a panic because I realized I needed to be at my son's school in minutes. I grabbed the overalls and put them on and started towards the school. What is that smell - I wondered. A good bit of my throwup had landed in the top front pocket of my overalls. Thank God it was carpool and I didn't have to get out of the car. I don't know if they would have let my son get in the car with me. That was a few years back - I don't drink tequila anymore.

difod
Difod  (Level: 254.2 - Posts: 108)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:53 AM

When I was a young boy, I discovered a dead snake in a shallow pool of water. It must have been over 2 feet long, and of course I thought it was very cool.
I decided that I wanted to keep this snake forever, so I put in the kitchen freezer so it wouldn't spoil.

Later that day, I was jolted by a blood-curdling scream from my Mom. Yup...she found my treasure in the freezer!

Dad came running to the rescue, grabbed my snake, and proceeded to fling it into the brush fields behind our house.
After a stern lecture from my Dad, I recall being bummed for quite a while.

jeannette
Jeannette  (Level: 114.2 - Posts: 1735)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:58 AM

lol thanks lodi .I was going out with Ian lovely lad ,but very boreing ,me and and my friend met these two lads at a disco ,and arrange to meet them next day (because they had a car how shallow lol)we told our respective boyfriends that we were finished with them and had met someone new ,we,d arranged to meet the lads in bus station needless to say they didnt turn up.But worst of all the exes where there to see us getting stood up.she,d told hers where we were meeting them .was only 15 art time so thats my excuse lol

osuzannacollage
Osuzannacollage  (Level: 132.1 - Posts: 1299)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:07 PM


When I was four or five, my family was busy playing Goofy Golf on the beautiful Redneck Riviera (Panama City Beach, FL) during one of our summer vacations. Mother had just gotten out of traction as a result of an unfortunate error in judgement -- mine, that is. I had jumped off of a stone wall onto her back six weeks earlier, which turned out not to have been such a good idea.

Daddy was an excellent golfer, and I'd spent way too many Saturdays being quiet watching him play in tournaments. He had an excellent swing, deadly accurate and fluid. It was truly a beautiful thing to behold. I soon tired of the snail's pace of putting around on the miniature course, and decided to imitate my dad. Naturally, Mother was standing right behind me as I suddenly swung that putter backwards. It was a full force contact, quite out of the blue. I'd struck again -- literally.

After the trip to the Emergency Room, we headed straight back to Georgia for some extensive dental work -- something involving a bridge and a lot of wiring.

Funny how I've never heard the end of that one...my favorite childhood vacation memory will always be the one with Mother's new helmet hairdo and the spitting peanut-fed llama at the roadside zoo. But that's an entirely different story.

Susan

barb1111
Barb1111  (Level: 112.5 - Posts: 215)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:39 PM

Lodi, I too never did fix-ups but it wasn't because of what happened to me but to a friend of mine. Back in my teens, my friend Joanne was fixed up with the friend of another friend's boyfriend. He called her to set up a date for that Saturday night. She then called me to tell me how nice he sounded over the phone, how she couldn't wait to meet him, etc. Me being the nosy person that I am decided to hang out at her house on Saturday to check out the "blind date from heaven". The doorbell rang, her mom answered the door and in walked this really cute blind man. True story, her blind date was blind. A fact that her friend neglected to tell her. He turned out not to be so nice after all so that was the end of her getting fixed up and my never accepting the offer.



snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:54 PM


I am cancelling my subscription to "Reader's Digest".

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 12:59 PM

Are you sure? Its pretty hard to miss out on that "Humor in Uniform" section.

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 1:07 PM


Positive. I like my anecdotes edgy.

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 1:48 PM

Well.. now that we are one date stories lol...

I've said it before here.. I'm a huge time travel story buff. Waaaay back in 1984ish, I was dating the prettiest boy I had ever dated up to then.. couldn't believe my luck.. he was HOTTT lol ... picture a better looking Tom Cruise. We had dated briefly in high school and then hooked up again shortly after.

When Back to the Future came out, I really wanted to see it. I knew it was light fare as far as the time travel genre goes but, I was gung ho. Now, I realize that some of the stories can get quite intricate and hard to follow but, this one - to me - was a joke. Very entertaining but definitely not taxing.

We left the theatre and his first comment was "I didn't get it". I sighed.. but he was sooooo pretty! lol

bigbird
Bigbird  (Level: 248.7 - Posts: 3337)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 2:29 PM

Ooh - Snake story. I have a snake story. I had a snake in the back of my classroom - a pretty large snake at that. He was in a tank with a screen top with heavy rocks on top. No way that snake could get out!

However one morning, when I let my morning monitors in to the room, they reported that the snake was missing. Couldn't believe it. Looked all over the place. No snake in the room. Well now, here's the dilemma. Do you tell the administration that the snake is missing and make everyone crazy? Or do you just keep your mouth shut and hope that he will show up crawling out from behind radiators or something during the day? A few kids were in the know, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

And then came the loudspeaker announcement later in the afternoon. I was being paged to the home economics room - stat! Snakey had crawled through the wall from my 2nd floor classroom to the basement, and found a warm spot behind one of the stoves.

I never had a snake again.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 3:05 PM

When I was in sixth grade, we could go to a local junior high every two weeks on Tuesday night to swim in the big indoor pool they had there, part of a YMCA after school program. It was all boys and we swam nude. (I think they said it kept from getting lint in the filters or something.) Anyway, it was a big deal for me to get to swim in the winter in Minneapolis, and I never missed a chance to go. One Tuesday I got on the bus and got to the school late, after everyone was already in the pool. I undressed in the locker room, took my shower, and walked out of the locker room into the pool area, and noticed that it wasn't the usual crowd. It was a bunch of junior high girls. They all had their swimsuits on, and I was in my birthday suit. It was the wrong Tuesday, of course. The shrieks from the girls followed me as I retreated back into the shower room, so thankful that I hadn't just run in and jumped in the pool. I had dreams about it for years. Not all of them bad dreams, either.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 4:01 PM

That's funny except you're still trying to pull off the "oops, is this the wrong Tuesday again?" gig.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 4:22 PM

I think if I'd done it again I might have had some 'splainin' to do, Lucy.

oogie54
Oogie54  (Level: 208.9 - Posts: 1120)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 4:46 PM

When I was a sophomore in HS my best friend was trying to get a date with a girl and her friend wanted to go. He suggested a double-date with me going along, and was explaining to the other girl who I was(we had a class together). It was fall of the year when my hay-fever was at it's worst so I usually sat in the back of the room, which he told her. She replied"Oh yeah....he's that guy who sits there and blows his nose all the time!" Needless to say...no date.

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:01 PM


My ex's pet name for me was "Ookie" (gee, wonder what brought that to mind--). Eighteen years of Ookie.

He calls his girlfriend "Cupcake" and "Sweetie Pie" and "Honey Bunny".

Cupcake does not cook, nor does she clean. She is not particularly bright, and neither is she particularly attractive. There is only one thing I can think of, and it's not her singing voice.

To Cupcake let us garlands bring.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:04 PM

I was terrorized as a child by a horribly mean one-eyed chihuahua named Tag. May that little bastard rot in mean doggy hell.

felix
Felix  (Level: 109.3 - Posts: 2500)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:53 PM

I was a stunt baby.

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:53 PM

Chihuahua's are evil

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4285)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 8:57 PM

When I was little, I had a chihuahua named Gigi. She was very sweet.


eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:14 PM

My dog, Twisty, was bitten by a rattlesnake in my back yard, when I was a kid.

lucimoore
Lucimoore  (Level: 191.7 - Posts: 1731)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:14 PM

Okay this is nightmare stuff that you remember all your life. When I first started dating Don, my husband, we were watching movies at the apartment he shared with two other guys. Their dates were there also. I excused my self and went to the restroom. I was hurrying and in my haste pulled up my underwear and slacks too fast catching the toliet paper before it could go into the bowl. I washed my hands and brushed my hair before leaving the restroom. Thank God I just had to pee because I walked back down the hall and into the living room with a toliet paper tail trailing behind me. Don quickly grabbed the paper and wadded it up. Not one person said a word. But neither did I make eye contact with them either. Talk about a "don't eat anymore popcorn until you wash your hands" moment. I guess I knew that night he really must love me. We both still laugh so hard when we talk about that night.

kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 267.4 - Posts: 3941)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:25 PM

My big dirty secret is ...

Are you ready?

I'm so boring, I don't think I have a big, dirty secret.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:27 PM

oh Ken, you're such a liar.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:31 PM

Mine is not MY story but one I think I heard on the View....a day or two ago....
They were interviewing Michael Caine, who happened to mention that - as a
young, just-becoming-famous actor - he had met John Wayne.
He asked Mr.Wayne if he had any advice for him.............
"I sure do Son....Speak slooooww and sooooftttt - and MOST IMPORTANT
When you have to use a public toilet to pee - always use a stall.
Because if you stand at a urinal - the guy next to you is sure to recognize you.
Then - to get a better look - he''ll turn his body to face you....
And your shoes will get wet !!!!

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:31 PM

Easy - I read out loud your story about Tag to my son - that was a good one! He thinks you're pretty funny and he is a tough audience!

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:33 PM

When my kids first got to the point everything on the radio was coming out of their mouths, I realized that I was going to change my music - for a little while anyway & we started listening to Christian Rock - which I like too.

After the kids got older, we started alternating between Christian Rock & my Newest Favorite Station Jack FM (100.1 in Dallas) -- and one of my old faves (before marriage, before kids - etc) came on "Lola".

We are driving along & I'm singing and the kids are singing - about the only part they get is the "Lo Lo Lo Lo Lo-LA!" -- and I start for the FIRST time in all the years singing it really listening to it.....

So Lola got kicked off for awhile - til they got a bit older AGAIN - and we are all old enough to laugh and appreciate just how funny that particular song is...

Boring, but true.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 9:48 PM

Kaelin: what? You mean Lala was about a man??? Be still my heart.


smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:12 PM

Well I'm not dumb but I cant understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:18 PM

BBear - you might be confusing Lola with Layla.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:30 PM

Well... ease my worried mind.

pepperdoc
Pepperdoc  (Level: 152.5 - Posts: 4285)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:33 PM

I had an aquatic frog that jumped out of my fish tank. I found his shriveled dehydrated body on the carpet. I'm still in therapy.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:33 PM

Layla was written about Pattie Boyd from a seventh century Arabian fable.

See my Clapton quiz, entitled Clapton. It won an editor's award, and is a scintillating fun filled romp for the whole family. You'll laugh until you cry.

That quiz again is Clapton, by Smaug. Clapton by Smaug. Don't forget to take Clapton, by Smaug

This message brought to you by the Committee to Promote Clapton by Smaug in Salty Dog TM

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 24th Jul '08 11:37 PM

Who is this Smaug character of which you speak?



smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:05 AM

I'm glad you asked.

Smaug is the author of the Clapton quiz, entitled Clapton, by Smaug. It is an award-winning, scintillating fun filled romp for the whole family. You'll laugh until you cry.

This message brought to you by the Committee to Promote Clapton by Smaug in Salty Dog TM

fudypatootie
Fudypatootie  (Level: 205.5 - Posts: 1302)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:05 AM

The comment "not MY story" made me think of this one...

I went to Little Rock to visit my BF, Angie, after she had her daughter. I had a relatively new car at the time and had just put new tires on it. I woke up in the morning to find that someone had stolen the tires, wheels, lug nuts, everything, and left my car sitting on rocks in the parking lot of the "gated" apartment complex. The car shops did not have the size wheels I needed in stock and I would have had to stay for 3 more days to get them in, so I bought wheels and tires from a junk yard for $80 and went home.

Soon after, B.B. King was playing in LR and the local radio station was giving away 2 tickets to the best hard-luck story. Angie called the radio station and told them MY story and WON!! But she didn't call and invite me to go to the concert with me because she was afraid I wouldn't want to come to LR again. She's still catching heck over that one.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:15 AM

Okay, so maybe I have done a few bad and/or funny things, but none of them are family-friendly and the statute of limitations hasn't run out on a couple of the best ones.



I'm thinking, I'm thinking!

donleigh
Donleigh  (Level: 155.0 - Posts: 5393)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:34 AM

There was this pool party for work one year. It was a hot, starry night and after way too much wine I had gone swimming. I got out of the pool and put on a t-shirt so I could take down the straps of my suit to cool off faster. A little while later, someone suggested going back in the water. Off came my shirt but, whoops, I forgot to put up the suit first. Flashed the men, and the women told me to stop showing off.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:48 AM

The summer before my senior year in high school, I had my senior pictures taken by some obscure photo place in Spokane, Washington. About 2 weeks after I was done, one of the two guys called me and told me they wanted me to be a model for them. Of course, I was flattered. They started telling me how they were going to help me create a portfolio or something. The were asking me about clothes I had and what I could bring to the shoot. They also then asked if I could bring a man's white button up shirt because that would be really "sexy." Oh boy. I got a weird vibe and never showed up for the shoot and they never called me back.

Now I regret not going and not having some pictures of myself when I was young & had a smokin' hot bod.

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 1:42 AM

Ok.. Cindy and Donna.. I have a story that combines yours - work, wine and toilet paper lol

Our company puts on a pretty nice shindig for the Xmas party every year. We all travel to Niagara Falls.. are treated to a beautiful party, delish dinner and open bar until dinner, with wine on the tables during dinner and they put us up in the Sheraton for the night. Now, I'm not an alky but have been known to tip a few in my day. Open bar - work party - what are they thinking?? lol

Anyhoot.. my BFF is the receptionist in my small office (we are a satellite to the big Toronto office) so we travel down to the party together with her husband and our other male best friend (he's usually my date cuz I'm a loser - we are not romantically involved). We always get adjoining rooms so we can hang out before and after the party.

Not so long ago, I partook a little too liberally of the open bar and dinner wine. After spilling red wine on the big boss's shirt, we decided it was time to take our leave so we went up to our rooms and prepared for bed. At some point during the night I must have gone to the washroom (don't remember). When I awoke in the morning, all 3 of my friends were hooting and howling. There was a trail of toilet paper running from the roll in the washroom.. around the corner.. over my friends' bed.. down to the floor between the beds and up and under my blanket. When I pulled the blanket off me to see what the fuss was about (and none too bright and spritely mind you), the TP was tucked into my PJ bottoms AND my underwear!! I must have walked over his bed on the way to mine in order to make this trail lol. Thank God it was only my three closest friends who witnessed this BUT they'll never let me live it down.

Funniest thing was.. we couldn't believe the TP didn't break during my travels.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 1:49 AM

That's a scream! I had a puppy once who TP'd my whole apartment while I was at work, pulling from the roll in the bathroom - without breaking it!

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 2:28 AM

Okay, that reminds me of one that might get past the censors.

When I first came to Florida (this time), I was newly and reluctantly single, in my late 30s but looked 10 years younger, and in probably the best physical shape of my life. In other words, as close to hot as I ever got. So I moved to a Navy town with 40,000 hardbodied, f-i-i-i-i-ne young men in pretty white uniforms. Man smorgasbord, oh my goodness gracious. There was lots of mutual appreciation. But gosh, they were young (little did I know I was weeks away from marrying one of them), and one night when two of them were going to fight about which one I was leaving with (as if they had a say in it), I just got in my old tan-on-brown VW bus and drove away and left them to it, and went to the beach alone. Buzzed. At 2AM.

I lived quite nearby, the beach was maybe a mile away, and it's possible I wasn't even legally drunk; and it seemed like such a fun idea at the time, to just ditch the pressure of being "with" another person and just go enjoy the ocean at night for myself. I parked Bertha under a bright light in the middle of the parking lot of St Somebody's Chapel-by-the-Sea, and walked out to the beach, maybe 50 yards across a grassy patch to sand and the long sloping beach, and way way out, the surf. Now, this is a populated beach in a town, hotels with houses in between, quite near the water at high tide, lights not far away, but the tide was at full ebb and it was dark at water's edge, no moon, nary a soul to be seen in any direction. Nothing but starlight and sky and ocean and wind and me. It was magnificent. In no time at all the beers were all up in my head pitching the idea of a little swim. But I didn't have a towel, and who wants to ride home in wet clothes, right?

I'd waded quite far up the beach by then, still in sight of the church but away from lights and houses, alongside a low sea wall far back from the water, and that seemed the perfect place to leave my shoes and clothes. I shucked my leather and laundry and ran for the waves! Woohoo! Pure elemental romp, omigod was it bliss; a long rolling shallow surf you could lay down in and be tumbled over and over. The deliciousness quite defies my powers of description.

And then I was exhausted and it was time to go, before early risers and bikers and dog-walkers and metal-detector people showed up an hour before sunrise. Like they do. So I go trotting, dripping, up the beach toward the sea wall, thinking I'm headed right for my gear, but, oh bloody hell, there's no sea wall! Nothing. Sand, then dunes and someone's house. With a light on. And a dog barking. And as I reorient myself to the church where the bus is, I realize that the wind, coming strong out of the southeast and tumbling me so blissfully in the surf, had tumbled me about a quarter mile north up the beach.

Now it seems there are lights everywhere, and they're all blinding me and I'm holding my hands up to block them, squinting and peering into the blackness for my clothes, shoes, anything familiar. But that strong wind had blown a LOT of the sand on that long beach further up the beach. So far up the beach that I couldn't find the wall. if there ever was a wall. But I KNOW there were clothes, and I didn't find them either.

The worst is beginning to occur to me now, and it must be 4AM or later. There's a definite shade of gray in the formerly ink-black sky, but it's still pitch black toward land where I'm desperately looking but beginning to give up on finding my clothes. This would be a good time to explain that my habit was to leave the bus keys laying up on top of the back tire, having had previous unhappy experience with losing car keys at the beach.

All hope abandoned, I scurry for the bus before it gets too light and people show up. Almost back to where I came onto the beach, I can see the bus clearly now. Under the bright light. In the middle of a church parking lot. Oh boy. Nothing to do now but sprint for it, back across the dark swath of grass between the beach and the parking lot, into which I took three full steps before receiving a message I had not gotten through my shoes. The "grass" was a heavy growth of a low-growing federally-protected dune plant, which was already doing a pretty good job of protecting itself - with fine red thorns like whiskers that itch and burn like mad, billions of which I now had in the soles of both feet, and darned if it didn't hurt so much when I tried to stop the sprint that I went down on my hands and knees. That's right. naked in a briar patch in a churchyard at 4AM. Woohoo.

I don't remember making it to the bus, but I did somehow, and I remember the grit of the floormats I tried to cover up with, and how light the sky was when I pulled into our apartment complex, and how I tried to cover my bits with Volkswagen floormats, which are not big, and get into my apartment without going to jail or being evicted. I was on fire from the thorns. Maybe my daughter will tell her story about the time her mom cam home in the wee hours and she had to help her pick millions of tiny thorns out of her ass with tweezers. That's a real funny one.




eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:26 AM



1mks
1mks  (Level: 219.3 - Posts: 5924)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:56 AM

I'm not sure anyone can top that one.

zeedee
Zeedee  (Level: 233.6 - Posts: 1088)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 9:03 AM

You have all led more amusing lives than I have.

Sigh.............



jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 10:03 AM

Look - enough Catholic bashing. It's downright offensive.....



to us Baptists and Methodists who are being ignored! There's gotta be somebody with a funny Baptist/Methodist situation.

Mine's not all that funny but embarrassing. When my son was a young teen he had lots of friends his own age at our Bible church. They always sat in the front pew.

One evening service, one of the kids cut a loud one - during the sermon. I was so very proud of my son, as he was the only one of those kids who kept his composure and didn't snicker and distract.

Till afterward when I found out it was he who cut it.

pennwoman
Pennwoman  (Level: 161.8 - Posts: 2476)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 10:42 AM

My grandfather was Methodist minister (and one of the meanest men alive).
We were in Georgia -- my dad was in the Army -- my parents decided it was time for us to go to church and sunday school.
When my sister and I arrived to sunday school, we were invited to sing a song for the group (holy crap! no pressure there)
So we did.
Dont remember the title or all of it but the song went like this
Once I went a swimmin'
where there were no women
or no men to see
As no one was there
I hung my underwear
upon a willow tree
then I dove into the water
just like Pharohs daughter
something something
when I went to something
someone had stole my underwear
and left me bare for all to see...............

the Sunday School teacher, snatched my parents up on their arrival - we never went back, LOL

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 11:23 AM

heehee! I like your song.

Back when I was a child I attended a small local Baptist church (not affiliated with any big group). We were always encouraged to invite our friends. Now remember, this was in the late 50s. One little boy brought his best friend, who happened to be African'American.

I thought our pastor's wife was going to faint - she was huffing around trying to explain how blacks were not allowed in our church and somebody had to do something. Even then, I knew how horrible that was.

Later, in my early 20s, our church started a daycare and I worked with the 4 year olds. And the majority of my children were black. And it gave me so much joy to invite them and their parents to our church - I often went and picked up several of my kids when the parents couldn't come. Things were finally the way they should be.

But I was affected forever (sparking the human rights activist in me!) by that pastor family's offensive hysterics.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 12:03 PM

Some people are such idiots. And hypocrites.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 1:30 PM

We all remember the moments of Christian idiocy and hypocrisy. We don't hear much about the good - Christians give more, help the poor and hungry more than anyone on earth - not in their own name, but in the name of a loving God.

I have 2 stories of good.

1. When I was alone and didn't know what to do with my life, I was working as an accompanist for a school district. My friends were all teachers, and they kept insisting I should finish my degree and become a choir director. I had such great directors in school and afterward, and I just didn't believe I could live up to those teachers.

So one Sunday night, I'm praying and feeling pressured to do something I wasn't sure I wanted to do, and so I pray, in truly a unkind, quite smart aleck attitude, "Look God, if you want me to be a teacher, YOU pay for it, cause I can't afford to go back to college."

There - I figure that settles it and I went to sleep.

A couple of days later, I ran up to church (where I was pianist) to get some music, and the associate pastor met me in the hall. He said, "Did you get your check?" I said, "No, it's not payday." He said, "You mean nobody told you? Come with me to the office."

He took me to the secretary and picked up a $500 check made out to me. He said, "Sunday night during the altar call, a crippled man who was visiting came up to me and handed me this check for $500 with the name not filled out. He told me he didn't know why or what it was for, but that God had just told him to give that lady there (pointing to me at the piano) $500. So here it is."

I've heard of things like that happening, but never knew of anyone personally.

Now - the cool thing is - the guy handed the pastor this check 3 hours BEFORE the smart aleck "YOU pay for it" prayer.

The next day, I was enrolling at UTA in Arlington.

2. The weekend before I returned to UTA Arlington to finish that degree, I was moving my stuff out of a storage and dropped a space heater on my foot. It immediately got huge and I couldn't walk on it. I thought, that's great. Here I'm trying to do what God wants me to and go to college, and now I have a broken foot to start to college with - I'm 42 and all those kids are going to make HUGE fun of me, not to mention having to limp around the campus.

That was on Saturday. The next Tuesday, I went to a P&W service at Christ for the Nations Institute (Kaelin, you'll know what that is). I didn't go forward to pray or be healed and I didn't even pray for healing myself. I just sang and praised God in the service, my foot now huge and black from bruising and wearing a walking foot boot.

Anyway, the next morning I woke up. All the swelling and bruising and color were completely gone. I could put on any of my shoes I wished, even the tightest ones. I was healed.

The next Saturday, I played tennis. Sure enough, I played as horrible as always! But there was no soreness or pain. The healing was complete, and all those kids I went to college with saw the miracle.

So real Christianity is not mean, not ugly. True Christianity is a beautiful, miraculous thing. And God really is love. The bad doesn't come from Him. And I'm so sorry so many of you (and us) have had bad experiences with people who did NOT follow the true, loving teachings of God. It all got twisted up somewhere - but those twistings did NOT come from God.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 161.2 - Posts: 5412)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 2:47 PM

Hey Jank, very cool and inspiring stories. I hope you have written them up for Guideposts magazine.

I've only had one real experience of divine intervention as you describe. About 25 years ago my husband and I were traveling in a very remote area of Nebraska on slippery clay roads. It was raining buckets and it was pitch black out except for the lightning once in a while. My husband was exhausted and couldn't drive any further so I took over. I had never been on this road (he's an expert on back roads -- shortcuts he calls 'em!) and so I was truly driving blind. When he leaned back in the passenger seat he said, "Watch out for the a dead end up ahead. If you don't turn left you'll go down a steep embankment."

With that he went to sleep and I putted along about 15-20 miles an hour with visibility low because of the pouring rain.. Sure enough after about 20 or 30 minutes I came to an illuminated sign with arrows going left and right, so I knew that was the dead end. I turned left and continued on. I slowed down as we neared the town we were going to and he woke up and said, "I see you missed the dead end."

I said, "Well it wasn't that difficult with that road sign with arrows pointing right and left."

He asked, "What sign?"

I insisted there was a sign there, and he insisted there wasn't a sign there because he was familiar with the road..

So the next day we drove out to the road with the dead end and there was no sign. He thought perhaps I had gotten off on a side road and so we checked several places but we never found a road with a dead end and a sign with arrows pointing both ways. Don't know what the deal was, but I have to think that sign was there briefly and for a reason, whether it was in my head or actually there. However it happened, it saved us from having an accident.

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 4:09 PM

Janice and Pat....
Those are wonderful and inspiring stories about your experiences
Hearing more and more anecdotes like that, and having had a few
of my own over the years....I believe God is sending his angels to
reinforce our Faith - in the face of the increasing horrors all
around us, in the World today.
I don't believe in Churches or man-made rules for Living....but I do
believe in God and Divine Intervention.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 4:13 PM

Awesome, Pat. Gives me chillbumps every time I hear of a miracle. I'm so glad you made it through!

Ok - I'll add one more, which actually has to do with the tragedy I told people about in my thread a few days ago.

My aunt died in the car wreck. She was awake for a few moments before she died at the scene. The EMT told my cousin who lived there that before she died, she told him to tell her family she loved them, and she started just saying the names of family members and saying "I love you" to each of them until she passed away lying there on the street.

At that very moment, her other daughter and son-in-law and grandchildren were in an airliner on the tarmac at Houston getting ready to take off for Florida and a big family cruise. This daughter on the airliner suddenly had a vision of her mom lying down, calling out the names of family members, saying "I love you.” By the time they reached Florida, the family had changed their tickets for them to fly right back - and called her with the news of what had happened. The cousin in Florida told her sister of her vision. And then she learned that was exactly what was happening at the moment they were on the tarmac.

God really is love. And those who are really plugged into God's love are very sensitive to the Spirit of God. I know the Bible says "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe." But I certainly appreciate seeing those signs of God's love, because there are so many signs constantly around us of man's inhumanity to man - the cruel and the mean.


jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 4:22 PM

Row - there's nothing special about buildings, except the church (which is not the building - it's the people) meets there to comfort, educate, share experiences, and lend strength to each other. As far as the best place to worship - I always feel closest to God worshiping while climbing in the mountains or while waterskiing.

smeans
Smeans  (Level: 109.2 - Posts: 301)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 7:47 PM

LOL okay here is my own bad blind date story but this was a disaster of my own making. When I went away to college I got sucked into talkers....some of you old school computer people might remember the telnet talkers and muds. Well, I chatted with loads of people....too many to keep track of and often I would be talking to 10-15 people at one time and never quite remembering what line of crap I was feeding people because in the telnet talkers once something scrolled off the screen you couldn't go back and look at it and whatnot and the screens moved fast. Well one guy I talked too for a few weeks asked me out because he was going to be in town that weekend. I agreed.....he showed up. He was very good looking and I am all tongue tied so we go out to dinner, which was a very short dinner and he takes me back to the dorm. I thought things had went okay enough, considering it was a first date and they are always awkward and looked forward to talking to him again. The next day I got an email from him blasting me for lying to him and telling me he never wanted to speak to me again. You see apparently in one of my crazy multi-chatting sessions where I would just throw out the most insane stuff I could think of I told him I was 6' 0 tall...which was the truth, that I had brown hair and green eyes....which was the truth and apparently that I was a 36-30-38DD in measurements (rather barbie doll like) and wore like a size 5 or something crazy like that.....when in reality I was a plus sized gal wearing a size 18 and a small B cup at the time. ROTFLMAO.....no wonder the date was so short and he wasn't very talkative and kept looking at his watch. I just wonder if Brad Paisley had an experience like that when he wrote the song "Online" because ya know at the time ~~~I was sooooo much cooler online. *giggle*

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:06 PM

I was born I don't know what - but raised methodist...growing up in the south - baptist was the majority religion - even went a few times with my friends (and I know all churches are not like this - but the one I went to with my friend was) and it was getting saved every week - hell fire & brimstone and completley different from the God I grew up with - my perception of what the baptists thought of God was really scary and at 15 actually gave me nightmares.

Then, I went with a friend of mine when I was about 17 to the Bronco Bowl in Dallas (some Texans will know what that is) - to hear a Christian singer (so I thought) that I loved - it was actually a rally for those of the Assembly of God persuasian...another branch of religion I had never been exposed to.

I was sitting there next to my friend Kathy, and we were all praying, I have no idea how many - it was just packed, and then I hear this small voice saying "Lorri".

I opened my eyes and kind of peeked around, but everyone had their heads bowed. I didn't feel creeped out or anything, but just a little weird. Few minutes passed by and I am sitting there with my head bowed and I hear "Lorri". I quickly open my eyes, and look around, turn and look behind me and sure enough I'm the ONLY one with my head not bowed and praying and looking around. I'm really beginning to think I'm losing it because I "Knew" that God couldn't be talking to me - simply because I was so freaked out and just KNEW he wouldn't pick a place where I was so uncomfortable.

About 5 minutes later, everyone is still praying (yeah it went on a long time) - the speaker is on the stage talking/praying and really LOUD I hear "LORRI!"

By this time, I'm ready to jump out of my seat and go running out the door. I sit still praying "God don't let me lose it. God don't let me lose it" - and then I start hearing all this weird language coming from all around me (later which I was to learn was speaking in tongues).

I managed to sit through the rest of the rally - about 2 hours - and was about the most uncomfortable I'd ever been in my life (having never been exposed to such a thing) - and on the way home I was really quiet.

Kathy asked me what was wrong and I asked her "Okay, am I crazy or did you hear someone calling your name?" She said "No one called my name" I said "Did you hear someone call MY name?" She said "No, I don't think so" - so I went through explanation as typed above with her and her eyes got wide, and she started laughing. She actually laughed for about 6-8 minutes before she stopped and then said

"They weren't saying "Lorri", they were saying "Glory". Then started laughing some more at me.

Bet you thought I was going to turn this into something different didn't you?

I didn't go back (not knocking it - just too freaky for me) and I went happily back to my Methodist church and my Methodist youth group where we are allowed to listen to rock and roll, dance etc - without fear of being struck by lightening.



jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:22 PM

Oh - you are soooooooooo screwed. You have a new nickname. bwahahahahahahaha

Bronco Bowl - good memories. Saw Russ Taff there about a year after he left the Imperials. Got there early since seats weren't assigned - we stood in line an hour to get a good seat. When they finally opened the door, we all rushed in to grab the front center.

Then looked around - and NOBODY else came in! We sat there in our front seats very lonely for another hour waiting for Russ to sing. Apparently you either LOVED him or didn't show up.

You wouldn't like CFNI then if you weren't comfortable with AGs. But I love being in the middle of a huge congregation singing in tongues and worshipping unabashedly.

Once up in the mountains, there was a huge group of worshippers camping down on the river (1/4 mile straight down from our cabin). At night they would sing P&W songs and it would echo up those mountainsides. It was an indescribable, Heavenly, angelic sound. And imagine, the real Heaven is even better than that!

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:27 PM

What's a P&W song?

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:31 PM

Never mind - got it.

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:32 PM

Praise & Worship Smoke

Your right Jan - we all have our comfort zones - and worship (or not) in different ways.

I think Chrisitans are viewed on the whole by many people who aren't as the public examples we unfortunately wind up with (The Bakers for example).

Like any group that gets judged or labeled by a category / skin color / nationality - it's not a good thing.

It is a neat thing about Sploofus though - that most of the time all of us tend to mix together well

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 8:33 PM

And saying I wouldn't like CNFI (if I did that right) - you're probably right - I'd be cranking R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion (I do that anyway )

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5642)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 9:04 PM

I'm a Baptist myself and was raised up in church but I never heard of anything like Kaelin described happening in any Baptist church I ever went too. Now the Church Of God is entirely different and that kind of sounds like the type of church service you were at Kaelin....Now my little story happened at the grocery store when my youngest son was about three years old. (He'll be 15 tomorrow). Anyway, I was going through the check out and as I was placing items on the belt thing with my son's help of course, I placed a box of Kotex down. My son, God love him informed the cashier that his mom was having her period and not to mess with her because she gets cranky when she's this way...I felt like crawling under the buggy. The cashier was laughing so hard that I thought she was going to pee her pants! The joys of parenthood!
Vickie

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 9:24 PM

Sent both my children to xian school for years (for various reasons--none of them religious), then had them watch "Zeitgeist"... I trust they'll make up their own minds.

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 9:48 PM

Snakes - I was afraid to come back and look - I've watched those "snake church documentaries" - whew!

snakes
Snakes  (Level: 227.1 - Posts: 98)
Fri, 25th Jul '08 10:15 PM

You all must think I've some sort of weird herpetological hang-up. (No--but I have a friend who once had a pet snake named Freud... ) It's a Zappa reference, baby.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 1:49 AM

Here's my most complicated dating story.

I was a senior in high school, and had started dating a new girl ( "D" ) in February or March. She had already said she'd go to prom with another guy, and felt bad about ditching him, and I didn't care about prom anyway, so didn't object to her keeping her date with him. He was a nice guy, and understood the situation, and was cool with it. So, I wasn't going to go to prom, but I'd pick her up at home afterward.

One of my teachers, " Mr. M " , was very cool. He was 26 years old, English teacher, adviser for the school newspaper (I was editor). If it had been a few years later, he would have been the kind of teacher you might smoke pot with. So Mr M asked me if I was going to prom, and I told him about the situation, and he suggested that I take "L". L was also on the newpaper staff, and a friend of mine, and a friend of D's, and it would have been okay...but I didn't understand why Mr M was interested. It turned out that Mr M and L were having a little romance, and she wanted to go to the Prom, but Mr M didn't want her to go with the boys who were asking, but he thought I would be a safe escort for his little Lolita. Mr M offered to pay my expenses, and all the girls were okay with it, so that's what we were going to do. I would pick L up from her parent's home, take her to the Prom, and take her to Mr M's place afterward.

Meanwhile, another friend, we'll call her " N ", asked me if I'd do her a favor. She wanted to go to prom with her true love, " T ". Problem was, T was black and N was white and her parents objected to T on those grounds. Would I come and pick N up and pretend that I was taking her to prom so her parents wouldn't get all KKK on her? Right up my Freedom Rider alley; of course I'd do that thing for my friends.

So here's how my prom night went down: I got dressed up in my blue seersucker tux with frilly shirt and set out with three corsages. I don't remember how I explained that to my parents. Went to N's house, pinned on corsage with pictures by mother, made nice with parents, and left. Delivered N to T, waiting a few blocks away. Then to L's house, repeated the corsage ritual with pictures and small talk, and left for the prom. Had a good time, danced with both of my dates and also my girlfriend, had pictures taken with all three girls (including one with all four of us together). After prom, L and I went by D's house and waited for her. I gave D my third corsage, took D and L over to Mr M's place, where he had cooked dinner for all of us. D and I took L home, and I walked her to the door and said goodnight to her parents. Then we met N and T, and we took N home, same drill. Finally, I took D back home, and went home myself, all tuckered out.

So that's how I appeared in so much photography on my prom night. About six months later, D and I attended the wedding of Mr M and L. N and T broke up right after graduation. D and I lasted about a year, and broke up near the end of our freshman year in college. I haven't been in contact with any of them for over forty years.

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 161.2 - Posts: 5412)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 1:57 AM

This must have been a very large school and the parents involved didn't know one another or surely someone would have found out. What an exciting time you must have had!

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 2:04 AM

There were 1200 in my class. I don't think any of the parents had ever met. And I left out a lot of really exciting stuff to preserve the family-friendliness of the site.

smaug
Smaug  (Level: 144.0 - Posts: 2765)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 7:41 AM

RJ --

lol....that is a great story

All you need is Potsie and Ralph Mouth

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 1:17 PM

I've thought there's a decent Sixteen Candles/Happy Days/American Grafitti genre film in there somewhere. Any script writers out there?

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 1:41 PM

RJ: double, triple dare you to post that picture!

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 1:42 PM

Please PM the stuff you left out.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 2:01 PM

Haven't seen the pictures for years, probably in my old yearbook in the depths of the basement. I'll look. And I'll work on the PG version tonight. Nothing really X happened.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 2:09 PM

I yield my best story trophy to RJ.

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 2:33 PM

As the director of a hospice for years, I have personally witness some amazing things. I would love to share a few.

I had a patient who had been comatose for weeks; nonresponsive and nonverbal. On Christmas eve she opened her eyes and requested to go sit next to the Christmas tree and have a glass of wine. She had not had anything by mouth for weeks, and we couldn't understand how she even knew what season it was. She was carried to the couch, had a sip of wine and died peacefully about an hour later.

I had a very demented patient who woke up yelling to her mother "Not yet, I'm not ready". I am absolutely convienced that friends and family that have passed do come back to get you. A few days later she woke up and said "Okay Mom" and died 10 minutes later.

I have had patients who speak to young children standing in tiny doorways in the wall, family floating above their beds, unborn children they have probably morned for decades.

My absolute favorite:
I had a young (55-year-old) patient who was suffering horribly from AIDS and metastatic lung cancer. He was thin, emaciated, gaunt and scared. I had seen pictures of him from only four years previous; built, handsome, hunky.
One Saturday morning at 7:23 I had a dream that this man, again healthy and built, was walking away from me holding hands with a frightened young boy and a toddler. He looked proud, in control and strong.
His partner called me at 7:25 to say he had just taken his last breath. I am so proud of him that with his final step to the next life he was able to help these children cross over.

I could go on for days. There is so much I have witnessed. It is not about religion, it is about meaning.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 3:13 PM

Years ago, in my early 20's, I thought I might want to go into nursing. I thought I'd give it a trial run, I got my certified nursing assistant certification through a local college outreach program. The only place that had any openings at the time was the local nursing home. While I worked there, my father in law's best friend's dad (go ahead, digest that for a second) was a resident. I used to visit with him every day. One day I went in and he was crying. The other nurses and CNA's who worked there could not console him and asked me to talk to him. I asked him what was wrong. He said "Jim died in a car accident." Jim was his son that was the best friend of my father in law. I said "No Bill, that's not true. I just saw Jim yesterday and he's fine." He wouldn't believe me for the longest time, he was inconsolable. After several minutes, I finally had him calmed down and semi-convinced that his son had not died in a car accident. It just so happened that Jim came walking down the hall at that time to visit his father. I was relieved and said "Why look Bill, there's Jim now." Bill was still wiping away his tears and so Jim said "What's the matter, Dad?" Bill looked at him, looked at me, and then looked back at Jim and said "SHE TOLD ME YOU DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT!"

gawd!

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 3:39 PM

Sweet tea in the keyboard. My sister has worked in nursing homes for years. She has a million near-death stories to make the hair sit up on your neck. She took care of James Gandolfini's mom in her last days and has an autographed picture with them. How's that for bizarre, hanging with the family photos in the stairwell? My little sis, Tony Soprano, and his late mom with a blue tube up her nose and a vacant look on her face: "To Joyce, thanks for everything, James Gandolfini".

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5642)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 4:06 PM

I have worked in the medical field going on 30 years now and I think I have seen or heard everything...15 years of this was spent in the ER and some of the stories I could tell you! This one always makes me laugh when I think about it...There was an older lady who showed up one evening at the ER. She came rushing in telling us that Cindy was in labor and for us to hurry and get a stretcher and get her inside before she had her babies in the car...When we heard the word babies we all went into action mode...We called the ER doctor and told him we had a multiple birth outside and we needed him stat...He proceeding to have a delivery room made ready. My friend and I rushed outside along with the doctor to get the mother inside the ER...The lady rushed out ahead of us a proceeded to open the back door so we could get to "our patient"...When we looked into the back seat expecting to see a pregnant woman what we saw was a big Chocolate Lab! The ER doctor gently lifted her up and placed her on the stretcher and wheeled her into the ER...My friend stayed with the dog's owner...The doctor took the dog into a utility room back off the ER and placed her on some old sheets we had stored there...He then came out and informed the lady that Cindy was fine and she could see her in a little while...He stayed with the dog in that store room until she had 4 of the prettiest puppies you ever saw! When the lady asked about the delivery room charges the doctor replied "It's all been taken care of mam'...These nice nurses here have already cleaned it up and you can go see Cindy in just a few minutes"...He took the dog out of the box, placed her on a stretcher and we wheeled her out to the owner. He even threw in some baby formula and diapers for these pups....It's like Will Rogers said.."If there is no dogs in Heaven I don't want to go there...(Oh yeah, the ER doctor called the local vet as he'd never helped bring puppies into the world and the vet talked him through it over the telephone)...
Vickie

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 4:40 PM

Great story, Vickie. I love to hear stories like that rather than what I expected - everyone to get mad at turn the lady and her dog away.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 4:55 PM

That was a sweet story, Vickie. Thanks for sharing that!

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5642)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 7:47 PM

I have one more story to share with everyone...I've already told this one to Janks but I'll share it with everyone else. When I was 18 my brother (who was 5 at the time as he is 13 years younger than me) I was getting ready for a date and I asked him to watch and let me know when my date showed up. He did this of course...As I was walking down the hallway I heard my little brother ask my date what his intentions were toward his sister...I hurried into the living room in time to see my 5 year old brother point his finger at my date and in a very serious voice say, "You'd better bring my sissy back in the same condition she leaves in!" I thought I would die. My mom and dad were laughing so hard they couldn't scold him! Luckily, my brother is now 40 and has a son of his own...pay back time! ROFL

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Sat, 26th Jul '08 7:57 PM

Vickie - the pregnant dog story is so sweet! It's always inspiring to hear of someone who does the sweet, right thing, rather than lay down the law of how it's not their job. Kindness reigns!

salzypat
Salzypat  (Level: 161.2 - Posts: 5412)
Sun, 27th Jul '08 2:04 AM

Lodi, loved your story. i was expecting a touching moment of some kind and instead it turned out really funny.

Bbear and Vickie, always love to hear stories like that.

20 years ago I had a sweet German shepherd/Lab cross, looked more German shepherd, and he just had the most delightful personality. This was in the days before they had animals in the nursing homes, so I called the nursing home and asked if they might like me to bring my dog in to visit the residents. He brought his ball along and as long as someone would toss it for him he was delighted. The activity director then took me from room to room. She would tell each resident that I was there with my dog and would it be all right to come in to visit. Most said yes, but a couple said no. When we got to the very end of the long hallway, the activity director told me before we went in to not expect much from the resident in there, that he had advanced Alzheimer's and hadn't spoken or responded to anything in months. She stepped to the doorway and asked if we could come in; he sat glassy-eyed and never even looked at her.

She told me to come on in with the dog for just a second. The minute my dog Fritz entered the room the elderly man got excited and burst out in rapid-fire speech "oh what a big dog, oh what a big dog" just over and over. The activity director took his hand and helped him pet Fritz, all the time he kept repeating the phrase. I don't know what ever happened to him after that as I never had time to take Fritz back again.

davidf
Davidf  (Level: 102.1 - Posts: 746)
Sun, 27th Jul '08 8:23 AM

I co wrote a book when I was seven which was published and sold in shops and won awards (not kidding, that is true)

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Sun, 27th Jul '08 10:20 AM

Awesome. Tell us the name so we can check it out.

I get an occasional royalty check for my work in this book because I created the index:

Characterization Techniques and Tabulations for Organic Nonlinear Optical Materials

I know. You think I'd get more science questions right.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 1:17 AM

RE: my defrocking as previously referred to in the Exciting Death Float News thread.

At my 20 year high school reunion, several of us gals were sitting there, watching everyone at a catered dinner. The class reunions in a small town are fun because the teachers who are still alive attend as well. Since we were all having a few drinks, the girls got to talking and one of them asked "Who in this room have you slept with?" I had dated several of the fellas in the room and in fact, my defrockee was there. He wasn't from my class but had married one of my classmates. So I said (and yes, it was the truth), "I have only slept with one man in this room." So that got the guessing game going (was it him? How about him? Ooooo, was it him?) I said no to all and then said "It was Mr. Pfefferkorn." (he was my 6th grade teacher). We all guffawed after that and everyone went outside and continued the festivities. Later that evening, as midnight was approaching, several of the teachers started making their way home. Mr. Pfefferkorn was saying his goodbyes. Everyone always loved him - he always had a twinkle in his eye. Before he left, he said "Hey Lori, come here and give me a hug goodbye." When I got over there, gave him a hug, he said "So what's this I hear about us sleeping together?" GAWD I ABOUT DIED! And glared down a bunch of snickering women who instantly looked as I remembered them 20 years earlier. That sure was a fun night. At one point, Scott convinced the DJ to give him a mic and started singing love songs to me. I was standing with some guys and one of them said "Geez, who is that guy?"

I said "Heck if I know."

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 3:18 AM

Dear Lodi....
A FROCK is a garment worn by Monks and other Clerics
(and also assorted others - usually female)
DE-FROCKED means the Cleric did something to disgrace the Cloth
and so was no longer entitled to wear the ``Frock``

So please don`t tell us any more about being "De-flowered"
by poor old misunderstood Mr. Pfefferkorn....
Instead....please tell us how come you can marry people????
This cat is going to die from curiosity,
and it will be all your fault ! ! ! ! :`(

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 3:24 AM

Dear Lodi....
Please define "Internet Reverend"

Are you sure they didn`t actually say
you are " Reprehensible on the Internet" ????

davidf
Davidf  (Level: 102.1 - Posts: 746)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 8:51 AM

The book is Rushaven Time

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5642)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 11:33 AM

One more story then I have to go play band mother at the high school....When I was working in the ER on 3rd shift (if anyone has ever worked in a small hospital you know that they are always short staffed on night shift.) we were having an extra busy night. We'd had four car accidents, 2 codes, and a couple of OD's come in all before 4 a.m....I told the other nurse and the ER doctor if the ambulance service called in with one more mishap I'd probably lose it. Around 6:30 in the morning, right before shift change we got a call on the radio from the ambulance service. I picked up the phone and said "Oh s%%t what now?" My mom had a scanner and was up at the time...Needless to say, she called and scolded me for cursing over the radio...My cousin who owned the ambulance service called back and told me that the person had s%%t all over the back of the ambulance...talk about payback! I was late getting home that morning...

Vickie

heidi
Heidi  (Level: 36.2 - Posts: 694)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 1:32 PM

Vickie,

You were one of the first people here to show me extreme kindness. At some point eons ago you and I were rather close in number of quizzes authored. At that time you were the one who taught me how to add images to my quizzes-a decided plus. You are consistently kind in your posts-nothing two-faced about you. You are loved by all here. It just made me "chuckle" to hear you say you once cussed-something I seem to do quite regulafrly. It made you not just a friend but a human being to me. Thanks for your honest post-Linda

lisap369
Lisap369  (Level: 61.1 - Posts: 992)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 4:23 PM

Not to take anything away from Vicki but.. is that insinuating that all other posts are dishonest?? lol

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 5:34 PM

I can only speak for myself - I am a well known liar. I'm pretty sure I recognize some of my people on here.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 5:36 PM

I better add that I am kidding. But I am pretty sure there are some liars on here. If I were lying, I would make myself out to be a much more interesting person!

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 7:31 PM

Remember Star Trek - Spock said "Everything I say is a lie."

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 10:46 PM

Does anyone remember the show Grammar Rock that would come on Saturday mornings? Conjunction Junction, Unpack your adjectives, Interjections, etc. I find it quite interesting - a noun's a person, place or thing. So catchy, those songs. I would love to take a quiz on that - anybody?

Sorry I'm coming from nowhere with this - this seems to be the place for completely random thoughts.

cujgie
Cujgie  (Level: 182.1 - Posts: 754)
Mon, 28th Jul '08 11:52 PM

Sure, I could do a grammar trivia quiz. Will get right to it. (The waiting list is very long right now, so maybe it'll be launched by Thursday?)

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 12:58 AM

I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill, and I'm stuck up here on capitol hill......



knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 1:36 AM

I can't believe we were tricked into learning on a Saturday morning! Those songs were so catchy though - I actually have a cd with all the original songs. That show is how I memorized the preamble and still how I remember it today!

ladyvol
Ladyvol  (Level: 212.1 - Posts: 5642)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 10:12 AM

Thanks Linda for the nice comment and yes I too, am human just like everyone else here and I've made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime...and I've been known to let loose with some pretty choice cuss words in my time...ROFL.... I don't know who the leaders are now as far as the writing of quizzes go as we can no longer see on the site who is leading like on 1.0...I'd like to think that everyone here is at least fairly honest...at least in the things that really matter like love, friendship and generosity.
Thanks again Linda for making my morning...
Vickie

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 11:28 AM

Tourettes? Are those pastries? I love chocolate.

smoke20
Smoke20  (Level: 62.6 - Posts: 2815)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 12:10 PM

Wowser! Looky at all that there community! I feel all spirity.

There is no greater blessing in life than funny friends.





Cept maybe a long weekend with Colin Farrell.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 12:17 PM

My clairvoyance tells me you will be spending a long weekend with something feral, but it isn't going to be Colin.

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 12:33 PM

I had a funny uncle once, that's what everybody said.

garrybl
Garrybl  (Level: 291.0 - Posts: 6767)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 9:56 PM

this is the sort of theme that makes sploofus so interesting.
In college I was on my team for University Challenge (College Rose Bowl equivalent).
We reached the KO stage and lost to a team with Stephen Fry (who was the star of his team)... I'm still bitter.
But I DO find Fry funny so I suppose I've forgiven him.

maurlin
Maurlin  (Level: 220.2 - Posts: 2706)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 10:18 PM

Was Hugh Laurie on Fry's team?

chickfbref1
Chickfbref1  (Level: 120.7 - Posts: 2011)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 11:06 PM

Bump

lucimoore
Lucimoore  (Level: 191.7 - Posts: 1731)
Tue, 29th Jul '08 11:51 PM

In the spirit of community

I come to this site to have fun, get rid of tension and I hoped to find some friends. I have a couple of real bummer, fist in the gut moments going on in my life and laughingly say this is my exhale place. Sounds reasonable since there are in excess of thirty thousand members and should be plenty of room for anyone.

I play the normal games and enjoyed, along with others, the film quotes thread and occasionally added to Tuzilla's number thread. Just went to Word Rounds and read the shout outs. Guess I just didn't get it about the community spirit.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 12:44 AM

Glad you posted, Cindy. Now you must tell us an embarrassing story so you can truly feel that community spirit!

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 12:29 PM

I don't like York Peppermint Patties.

But I like Alvandy.

difod
Difod  (Level: 254.2 - Posts: 108)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 3:32 PM

I know Lodi is talented, but she could recognize Kiefer Sutherland by his lips alone?

Impressive!

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 5:18 PM

I've spent a lot of time daydreaming about those lips.

I've loved Keifer since he played the cowboy poet in Young Guns.

(swoon)

kaelin
Kaelin  (Level: 49.2 - Posts: 1685)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 5:34 PM

Lost Boys - the vampire - that was my favorite Keifer moment

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 8:50 PM

I am officially on vacation and will have sploofusers arriving by tomorrow.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 9:04 PM

I'm there in spirit! My best to everybody - have extra fun in my name!

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 9:11 PM

Yeah....Hugs and Kisses to y'all
Play nice....

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 9:57 PM

Play nice? I don't even know what that means. If it means no name calling or running with scissors, then forget it.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 10:02 PM

Lodi, can you do divorces, too?

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 10:04 PM

As a matter of fact, I can. But I can't represent you. I could prepare your paperwork but you would have to appear "pro se."

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 10:07 PM

What does poetry have to do with getting a divorce? Poetic justice or something?

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 10:54 PM

Does "Pro se" mean the same as "in the buff"????

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 10:57 PM

yes. That's EXACTLY what it means. I didn't know you spoke Latin!

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 11:14 PM

Veni, Vidi, Vici
etc.
Et tu Brute.
And my old High School Song....
which I would sing for you if
I could come there
this weekend....

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Wed, 30th Jul '08 11:33 PM

Personal Story....
I've told this before - but maybe someone hasn't heard it????

A few winters ago - I was walking my dogs in the early morning
when a HUGE adult 500LB (?) Black Bear emerged from the bushes,
about 2 - 3 yards away from us....
Brain starts to work....what do they say to do, if you meet a bear????
**Make lots of noise and make yourself look as large as possible**
I start singing AT THE TOP OF MY LUNG-POWER, and swinging my
arms out wide at both sides....
Bear stares at me....shakes it's head....AND WALKS AWAY....
I am shouting Good King Wenseslas....dogs think I'm a hero

kaufman
Kaufman  (Level: 267.4 - Posts: 3941)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 6:13 AM

Bearaoke.

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 8:25 AM

Lodi - me appearing pro se apparently is what ruined the marriage in the first place.

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 10:25 AM

Tell him to look in the mirror! I swear, sometimes I wish I were gay because the male body really can be disgusting at times, you know. P*nis envy - I don't have it, wouldn't want one!

bbear
Bbear  (Level: 166.9 - Posts: 2297)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 10:52 AM

Hay, you all. Look at Heidi's recent posts. Ouch. Make her stop; I'd hate for her to go away.

eesusbejesus
Eesusbejesus  (Level: 75.0 - Posts: 3641)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 12:29 PM

"I don't know how they walk with those things."

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 12:43 PM

Ya gotta feel a little sorry for them - not like they could ever fake it if they weren't in the mood. And not like they can hide it if they are!

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 3:17 PM

It's pathetic to feel like faking it either way, isn't it?

knerd
Knerd  (Level: 99.0 - Posts: 1139)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 4:26 PM

Pathetic? Yes - but, um, sometimes a girl just wants to get some sleep,...or read a book, or do word matches, or ...

papajensai
Papajensai  (Level: 201.3 - Posts: 1024)
Thu, 31st Jul '08 4:43 PM

So do you pretend interest to get it over with, or pretend disinterest so you can do something else?

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Fri, 1st Aug '08 1:25 AM

Lodi....
Don't you remember when you were a teenager
and sometimes the boys would get all red in the
face....and refuse to even stand up!!!!
Someone said the wise words " Males only need
a light breeze to blow past them, to get excited"

jank0614
Jank0614  (Level: 67.1 - Posts: 4593)
Fri, 1st Aug '08 1:29 AM

(sing it with me)

Pro se, can you see.....

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Fri, 1st Aug '08 3:21 AM

LOL

rowlanda
Rowlanda  (Level: 70.0 - Posts: 2853)
Tue, 5th Aug '08 6:51 AM

If I'm pretending interest OR disinterest, it
means somebody is doing something wrong


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