How to Kill Vampires in Different Countries
Billkozy on 07/27/2008
|First of all, you've got to find one. How to do that? Well if it's night time, chances are he (or she, according to one of my favorite titillating fantasies) will find you. But you would do well to wait for daylight; that's your best chance of annihilating the unholy creature, as he will be most vulnerable. So then, one thing you can try is to have a young male virgin ride a black stallion that is also a virgin, and then have them amble through a cemetery. When the horse stops at a certain grave and gets all jittery and refuses to cross past that grave, then you've come upon a vampire hiding below in his resting place.|
Another thing you could do is hire a private detective to "stake" out a vampire's previously-known whereabouts, and once he gets lucky and spies the bloodsucker, the detective then lies low in his car's front seat and keeps an eye on him. Then he slowly follows the vampire home, watching specifically for where he beds down for the day. Then the private dick calls and tells you, "Yeah I got the goods on Count Orloc, he's at the old abandoned McGillicuddy mansion, in the basement." I thought of this method of locating a vampire all by myself.
Now then, if you're here in the good ol' USA you do the usual. Take a stake and drive it through the bloke's cold cold heart, and then step back and watch the fireworks. But if you're in a foreign country...whoa, now! Then you gotta watch out, because vampires live by a whole different set of rules in some places. If you're in Albania you're lucky, because the vampire there, called "Sampiro" is also killed by a stake through the heart. But other places? Tsk tsk tsk. Best you print out this quiz and take it with you if you're thinking of traveling overseas and might run into one of these guys.
Basically this quiz will consist of various places in the world, and the name of the vampire as he is called there. Then you just pick out the method of dispatching him as practiced by the locals. Simple enough? I hope so.
Please do rate the quiz afterward, and sleep tight. But maybe...just maybe you should keep one eye open. And a vial of holy water on the night table by your bedside.
Mwahh ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa!
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